There's no place like home...So where am I.
So suddenly I'm part of That 70's show. I'm sitting there with Eric Foreman and Donna. Oddly enough we are babysitting that kid Tommy from the later years of BoyMeetsWorld. So Me, Donna, and Foreman are suddenly mad horny, why? I don't know. Donna suggests a threesome and since Foreman, her boyfriend, had no complaints, neither did I. So we are about to get into the bed that's convenantly right next to us, and I realize the little boy Tommy is right there. Donna says "I'm not feeling well lets crawl into bed". So we did. Then for some reason Donna pays no attention to Foreman and jumps on top of me. The we proceed to have the best sex of our lives. I'll go into detail sometime if you'd like to hear it.
For the rest of the dream I was stuggling with my inner battle to reconsile the thought of best sex ever with cheated on my best friend with his girlfriend syndome. Not the first time that has lead me down a bad road.
So then I go to work and also the hair dresser, and I'm leaving the hairdresser on my 4-wheeler that I need to pedel and it's pouring down rain. So when I'm riding this damn thing I'm tredgeing through rapid waters, I see then my oldest brother Dave. He driving an unusal car that i recognzed as a 1947 dodge which belongs to my father. It didn't look like that though. Dave says "I'll give you a ride." We stuggle to get my unmotorize four wheeler into the back of this Da Vinci mobile which I still assume is the '47 Dodge. He suddenly takes the top down and we lift it over and drop i down into the car, it barly fits. Then next thing I know I'm sitting in the back seat with Tim(my soon to be Borther-in-law that likes sweaters) and Casey (my sister)is riding shot gun. That in and of it self is odd.
So Tim is talking way more then usual; he might as well be speaking Latin because no one is listening, but everyone is annoyed. Casey is bitching that our mother hates her and Dave is trying to figure out why. I'm sitting somewhat silent thinking, 'I don't remember closing down the store, and I was the only one working.' This is a huge problme because the store is owned by Dave's wife parents and it is a beer distributer in the ghetto. Once we get to where Dave was headed I say "What are we doing?", He says "I have to go in and get something." So we all walk in once we go through the door way Dave Tim and Casey are all dressed in scurbs. And the in the middle of this grocery store that we just entered is a operating table with a fat naked hairy man who looks dead. Dave and Casye and Tim begin to preform and autopcy. In the mists of my confusion at this obsurd scenario I suddenly realize, "Fuck! I didn't close down the store, I just walked out. I left the doors open and the registered unlocked. I think I may have even left the lights on for christ sake." I'm panicing. Dave says "Tim take Jeremy to his car, Jeremy you go to work and lock up." He's so calm, it was killing me.
Tim and I step outside and suddenly I notice, my car isn't at home, it's right there parked behind the bazaro '47 Dodge. But the difference is, it is missing the doors the roof the entire interior the engine and th body of the car. It's nothing but a black board with wheel wells and wheels. On top of it is a bunch of ghetto thugs dancing and shit. I go over there drunk with anger and start yelling "You're all in so much trouble, what are your names?" and other teacher like sayings I begin arguing with one of them who won't tell me his name, and I ask a guy who's standing next to me, he says "His name is Mad Max." So I turn to him and say "Alright Mad Max, you are in so...Very funny asshole I want everyones name." The the king of all thugs steps out of a big car that i think was supposed to be a hummer, tell the rest of the gamg to get in the car. This guy starts walking towards the building and I am right behind him like his goddamn shadow yelling and screaming. He walks in grabs like an orange and someother crap and starts to walk out, I yell "You can't steal that too asshole!" He turns around with a kitchen knife in each hand and says something threatening, I was seriously scared for one of the first times ever. he drops the knifes and leaves.
Just Then MaryBeth, Dave's wife, and daughter of the owners of the beer distributor that is currently being robbed thanks to me. I tell Marybeth the deal and she says she'll take me in and we'll lock up. I'm like, 'word, this is all coming together now'. The for somereaons we make a stop off at a high school prom that's currently in session. But this prom has got to be the coolest prom ever. It was a straight up Tim Burton prom. Everyone was dressed in dark clothes with dark make-up on, but every also had some red too which kept it from being goth. But everyone was so beautiful, all the girls around me, hott as can be. I could smell the virginities being lost. That's right sudenly I could smell virginity, like a goddamn virgin hunter.
