Fic Posting: By Any Other Name
Title: "By Any Other Name" for Prompt 03 - Midnight @ kurohedonism
Author: poetenchantress [Formerly bloodypoetgirl
Rating: OT
Words: 4,868
Characters: Sebastian/Ciel
Series: Anime II
Spoilers: Even though it's set in the second season of the anime I don't think it contains spoilers.
Summary: Ciel is having nightmares or are they more than that? Sebastian being the dutiful butler he does what he can to help Ciel find his way back to sleep. Or rather he tries, he was never counting on Ciel asking those questions.
Warnings: Implications of Ciel's abuse from Season One, Wing Kink - a butchering of religion and pulling things from the air and my personal head canon. I don't mean to offend anyone with my religious references and if I mess up the facts I apologize. The title is a "Romeo and Juliet" reference, couldn't resist.
The manor was still and silent, save for the sound of the ticking of a distant grandfather clock and the butler’s own footfalls. It was well past dusk, the world swathed in a blanket of darkness and shadows, broken intermittently by silvery light from the moon and its smaller distant companions as the clouds drifted. He stood once again outside of his Master’s room scowling at the door.
He needed no lights to navigate this place and he didn’t have to be psychic to know what was going on behind the door. Even with the heavy wood between them and before that the entirety of the manor’s vast expanse he could feel Ciel’s distress, pulsing radiating in his own body, centering from the mark of their contract on the back of his hand. He silently opened the door, unsurprised by what he found in his young master’s bed.
The teenager lay in the bed tossing turning, struggling feebly against unseen foes; or perhaps the blankets he’d tangled and ensnared himself with thanks to his wild movements. Sounds left parted lips; ragged breaths were only broken by sharp gasps, pants and muffled mutterings. His skin was dampened by sweat, slick and clammy - the room reeked of fear and desperation, of anger, helplessness, and despair.
Ciel jolted upright in the bed, his chest raising and falling at an alarming rate that sent spikes of pain through him. Wildly he peered about the darkened room a hand pressed against his chest as he willed his heart to slow, his breathing to ease and his mind to stop racing. His eyes scanned the room from left to right, searching seeking.
He swallowed a scream when the candelabra on the bedside table came to life to reveal Sebastian standing there, a match in hand. The jolt of fear that had hit him first gave way to a strange mix of relief and anger. Relief that Sebastian was still here and what he had dreamed was nothing but a dream and anger that Sebastian would see him in such a weak, childish state for some reason he couldn’t or perhaps wouldn’t define, he cared what the demon thought of him.
“They’re becoming more frequent aren’t they?” Sebastian inquired, but it wasn’t really a question at all. It never was. He moved to toss the match into the fire and moved to fetch the water pitcher and basin. He helped Ciel from the bed untangling the boy’s limbs gently from their linen prison. Ciel’s only answer was a soft little sound, a hum of agreement nothing more.
This was such a common event of their nighttime that Sebastian had to down to an art. First, there was waking Ciel which the dreams normally did for him. Then washing the sweat away and changing his bedding and sleepwear; there would be tea and Sebastian would once again remain til Ciel fell to sleep once more - if he did. Tonight, seemed to be one of the nights that Ciel would not be going back to sleep.
Ciel did little than stand and let Sebastian attend him. He closed his tired eyes as his face and neck were bathed with cool water once his nightshirt was drawn away. His exposed skin, arms and chest were bathed and after a moment he opened his eyes watching Sebastian do it. Watched those gloveless hands move the rag over his body and a dry one followed drying him off before he was dressed in a fresh nightshirt. He moved away from the bed to curl up on the trunk at the foot of the bed watching Sebastian strip away the bedding.
He knew what would come next. Sebastian would take the old bedding downstairs after remaking the bed and letting him get settled in it. He would come back up with some tea that would help Ciel calm and take a seat in the chair that was in the room from the many times his father had sat at his mother’s side while ill. He watched the demon silently, eyes narrowing. Things were strange lately.
There were things Sebastian spoke of that he didn’t know couldn’t remember and his demon seemed to delight in dodging his questions. He hated that, that smug look on Sebastian’s face, the way his brows moved making his face the perfect mask of the emotion he was expected to show and his fingers seemed to gravitate towards his lips when he was feeding Ciel some inexact-truth.
Sebastian had the new bedding in place and adjusted the pillows in their new cases. He even placed Ciel’s pistol back in place. Once he was finished he turned to Ciel and helped him into the bed, happily ignoring the intense look on his face that was aimed right at him. He tucked Ciel in with great care and bundled up the sweat dampened linens and bowed to the newly settled Earl. “I will return shortly with your tea-”
“You will return with my tea and you’ll answer my questions until I am satisfied.”
Sebastian arched a brow when Ciel’s voice cut out his own words and there was a faint tug to his lips. “If that is your wish, young master.” He bowed nodding his head slightly. He straightened, turning on his heel as he made for the bedroom door and down into the dark heart of the eerily silent manor.
