(no subject)
It was just your adverage everyday common ol' Superbowl party. I go to my brothers house and to see my parents, Darren, Kate and the girls. We eat dinner and everything's peachy keen. After dinner my brother and I divide up what food we are taking to save ourselves' the trouble of having to cook anything for the rest of the week. In the mist of cleaning up my Pop says, 'Jeremy, can i talk to you for a moment?' and then heads into the other room without waiting for a reply.
my heart is pounding at this point. reasons why:
-My pop calls me Fred. When he says Jeremy, or Jer; it's because he is mad.
-My Dad doesn't tend to leave a room, or even request a moment to talk if he has something not pleasent to say.
-and finally he left the room without giving me the chance to say 'no, I can't talk right now', which I have never done, but I wish I would have thought of it before now, damn.
In the other room we start discussing the fact that I'm on my own now and all that shit. He says he found a place for me to live in Lancaster. At first I wanted to say, I'm not living in Lancaster summer, but the truth was I kind of figured I would fall back on moving in with them if nothing else worked out. It downed on me now how much on my own I really was. Not a dime to my name and now not a home, no matter how much I dreaded it.
Well I put off discussing it with my father. I guess I figured if I waited long enough the place he had in mind would be taken and I would say 'damn, looks like I'm going to freeload for a while'(if only it was freeloading). Unfortunatly my Ma, Queen of making my relationship with my father uneasy, cornered the both of us lastnight. So I told him that I plan on staying where I am, I plan on getting myself a job within the field I want to work in. And I was ready to fight with him and he says "ok". So i try to break it out of him, what is he thinking, why does he not agree with this, what the fuck is going on? And he just said, well you know whats going on with your life, you know where you'll be best so I'll let you decide.
Well thats all well and good, it's what I've been waiting for since high school, being free of them, making my own decesions.
It's pretty fucked up though. They acted like they know what I want to do is a bad idea and they are just letting me do it.
I was cut off when all the shit went down last Spring. But they still remained my parents in every concieveble way. I don't know what the fuck happened since then, I became a model son; good grades, clean, workaholic, followed every single rule they every pulled out of their ass, even though I probably could have gotten away with breaking every rule, and now I am no longer welcome to stay in their house.
Got to grew up sometime. I'll do it tomorrow. I always wanted to be a homeless orphan living in a gang that steals to eat, like that boy from Free Willy until he gets adopted, but dirtier.
That and I have some fucked up writing I would like to make public someday...no one can tell me no anymore. and yet I'm still scared shitless.
my heart is pounding at this point. reasons why:
-My pop calls me Fred. When he says Jeremy, or Jer; it's because he is mad.
-My Dad doesn't tend to leave a room, or even request a moment to talk if he has something not pleasent to say.
-and finally he left the room without giving me the chance to say 'no, I can't talk right now', which I have never done, but I wish I would have thought of it before now, damn.
In the other room we start discussing the fact that I'm on my own now and all that shit. He says he found a place for me to live in Lancaster. At first I wanted to say, I'm not living in Lancaster summer, but the truth was I kind of figured I would fall back on moving in with them if nothing else worked out. It downed on me now how much on my own I really was. Not a dime to my name and now not a home, no matter how much I dreaded it.
Well I put off discussing it with my father. I guess I figured if I waited long enough the place he had in mind would be taken and I would say 'damn, looks like I'm going to freeload for a while'(if only it was freeloading). Unfortunatly my Ma, Queen of making my relationship with my father uneasy, cornered the both of us lastnight. So I told him that I plan on staying where I am, I plan on getting myself a job within the field I want to work in. And I was ready to fight with him and he says "ok". So i try to break it out of him, what is he thinking, why does he not agree with this, what the fuck is going on? And he just said, well you know whats going on with your life, you know where you'll be best so I'll let you decide.
Well thats all well and good, it's what I've been waiting for since high school, being free of them, making my own decesions.
It's pretty fucked up though. They acted like they know what I want to do is a bad idea and they are just letting me do it.
I was cut off when all the shit went down last Spring. But they still remained my parents in every concieveble way. I don't know what the fuck happened since then, I became a model son; good grades, clean, workaholic, followed every single rule they every pulled out of their ass, even though I probably could have gotten away with breaking every rule, and now I am no longer welcome to stay in their house.
Got to grew up sometime. I'll do it tomorrow. I always wanted to be a homeless orphan living in a gang that steals to eat, like that boy from Free Willy until he gets adopted, but dirtier.
That and I have some fucked up writing I would like to make public someday...no one can tell me no anymore. and yet I'm still scared shitless.