"I've been searching deep down in my soul, words that I'm hearing are starting to get old."
Wow, I've been so busy lately that I'm even lucky enough to have time to be on the computer. I'm not used to all this hastiness.
I started my job at WinnDixie Saturday. It was going pretty smoothly except for my shift on Monday night. It was hell, seriously. My trainer was getting impatient with me because I wasn't as fast with the register as she wanted me to be. I personally thought I was doing well, but when I made a mistake every now and then.. she would point to the screen on the register and said things like, "No.. read," which made me feel inadequate. And guess where that led me. To tears. In front of everyone. When my customers would smile and try to comfort me by saying that their first job was a mess, it just made everything worse. I would start choking up again. I appreciated their attempts, though. I was so stressed when I got home, an HOUR later than I was supposed to get off, that I fell into my mom's arms crying. I just hope my next shifts (this weekend) will turn out better.
I'm confused with my relationship with Jon. I thought that I liked him. But when our first kiss came not so long ago, I just.. didn't feel anything. So now everytime he wants to give me a kiss, I just laugh and turn my head, pretending that I thought he was just joking. So that worsens my confusion, which leads to the thought of my sexuality, thus deepening my stress.
I started my job at WinnDixie Saturday. It was going pretty smoothly except for my shift on Monday night. It was hell, seriously. My trainer was getting impatient with me because I wasn't as fast with the register as she wanted me to be. I personally thought I was doing well, but when I made a mistake every now and then.. she would point to the screen on the register and said things like, "No.. read," which made me feel inadequate. And guess where that led me. To tears. In front of everyone. When my customers would smile and try to comfort me by saying that their first job was a mess, it just made everything worse. I would start choking up again. I appreciated their attempts, though. I was so stressed when I got home, an HOUR later than I was supposed to get off, that I fell into my mom's arms crying. I just hope my next shifts (this weekend) will turn out better.
I'm confused with my relationship with Jon. I thought that I liked him. But when our first kiss came not so long ago, I just.. didn't feel anything. So now everytime he wants to give me a kiss, I just laugh and turn my head, pretending that I thought he was just joking. So that worsens my confusion, which leads to the thought of my sexuality, thus deepening my stress.