Ciel huffed and crossed his arms over his chest sitting up in the bed. Damned right it was his wish. Did Sebastian forget who was in change here? He rubbed at his eye with his fist. Now was the time to ask all the questions he wanted to ask. Maybe his memory was faulty but he could have sworn he’d seen Sebastian with wings but everything he’d read regarding demons didn’t give them wings like those.
According to all his research they were supposed to be of leather or scales; hard, unpleasant to the touch and sinister. They made no mention of the wings being actual, honest to goodness feathers. But had they real or had he imagined it? He frowned as uncertainty and doubt began prickling at him. He toyed with the silver and sapphire ring on his thumb, fingers sliding over the smooth strangely warm surface.
Sebastian came back in carrying the tea tray. He paused at the bedside table and shifted things around a bit before putting it down gently filing the delicate china cup for Ciel and holding it out to him. He had noticed Ciel’s increasing fixation with the ring and it made his lips curve into a smirk. Of course he would become more aware of it after what had happened.
The demon had done his best to keep Ciel from certain things but it seemed that the game of sweeping it all under the rug was at an end. It was a pity really because he was devastatingly good at playing this game for years with his humans. However, there was a time when the game had to change - that and simply put he was becoming bored with it. He cleared his throat to garner Ciel’s attention away from that shiny blue bauble. “Your tea, young master.”
Ciel took the tea from him but didn’t drink it. He set it aside listening to the sound the china made against the bedside table. It was loud in the tense silence that had come after Sebastian’s words. It resounded and echoed like a gunshot in a pitch black London alleyway. He frowned and let his teeth bite into the inside of his cheek before he gave his head a shake. He watched Sebastian take his seat in the chair and focused on him. The demon was perfectly calm and he hated him for it.
He thought a long hard moment before sitting up a little straighter, after all this was a serious conversation. “Sebastian, do you have wings?” Might as well start with that, He could work around the other questions he had built up from there. There were many, so many. He had been having flickers and flashes of things in his head; images, voices, even unexplained emotions. All from things he didn’t really remember, that didn’t fit in anywhere with what he knew was true but strangely they felt so real, so right.
Sebastian arched a brow at Ciel. This certainly wasn’t the question he expected. He had expected the young earl to ask him why Madam Red hadn’t be visiting and disturbing him from his work. Just what shattered fragments of the whole did Ciel remember? It could become problematic if Ciel remembered anything of the battle with Ash or any of the time after it until now. There would be too many questions to answer that no bending of the truth could ever hope to cover.
Being bound by their contract, even if it was technically over, to never lie took that option away. He was bound even now so long as Ciel’s soul remained in his possession, it was in effect until Sebastian stripped every last bit away; he had always liked playing with his food if it was entertaining. All that was left to him was being cunningly vague or the truth. He was certain that neither he nor Ciel were ready for that just yet. “I do but I don’t believe the young master has seen them.” That was the truth; he had really believed that Ciel’s eyes had been closed that entire time. Now he knew otherwise.
Ciel watched him closely. “They’re not formed of leather or scales as one would expect from hell spawn. They’re made of feathers aren’t they? Black feathers, but they’re not just black are they?” He didn’t let Sebastian answer, these questions were rhetorical; after all, Ciel knew the answers. “They’re not a flat black. They’re a living black, like ink - no like a midnight sky; a black with shifting shades of silvery white, charcoal grey, and various blues that shift with every movement.” Ciel’s eyes had drifted closed as he pulled that image to the forefront of his mind.
Yes. The wings were there just as he described and then there was leather tight form fitting leather from shoulder to foot, all the way down to the wicked heels of the demon‘s boots. His eyes drifted open and he could feel himself falling away from the world - away from Sebastian. He didn’t cry out but the fear hit him full on and he felt his chest seize up, his words locked away behind his lips as his air remained painfully trapped in his lungs. He trembled for a moment before he forced the feeling away and he calmed. “Why are they different?”
Sebastian listened to Ciel intently. The petite earl was right on all counts. His wings were not typical or what was expected of a demon. Not that he was just any average demon. “I never implied that my wings were different, young master.” It wasn’t a lie nor was it the truth the young earl sought. He wasn’t sure what to tell him or how much so he settled for the simple statement and a slight shrug of his shoulders.
Ciel narrowed his eyes at him. “And I know they’re not. Do not toy with me, Sebastian.” He tossed back the covers moving to sit at the edge of the bed fixing mix-matched eyes on the demon scowling. “I order you to tell me the truth - every truth to the questions I ask.” His voice came out firm and stern, obviously the boy was frustrated and had had far more than enough. “Now then, why are they different?”
“Yes, My Lord.” Sebastian felt a shiver down his spine at that order. So he was getting serious now? He felt the back of his hand throb and tingle in response to the order and he knew his eyes were bleeding that vivid fuchsia color rather than crimson. “They’re different because I am no mere demon; in fact, to call me just demon is something of an insult.”
Ciel’s laughter was muffled by his fist but it still filtered out. A human insulting a demon by simply calling it what it was, impossible! How absolutely ridiculous! Did Sebastian really expect him to believe this nonsense? Apparently so and he was ordered specifically not to lie, did that make this truth? That made the laughter fade and he turned serious again. Of course, he had heard that Lucifer was the ruler of hell but he never came across much else.