The real crazy thing about this prom is there was a football game eariler that day and the home team won. So everyone is still in th indoor football field sitting on the belchers. Everyone was celebrating with drugs and alcohol galore. I lost Marybeth for a little so i thought I would join the festivities until I could continue my venture to getting the goddamn store closed. So I'm sitting there with complete strangers except for some of the That 70's Show kids who appeared here and again. And this guy who looks alot like jesus starts passing me booze and then get is rolling a joint and playing weed in front of me, saying "Roll yourself a Jay man". He didn't look at me once which was wierd but I assumed that a drugged out jesus would probably make me combust upon eye contact. I didn't even touch the weed when I hear him snorting lines of coke, and then starts putting line after line in front of me. It was amazing to say the least.
I end up bouncing leaveing two untouched piles of drugs in front of me and I don't remember what happened to the booze, perhaps I drank it, I don't know.
I meet up with all the kids from That 70's Show in a minimarket on the corner of the school. Kelso is there trying to get Donna to sleep with him. And Foreman is considering beating me up because he thinks he should. Hyde talks him into it. Donna stops him. I apoligize and said I wasn't trying to take your girl. and then i walk away and we probably all won emmies for it, it was so lame.
I meet up with Dave and Marybeth at the beginning of a looooong hallway packed with Tim Burton inspired prom kids, all creepy and all sexy. Marybeth says the Distributor is at the end of the hallway so i start walking towards it. Every girl is giving me the eyes like they are hookers looking for some fast cash, but I was biting, I had to get to the beer distibutor to shut it down and hope noone robbed it yet. I pass by a vendering machine and the only thing I see in it is TeenKelly brandname condoms. I stop and think, damn Teen Kelly is so hott. But I continue on anyway. I get to the doors at the end of the halfway, push through them and step outside into the sunlight. I'm there. Suddenly the wind is blwoing so hard that the ridgerator doors and the entrance doors are swinging wildly. And their contents are completely non-existant. I walk in and the store is a mess. cardboard but-outs of women all over the floor, with trampled candy bars and blinking flourescent lights highlighting the fact that even the tiled roof is falling down. Instead of locking anyhing up I just turn around and walk towards Marybeth to tell her what happened. As Soon as I get to her I realize, 'I didn't work today. I just got my haircut and met up with dave. I was on my way to dinner with my parents. The store was closed today.' I'm staring at Marybeth while I'm thinking about all of this and I turn around look, the store is fine, completely intact. Whatever I just saw didn't actually happen.
I wake up with the worst headache of my entire life.
For the rest of the dream I was stuggling with my inner battle to reconsile the thought of best sex ever with cheated on my best friend with his girlfriend syndome. Not the first time that has lead me down a bad road.
So then I go to work and also the hair dresser, and I'm leaving the hairdresser on my 4-wheeler that I need to pedel and it's pouring down rain. So when I'm riding this damn thing I'm tredgeing through rapid waters, I see then my oldest brother Dave. He driving an unusal car that i recognzed as a 1947 dodge which belongs to my father. It didn't look like that though. Dave says "I'll give you a ride." We stuggle to get my unmotorize four wheeler into the back of this Da Vinci mobile which I still assume is the '47 Dodge. He suddenly takes the top down and we lift it over and drop i down into the car, it barly fits. Then next thing I know I'm sitting in the back seat with Tim(my soon to be Borther-in-law that likes sweaters) and Casey (my sister)is riding shot gun. That in and of it self is odd.
So Tim is talking way more then usual; he might as well be speaking Latin because no one is listening, but everyone is annoyed. Casey is bitching that our mother hates her and Dave is trying to figure out why. I'm sitting somewhat silent thinking, 'I don't remember closing down the store, and I was the only one working.' This is a huge problme because the store is owned by Dave's wife parents and it is a beer distributer in the ghetto. Once we get to where Dave was headed I say "What are we doing?", He says "I have to go in and get something." So we all walk in once we go through the door way Dave Tim and Casey are all dressed in scurbs. And the in the middle of this grocery store that we just entered is a operating table with a fat naked hairy man who looks dead. Dave and Casye and Tim begin to preform and autopcy. In the mists of my confusion at this obsurd scenario I suddenly realize, "Fuck! I didn't close down the store, I just walked out. I left the doors open and the registered unlocked. I think I may have even left the lights on for christ sake." I'm panicing. Dave says "Tim take Jeremy to his car, Jeremy you go to work and lock up." He's so calm, it was killing me.
