(no subject)
I had a dream where I walked into "tyler's taxidermy and air-conditioning" shop.
I just got back from mississippi where I had to watch my parents and aunt and uncle divide up my grandparents things and start figuring out how to sell the house. "When you are gone, they will go through your books. They will tear up your home by the strings of their memories."
Being around people in a nursing home will quickly make you think about the relationship between your body and mind. It seems impressive to me that when I am upset or lonely or guilty, my conscious brain can basically cause all my cells to change, for my intestines to function differently, for my chest to hurt. I guess I am so used to being almost a stranger in my own body, where I sort of bumble around trying to satiate all these pieces of me and I hang out up in my brain just feeling isolated a lot of the time. It's interesting to know you can do something more to your body than just maneuver its muscles.
I listened to a lot of music and thought a lot while driving to MS and back, but I realized I just haven't found music yet that sounds the way it does in my heart.
College has really been bothering me lately, and this immediate need to figure out what I'm going to do and where I'm going to go. Especially with dad breathing down my neck and making half-joking comments about how I won't get in to any colleges just is making me more anxious. I must remember that its not going to be the end of the world if I make a mistake; I have to keep telling myself that.
The world will be different, but I am hopeful, I really am. I think it will be/(is) beautiful, but I must be patient. I'll let you play the idealist; I, the realist.
God. Has it really been almost a year since SWUUSI?
I just got back from mississippi where I had to watch my parents and aunt and uncle divide up my grandparents things and start figuring out how to sell the house. "When you are gone, they will go through your books. They will tear up your home by the strings of their memories."
Being around people in a nursing home will quickly make you think about the relationship between your body and mind. It seems impressive to me that when I am upset or lonely or guilty, my conscious brain can basically cause all my cells to change, for my intestines to function differently, for my chest to hurt. I guess I am so used to being almost a stranger in my own body, where I sort of bumble around trying to satiate all these pieces of me and I hang out up in my brain just feeling isolated a lot of the time. It's interesting to know you can do something more to your body than just maneuver its muscles.
I listened to a lot of music and thought a lot while driving to MS and back, but I realized I just haven't found music yet that sounds the way it does in my heart.
College has really been bothering me lately, and this immediate need to figure out what I'm going to do and where I'm going to go. Especially with dad breathing down my neck and making half-joking comments about how I won't get in to any colleges just is making me more anxious. I must remember that its not going to be the end of the world if I make a mistake; I have to keep telling myself that.
The world will be different, but I am hopeful, I really am. I think it will be/(is) beautiful, but I must be patient. I'll let you play the idealist; I, the realist.
God. Has it really been almost a year since SWUUSI?