“Well then, Sebastian, tell me about who you were before you came to me that night.” He shivered slightly with the icy chill that traveled down his spine just at the thought of that night. The cold slab of marble under his bruised and broken body, those filthy calloused hands; seeking, groping, yanking - pulling, pulling and pinning him down like a butterfly upon display. He fought back the bitter taste of bile and reached for his tea hoping to drink the taste and those dark thoughts away.
“The demonic world has its own set of rankings or hierarchy. Just this like mortal world of yours we too have kings, princes, dukes and marquises. Don’t tell me you thought humans came up with that all on their own.” The demon gestured a hand dismissively. “I have a very long history before I came to you. I fear you’re going to have to be a good deal more specific, least we have this conversation for years.”
“I have served kings and queens even before the days they were called such things. Many a common man and maid have fallen victim to my charms or their desires that I can make real. I have traveled the world and seen things you couldn’t even imagine in your most wild day dreams. I’ve caused chaos and devastation on a grand scale.”
Ciel rolled his eyes at that. So Sebastian was older than dirt, was he supposed to be surprised? Or did he want to sit down and recount second for second his entire lifetime? He shook his head at his demon. “No. I don’t want a master by master account. I want you to start at the beginning with WHO you are. I know you have to have a name, to have begun somewhere; that is what I want to know.”
Sebastian peered at him and smirked. “Ah, the beginning, I see. I apologize for misunderstanding, young master.” He sat back in the chair making himself comfortable. After all this was a very, very long story and it would surely take some time to tell it. “In the beginning there was nothing you’ve ever seen but black. No Heaven or Hell, No life or death, No moon or stars. Nothing existed but the vast blackness and the Creator.”
Ciel almost choked on his tea. He managed to swallow what was in his mouth rather than spit it out. He set his cup down on the bedside table with an annoyed expression. “Sebastian! That isn’t what I meant at all and you know it.” He snapped, scowling before crossing his arms over his chest. “I know how the world began. I know all about it before the fire, that night… I knew God.”
“I knew God and was one of his beloved children, favored and protected by his radiant light.” He took a deep breath. “But that was then and he has since forsaken me, and I him. What I want to know, demon, is who you were before me. How you became a demon, what your name was, why you were there that night.”
He moved his hands uncurling the fists smoothing out his blankets. “That is the beginning I speak of and not any other.”
The demon smiled as only a demon can really. “Yes, I know all about how you renounced God. After all He wasn’t there to help you was He? Of course, not and that made Him useless to you.” Sebastian gestured with his hand towards the drawer of the small table where he knew Rachel’s now unused but much loved bible lie. “Given your upbringing I’m sure you know of Hell of demons and fallen angels, yes?” He didn’t wait for the nod he knew was coming.
“The texts that humans pass about say that the Fallen warred in Heaven against the father of us all. The Father could not destroy what He had made, no matter how they disgraced heaven and betrayed Him - His love was so unconditional that rather than simple unmake those who were rebel and disobedient to Him. He cast then down into the inferno, to the depths of Hell.” Sebastian closed his eyes. “But that’s not entirely the truth of it, merely a small piece of the whole.”
“There were demons there already, failed creations that were unworthy for His grand vision. Those angels who were banished due to the Great War, very few of them survived the conflict with these unwanted things. They warred in Hell and soon the Fallen claimed the depths in triumph.” He paused to peer at Ciel and seeing the Earl’s transfixed expression he continued.
“Since the Fallen had triumphed over the demons they saw themselves to be the demons betters. Recalling the Heavenly hierarchy they dubbed themselves according to their former roles. Archangels became Kings and so on and so forth. ” A gloved hand twitched slightly and he scowled. “But God is a jealous envious creature at His very core. There are more ways to be cast out of Heaven than instigating an uprising. If an angel dares to place anything or anyone above God they’re given a choice.”
Ciel’s voice was small in the silence that had come over them. He wanted to hear the rest. It was like a bedtime story when he was younger. He always would, and sitting up excited and expectant and now he was staring at Sebastian the way he had his parents demanding more. He had never dared to question such things but these past years had changed him. He had seen charming demons and knew that there was so much more out there than just God and his angels.
“A choice? What kind of choice?” He prompted gently when Sebastian’s words weren’t forthcoming. He bit back a childish whine of impatience. “Sebastian?” He arched a brow at the other’s stony silence. He snapped his fingers but still got no response save for the demon closing his eyes. He frowned and pouted, before curling his fists in the blankets. He moved pushing and kicking the sheets, coverlet and quilt aside.
He slid from the bed bare feet touching the polished flooring. He moved to Sebastian and reached placing one hand on top of Sebastian’s gloved hands the other lightly touching his cheek his thumb rubbing just under his eye. “Don’t stop now. I want to know how the story ends.” He moved closer still pausing right at the arm of the chair standing beside him.