Tim and I step outside and suddenly I notice, my car isn't at home, it's right there parked behind the bazaro '47 Dodge. But the difference is, it is missing the doors the roof the entire interior the engine and th body of the car. It's nothing but a black board with wheel wells and wheels. On top of it is a bunch of ghetto thugs dancing and shit. I go over there drunk with anger and start yelling "You're all in so much trouble, what are your names?" and other teacher like sayings I begin arguing with one of them who won't tell me his name, and I ask a guy who's standing next to me, he says "His name is Mad Max." So I turn to him and say "Alright Mad Max, you are in so...Very funny asshole I want everyones name." The the king of all thugs steps out of a big car that i think was supposed to be a hummer, tell the rest of the gamg to get in the car. This guy starts walking towards the building and I am right behind him like his goddamn shadow yelling and screaming. He walks in grabs like an orange and someother crap and starts to walk out, I yell "You can't steal that too asshole!" He turns around with a kitchen knife in each hand and says something threatening, I was seriously scared for one of the first times ever. he drops the knifes and leaves.
Just Then MaryBeth, Dave's wife, and daughter of the owners of the beer distributor that is currently being robbed thanks to me. I tell Marybeth the deal and she says she'll take me in and we'll lock up. I'm like, 'word, this is all coming together now'. The for somereaons we make a stop off at a high school prom that's currently in session. But this prom has got to be the coolest prom ever. It was a straight up Tim Burton prom. Everyone was dressed in dark clothes with dark make-up on, but every also had some red too which kept it from being goth. But everyone was so beautiful, all the girls around me, hott as can be. I could smell the virginities being lost. That's right sudenly I could smell virginity, like a goddamn virgin hunter.
The real crazy thing about this prom is there was a football game eariler that day and the home team won. So everyone is still in th indoor football field sitting on the belchers. Everyone was celebrating with drugs and alcohol galore. I lost Marybeth for a little so i thought I would join the festivities until I could continue my venture to getting the goddamn store closed. So I'm sitting there with complete strangers except for some of the That 70's Show kids who appeared here and again. And this guy who looks alot like jesus starts passing me booze and then get is rolling a joint and playing weed in front of me, saying "Roll yourself a Jay man". He didn't look at me once which was wierd but I assumed that a drugged out jesus would probably make me combust upon eye contact. I didn't even touch the weed when I hear him snorting lines of coke, and then starts putting line after line in front of me. It was amazing to say the least.
I end up bouncing leaveing two untouched piles of drugs in front of me and I don't remember what happened to the booze, perhaps I drank it, I don't know.
I meet up with all the kids from That 70's Show in a minimarket on the corner of the school. Kelso is there trying to get Donna to sleep with him. And Foreman is considering beating me up because he thinks he should. Hyde talks him into it. Donna stops him. I apoligize and said I wasn't trying to take your girl. and then i walk away and we probably all won emmies for it, it was so lame.
I meet up with Dave and Marybeth at the beginning of a looooong hallway packed with Tim Burton inspired prom kids, all creepy and all sexy. Marybeth says the Distributor is at the end of the hallway so i start walking towards it. Every girl is giving me the eyes like they are hookers looking for some fast cash, but I was biting, I had to get to the beer distibutor to shut it down and hope noone robbed it yet. I pass by a vendering machine and the only thing I see in it is TeenKelly brandname condoms. I stop and think, damn Teen Kelly is so hott. But I continue on anyway. I get to the doors at the end of the halfway, push through them and step outside into the sunlight. I'm there. Suddenly the wind is blwoing so hard that the ridgerator doors and the entrance doors are swinging wildly. And their contents are completely non-existant. I walk in and the store is a mess. cardboard but-outs of women all over the floor, with trampled candy bars and blinking flourescent lights highlighting the fact that even the tiled roof is falling down. Instead of locking anyhing up I just turn around and walk towards Marybeth to tell her what happened. As Soon as I get to her I realize, 'I didn't work today. I just got my haircut and met up with dave. I was on my way to dinner with my parents. The store was closed today.' I'm staring at Marybeth while I'm thinking about all of this and I turn around look, the store is fine, completely intact. Whatever I just saw didn't actually happen.
I wake up with the worst headache of my entire life.