Sebastian leaned into the touch on his face his eyes snapping open. “If an angel puts someone above God, if they love something more than their Creator it becomes a question of staying in Paradise and renouncing those feelings or forsaking Heaven and God to fall down to Hell. There is no going back not even for an instant. Not many would shame Heaven for something that wouldn‘t last more than a handful of decades as I have.” A gloved hand curled about Ciel’s small wrist and pulled.
“What do you think you’re doing, Sebastian?” Ciel demanded gripping the arm of the chair in an effort to stop being pulled closer. He didn’t want to be closer. That’s what his mind screamed. He wanted no show of affection from Sebastian. Anyone - everyone he dared to care for ended up getting hurt and anyone who cared for him was likely to be dead in the end. That was not what he wanted for Sebastian. “Sebastian!”
“One doesn’t hesitate, cannot hesitate. Isn’t that what you always say? Isn’t that how you live your life, your grand game, young master? The first answer we come to is often the truest and closest to the heart.” He smirked, pushing all those bad memories aside. This was a second chance, or rather a third and so far he hadn’t lost Ciel yet.
“I’m making a choice.” He merely stood and scooped Ciel up. Yes, he was making the choice to take and claim Ciel again like he had before but this time things would be different. This time he wouldn’t let Ciel be taken from him by any force. “I want no other name than the one you have given me.” He moved with him towards the bed. “I need no other name.” He leaned down capturing Ciel’s mouth with his own in a deep fierce kiss.
Ciel stared at him. Sebastian was off his nut, completely. Dimly Ciel wondered if he should have Sebastian committed to an asylum. He struggled wiggling a little in Sebastian’s arms. “And this is not a chess game or about my life.” Since when did a demon take life advice from a human anyway? Let alone a human child for that matter?
“I didn’t give you a choice!” He snapped. “I gave you an order, Sebastian.” For all of his anger he couldn’t help the tiny jolt of pleasure that ran through him at Sebastian’s words. The anger was starting defuse and turn into something else. His heart was racing in his chest, beating so hard, so loud that he was sure his demon could hear it. “Sebast- mmph!” His eyes widened in shock when that mouth came down over his own.
He stiffened but something, some strange sensation came over him. Instead of struggling to get out of Sebastian’s arms he was wrapping his arms about the demon’s neck, pressing closer as he clumsily attempted to kiss him back. Ciel would find that Sebastian tasted of spice and something a little bitter but still pleasant, like cinnamon and dark chocolate. Ciel liked that, hazily before all thought was gone he wondered if he could make that taste something real that he could devour like candy.
Sebastian slipped his tongue into Ciel’s mouth, exploring tasting savoring. Contrary to what he would have expected Ciel’s mouth didn’t taste overly sweet, he could taste chocolate and the faint tart of a fruit, perhaps strawberries. He laid Ciel back on the bed amid his pillowed before pulling back to allow Ciel to breathe.
A hand reached out brushing the young earl’s charcoal hair away from his eyes. Sebastian found himself peering down into those eyes, sapphire and amethyst, feeling the need to tell Ciel everything about who he was and how he was there. He wanted to confess his feelings and tell him the truth about their contract being completed, to beg forgiveness for his sin of selfishness. “I may not be the angel that I was then and my name may have changed many times since that day, but from this day until the end of all things, I will be your Sebastian and you will be my Ciel.”
Ciel found himself on his back in the bed trembling, his left hand fisted in the back of Sebastian’s suit coat. He was panting softly, his eyes half open and glazed over with newly awakened longings that he could feel alive like a fire under his skin. There were things his body wanted and it was sending so many deliciously wicked thoughts to his mind that he thought his head might explode.
His face was flushed with heat and his cheeks were a bright shade of pink. How undignified he must look, he mused to himself, and yet he couldn’t really bring himself to care. Ciel Phantomhive did not pant, nor did he blush and he certainly didn’t kiss his butler either but he had. He did. He wanted to again. Sebastian’s words prompted a smile from Ciel, a genuine smile - the first in years. He moved to sit up bracing himself with his hand, his other hand slid and tugged sharply at Sebastian’s tie jerking him down into a kiss.
He drew away after a moment, licking his lips. “You do taste good.” He stared up at his demon. “I won’t make you tell me anything more yet but I do have two more things I want from you.” He began working at Sebastian’s tie. He couldn’t tie them to save his soul but Ciel was an expert at making a mess of his clothes so removing them would be easy for him. “I want to see your wings.” He whispered breathlessly. “To see them and touch them, I need to know they’re real.”
Now it was Sebastian’s turn to be surprised. He kissed Ciel back and let him work the tie free. “If that is your wish, young master.” He moved away leaving the tie in Ciel’s hands. He worked his suit coat off, folding it and setting it aside. His vest and shirt were soon to follow. Stepping from his shoes he climbed back into the bed, looming over Ciel straddling his waist. He closed his eyes arching his back. He hissed softly in pain and there was a faint popping sound. Then a muffled cry left Sebastian as he curled his hands into the bedding on either side of his master.
Feathers, some small others large fell around them from the wings bursting out. There they were, just as Ciel had envisioned. He stared at Sebastian then reached up attentively placing his hand against the feathers. “They’re so soft.” He breathed feeling the feathers of the wings. Strangely they moved under his touch just like the muscles of Sebastian‘s neck moved under the fingertips of his other hand. “So you really were an angel.” He pressed his hand against the wings curiously exploring between the feathers.
Sebastian gave a low moan and bowed his head, a soft pant escaping parted lips. “I was yes. I was called Samael then. After I fell I had another name, changing names became a habit when I left Hell. I couldn’t go around telling humans my true name after all, so I began to let the humans name me, after departed family, lost loves. I was happy to be a replacement for those most precious and now I‘m here with you as you too have named me and given me a new life.”
Ciel arched a brow at the sound. He had never heard Sebastian make such a sound. He moved his hand up trialing along his wing following the sweeping curve of it to his back between his shoulder blades. He was amused to find the closer to the base the more interesting Sebastian’s sounds got. He teased and stroked with his fingers. “Whoever you might have been doesn’t matter. You’re mine until the contract ends and our business is finished.”
Sebastian hid his face, bangs falling over his eyes. His hands dug at the bedding and he shivered, trembling above Ciel. “Young Master, you must stop that. I’m certain you don’t want to deal with the effect that your touch is having on this human body.” He swallowed hard bite back the fact that it was finished. He didn’t want to tell him just yet. “That is correct until the end when your soul consumed, I am your faithful and loyal servant.” It wasn’t a lie; he had yet to consume Ciel’s soul after all.
Ciel was very pleased with this. All of it pleased him greatly, so greatly in fact that he couldn‘t stop smiling. He seemed to consider Sebastian’s words a moment. He didn’t want to deal with the effect his touch was having on his Sebastian? That wasn’t true at all. He was quite interested in handling that effect and causing it much more often.
“Now for my second request, you‘re to spend the night with me, Sebastian, I find myself wanting to see how this game of cause and effect ends.” He was going to delight in seeing how long it took until Sebastian’s control snapped.
Sebastian shivered and swallowed hard only to smirk to himself in the dimly lit room. He motioned a hand at the candle and the room went dark. He knew he was leaving Ciel with questions. Sebastian also knew he’d have to answer them and deal with whatever came of it but for the night at least, Ciel was completely his and for the moment that was more than enough. Perhaps the third time was a charm.
He leaned his lips brushing against the sensitive shell of Ciel’s ear. His voice had taken on a truly wicked tone that reminded one of the feel of warm leather brushing, caressing against skin, of silks, satins and velvets enfolding and stroking - of darkest nights and moonlight skies. It spoke of promises and lust, desires and needs, of sins that were waiting, longing to be committed. “Yes, my lord.”
Author: poetenchantress [Formerly bloodypoetgirl
Rating: OT
Words: 4,868
Characters: Sebastian/Ciel
Series: Anime II
Spoilers: Even though it's set in the second season of the anime I don't think it contains spoilers.
Summary: Ciel is having nightmares or are they more than that? Sebastian being the dutiful butler he does what he can to help Ciel find his way back to sleep. Or rather he tries, he was never counting on Ciel asking those questions.
Warnings: Implications of Ciel's abuse from Season One, Wing Kink - a butchering of religion and pulling things from the air and my personal head canon. I don't mean to offend anyone with my religious references and if I mess up the facts I apologize. The title is a "Romeo and Juliet" reference, couldn't resist.
The manor was still and silent, save for the sound of the ticking of a distant grandfather clock and the butler’s own footfalls. It was well past dusk, the world swathed in a blanket of darkness and shadows, broken intermittently by silvery light from the moon and its smaller distant companions as the clouds drifted. He stood once again outside of his Master’s room scowling at the door.
He needed no lights to navigate this place and he didn’t have to be psychic to know what was going on behind the door. Even with the heavy wood between them and before that the entirety of the manor’s vast expanse he could feel Ciel’s distress, pulsing radiating in his own body, centering from the mark of their contract on the back of his hand. He silently opened the door, unsurprised by what he found in his young master’s bed.
The teenager lay in the bed tossing turning, struggling feebly against unseen foes; or perhaps the blankets he’d tangled and ensnared himself with thanks to his wild movements. Sounds left parted lips; ragged breaths were only broken by sharp gasps, pants and muffled mutterings. His skin was dampened by sweat, slick and clammy - the room reeked of fear and desperation, of anger, helplessness, and despair.
Ciel jolted upright in the bed, his chest raising and falling at an alarming rate that sent spikes of pain through him. Wildly he peered about the darkened room a hand pressed against his chest as he willed his heart to slow, his breathing to ease and his mind to stop racing. His eyes scanned the room from left to right, searching seeking.
He swallowed a scream when the candelabra on the bedside table came to life to reveal Sebastian standing there, a match in hand. The jolt of fear that had hit him first gave way to a strange mix of relief and anger. Relief that Sebastian was still here and what he had dreamed was nothing but a dream and anger that Sebastian would see him in such a weak, childish state for some reason he couldn’t or perhaps wouldn’t define, he cared what the demon thought of him.
“They’re becoming more frequent aren’t they?” Sebastian inquired, but it wasn’t really a question at all. It never was. He moved to toss the match into the fire and moved to fetch the water pitcher and basin. He helped Ciel from the bed untangling the boy’s limbs gently from their linen prison. Ciel’s only answer was a soft little sound, a hum of agreement nothing more.
This was such a common event of their nighttime that Sebastian had to down to an art. First, there was waking Ciel which the dreams normally did for him. Then washing the sweat away and changing his bedding and sleepwear; there would be tea and Sebastian would once again remain til Ciel fell to sleep once more - if he did. Tonight, seemed to be one of the nights that Ciel would not be going back to sleep.
Ciel did little than stand and let Sebastian attend him. He closed his tired eyes as his face and neck were bathed with cool water once his nightshirt was drawn away. His exposed skin, arms and chest were bathed and after a moment he opened his eyes watching Sebastian do it. Watched those gloveless hands move the rag over his body and a dry one followed drying him off before he was dressed in a fresh nightshirt. He moved away from the bed to curl up on the trunk at the foot of the bed watching Sebastian strip away the bedding.
He knew what would come next. Sebastian would take the old bedding downstairs after remaking the bed and letting him get settled in it. He would come back up with some tea that would help Ciel calm and take a seat in the chair that was in the room from the many times his father had sat at his mother’s side while ill. He watched the demon silently, eyes narrowing. Things were strange lately.
There were things Sebastian spoke of that he didn’t know couldn’t remember and his demon seemed to delight in dodging his questions. He hated that, that smug look on Sebastian’s face, the way his brows moved making his face the perfect mask of the emotion he was expected to show and his fingers seemed to gravitate towards his lips when he was feeding Ciel some inexact-truth.
Sebastian had the new bedding in place and adjusted the pillows in their new cases. He even placed Ciel’s pistol back in place. Once he was finished he turned to Ciel and helped him into the bed, happily ignoring the intense look on his face that was aimed right at him. He tucked Ciel in with great care and bundled up the sweat dampened linens and bowed to the newly settled Earl. “I will return shortly with your tea-”
“You will return with my tea and you’ll answer my questions until I am satisfied.”
Sebastian arched a brow when Ciel’s voice cut out his own words and there was a faint tug to his lips. “If that is your wish, young master.” He bowed nodding his head slightly. He straightened, turning on his heel as he made for the bedroom door and down into the dark heart of the eerily silent manor.
Ciel huffed and crossed his arms over his chest sitting up in the bed. Damned right it was his wish. Did Sebastian forget who was in change here? He rubbed at his eye with his fist. Now was the time to ask all the questions he wanted to ask. Maybe his memory was faulty but he could have sworn he’d seen Sebastian with wings but everything he’d read regarding demons didn’t give them wings like those.
According to all his research they were supposed to be of leather or scales; hard, unpleasant to the touch and sinister. They made no mention of the wings being actual, honest to goodness feathers. But had they real or had he imagined it? He frowned as uncertainty and doubt began prickling at him. He toyed with the silver and sapphire ring on his thumb, fingers sliding over the smooth strangely warm surface.
Sebastian came back in carrying the tea tray. He paused at the bedside table and shifted things around a bit before putting it down gently filing the delicate china cup for Ciel and holding it out to him. He had noticed Ciel’s increasing fixation with the ring and it made his lips curve into a smirk. Of course he would become more aware of it after what had happened.
The demon had done his best to keep Ciel from certain things but it seemed that the game of sweeping it all under the rug was at an end. It was a pity really because he was devastatingly good at playing this game for years with his humans. However, there was a time when the game had to change - that and simply put he was becoming bored with it. He cleared his throat to garner Ciel’s attention away from that shiny blue bauble. “Your tea, young master.”
Ciel took the tea from him but didn’t drink it. He set it aside listening to the sound the china made against the bedside table. It was loud in the tense silence that had come after Sebastian’s words. It resounded and echoed like a gunshot in a pitch black London alleyway. He frowned and let his teeth bite into the inside of his cheek before he gave his head a shake. He watched Sebastian take his seat in the chair and focused on him. The demon was perfectly calm and he hated him for it.
He thought a long hard moment before sitting up a little straighter, after all this was a serious conversation. “Sebastian, do you have wings?” Might as well start with that, He could work around the other questions he had built up from there. There were many, so many. He had been having flickers and flashes of things in his head; images, voices, even unexplained emotions. All from things he didn’t really remember, that didn’t fit in anywhere with what he knew was true but strangely they felt so real, so right.
Sebastian arched a brow at Ciel. This certainly wasn’t the question he expected. He had expected the young earl to ask him why Madam Red hadn’t be visiting and disturbing him from his work. Just what shattered fragments of the whole did Ciel remember? It could become problematic if Ciel remembered anything of the battle with Ash or any of the time after it until now. There would be too many questions to answer that no bending of the truth could ever hope to cover.
Being bound by their contract, even if it was technically over, to never lie took that option away. He was bound even now so long as Ciel’s soul remained in his possession, it was in effect until Sebastian stripped every last bit away; he had always liked playing with his food if it was entertaining. All that was left to him was being cunningly vague or the truth. He was certain that neither he nor Ciel were ready for that just yet. “I do but I don’t believe the young master has seen them.” That was the truth; he had really believed that Ciel’s eyes had been closed that entire time. Now he knew otherwise.
Ciel watched him closely. “They’re not formed of leather or scales as one would expect from hell spawn. They’re made of feathers aren’t they? Black feathers, but they’re not just black are they?” He didn’t let Sebastian answer, these questions were rhetorical; after all, Ciel knew the answers. “They’re not a flat black. They’re a living black, like ink - no like a midnight sky; a black with shifting shades of silvery white, charcoal grey, and various blues that shift with every movement.” Ciel’s eyes had drifted closed as he pulled that image to the forefront of his mind.
Yes. The wings were there just as he described and then there was leather tight form fitting leather from shoulder to foot, all the way down to the wicked heels of the demon‘s boots. His eyes drifted open and he could feel himself falling away from the world - away from Sebastian. He didn’t cry out but the fear hit him full on and he felt his chest seize up, his words locked away behind his lips as his air remained painfully trapped in his lungs. He trembled for a moment before he forced the feeling away and he calmed. “Why are they different?”
Sebastian listened to Ciel intently. The petite earl was right on all counts. His wings were not typical or what was expected of a demon. Not that he was just any average demon. “I never implied that my wings were different, young master.” It wasn’t a lie nor was it the truth the young earl sought. He wasn’t sure what to tell him or how much so he settled for the simple statement and a slight shrug of his shoulders.
Ciel narrowed his eyes at him. “And I know they’re not. Do not toy with me, Sebastian.” He tossed back the covers moving to sit at the edge of the bed fixing mix-matched eyes on the demon scowling. “I order you to tell me the truth - every truth to the questions I ask.” His voice came out firm and stern, obviously the boy was frustrated and had had far more than enough. “Now then, why are they different?”
“Yes, My Lord.” Sebastian felt a shiver down his spine at that order. So he was getting serious now? He felt the back of his hand throb and tingle in response to the order and he knew his eyes were bleeding that vivid fuchsia color rather than crimson. “They’re different because I am no mere demon; in fact, to call me just demon is something of an insult.”
Ciel’s laughter was muffled by his fist but it still filtered out. A human insulting a demon by simply calling it what it was, impossible! How absolutely ridiculous! Did Sebastian really expect him to believe this nonsense? Apparently so and he was ordered specifically not to lie, did that make this truth? That made the laughter fade and he turned serious again. Of course, he had heard that Lucifer was the ruler of hell but he never came across much else.
“Well then, Sebastian, tell me about who you were before you came to me that night.” He shivered slightly with the icy chill that traveled down his spine just at the thought of that night. The cold slab of marble under his bruised and broken body, those filthy calloused hands; seeking, groping, yanking - pulling, pulling and pinning him down like a butterfly upon display. He fought back the bitter taste of bile and reached for his tea hoping to drink the taste and those dark thoughts away.
“The demonic world has its own set of rankings or hierarchy. Just this like mortal world of yours we too have kings, princes, dukes and marquises. Don’t tell me you thought humans came up with that all on their own.” The demon gestured a hand dismissively. “I have a very long history before I came to you. I fear you’re going to have to be a good deal more specific, least we have this conversation for years.”
“I have served kings and queens even before the days they were called such things. Many a common man and maid have fallen victim to my charms or their desires that I can make real. I have traveled the world and seen things you couldn’t even imagine in your most wild day dreams. I’ve caused chaos and devastation on a grand scale.”
Ciel rolled his eyes at that. So Sebastian was older than dirt, was he supposed to be surprised? Or did he want to sit down and recount second for second his entire lifetime? He shook his head at his demon. “No. I don’t want a master by master account. I want you to start at the beginning with WHO you are. I know you have to have a name, to have begun somewhere; that is what I want to know.”
Sebastian peered at him and smirked. “Ah, the beginning, I see. I apologize for misunderstanding, young master.” He sat back in the chair making himself comfortable. After all this was a very, very long story and it would surely take some time to tell it. “In the beginning there was nothing you’ve ever seen but black. No Heaven or Hell, No life or death, No moon or stars. Nothing existed but the vast blackness and the Creator.”
Ciel almost choked on his tea. He managed to swallow what was in his mouth rather than spit it out. He set his cup down on the bedside table with an annoyed expression. “Sebastian! That isn’t what I meant at all and you know it.” He snapped, scowling before crossing his arms over his chest. “I know how the world began. I know all about it before the fire, that night… I knew God.”
“I knew God and was one of his beloved children, favored and protected by his radiant light.” He took a deep breath. “But that was then and he has since forsaken me, and I him. What I want to know, demon, is who you were before me. How you became a demon, what your name was, why you were there that night.”
He moved his hands uncurling the fists smoothing out his blankets. “That is the beginning I speak of and not any other.”
The demon smiled as only a demon can really. “Yes, I know all about how you renounced God. After all He wasn’t there to help you was He? Of course, not and that made Him useless to you.” Sebastian gestured with his hand towards the drawer of the small table where he knew Rachel’s now unused but much loved bible lie. “Given your upbringing I’m sure you know of Hell of demons and fallen angels, yes?” He didn’t wait for the nod he knew was coming.
“The texts that humans pass about say that the Fallen warred in Heaven against the father of us all. The Father could not destroy what He had made, no matter how they disgraced heaven and betrayed Him - His love was so unconditional that rather than simple unmake those who were rebel and disobedient to Him. He cast then down into the inferno, to the depths of Hell.” Sebastian closed his eyes. “But that’s not entirely the truth of it, merely a small piece of the whole.”
“There were demons there already, failed creations that were unworthy for His grand vision. Those angels who were banished due to the Great War, very few of them survived the conflict with these unwanted things. They warred in Hell and soon the Fallen claimed the depths in triumph.” He paused to peer at Ciel and seeing the Earl’s transfixed expression he continued.
“Since the Fallen had triumphed over the demons they saw themselves to be the demons betters. Recalling the Heavenly hierarchy they dubbed themselves according to their former roles. Archangels became Kings and so on and so forth. ” A gloved hand twitched slightly and he scowled. “But God is a jealous envious creature at His very core. There are more ways to be cast out of Heaven than instigating an uprising. If an angel dares to place anything or anyone above God they’re given a choice.”
Ciel’s voice was small in the silence that had come over them. He wanted to hear the rest. It was like a bedtime story when he was younger. He always would, and sitting up excited and expectant and now he was staring at Sebastian the way he had his parents demanding more. He had never dared to question such things but these past years had changed him. He had seen charming demons and knew that there was so much more out there than just God and his angels.
“A choice? What kind of choice?” He prompted gently when Sebastian’s words weren’t forthcoming. He bit back a childish whine of impatience. “Sebastian?” He arched a brow at the other’s stony silence. He snapped his fingers but still got no response save for the demon closing his eyes. He frowned and pouted, before curling his fists in the blankets. He moved pushing and kicking the sheets, coverlet and quilt aside.
He slid from the bed bare feet touching the polished flooring. He moved to Sebastian and reached placing one hand on top of Sebastian’s gloved hands the other lightly touching his cheek his thumb rubbing just under his eye. “Don’t stop now. I want to know how the story ends.” He moved closer still pausing right at the arm of the chair standing beside him.
Sebastian leaned into the touch on his face his eyes snapping open. “If an angel puts someone above God, if they love something more than their Creator it becomes a question of staying in Paradise and renouncing those feelings or forsaking Heaven and God to fall down to Hell. There is no going back not even for an instant. Not many would shame Heaven for something that wouldn‘t last more than a handful of decades as I have.” A gloved hand curled about Ciel’s small wrist and pulled.
“What do you think you’re doing, Sebastian?” Ciel demanded gripping the arm of the chair in an effort to stop being pulled closer. He didn’t want to be closer. That’s what his mind screamed. He wanted no show of affection from Sebastian. Anyone - everyone he dared to care for ended up getting hurt and anyone who cared for him was likely to be dead in the end. That was not what he wanted for Sebastian. “Sebastian!”
“One doesn’t hesitate, cannot hesitate. Isn’t that what you always say? Isn’t that how you live your life, your grand game, young master? The first answer we come to is often the truest and closest to the heart.” He smirked, pushing all those bad memories aside. This was a second chance, or rather a third and so far he hadn’t lost Ciel yet.
“I’m making a choice.” He merely stood and scooped Ciel up. Yes, he was making the choice to take and claim Ciel again like he had before but this time things would be different. This time he wouldn’t let Ciel be taken from him by any force. “I want no other name than the one you have given me.” He moved with him towards the bed. “I need no other name.” He leaned down capturing Ciel’s mouth with his own in a deep fierce kiss.
Ciel stared at him. Sebastian was off his nut, completely. Dimly Ciel wondered if he should have Sebastian committed to an asylum. He struggled wiggling a little in Sebastian’s arms. “And this is not a chess game or about my life.” Since when did a demon take life advice from a human anyway? Let alone a human child for that matter?
“I didn’t give you a choice!” He snapped. “I gave you an order, Sebastian.” For all of his anger he couldn’t help the tiny jolt of pleasure that ran through him at Sebastian’s words. The anger was starting defuse and turn into something else. His heart was racing in his chest, beating so hard, so loud that he was sure his demon could hear it. “Sebast- mmph!” His eyes widened in shock when that mouth came down over his own.
He stiffened but something, some strange sensation came over him. Instead of struggling to get out of Sebastian’s arms he was wrapping his arms about the demon’s neck, pressing closer as he clumsily attempted to kiss him back. Ciel would find that Sebastian tasted of spice and something a little bitter but still pleasant, like cinnamon and dark chocolate. Ciel liked that, hazily before all thought was gone he wondered if he could make that taste something real that he could devour like candy.
Sebastian slipped his tongue into Ciel’s mouth, exploring tasting savoring. Contrary to what he would have expected Ciel’s mouth didn’t taste overly sweet, he could taste chocolate and the faint tart of a fruit, perhaps strawberries. He laid Ciel back on the bed amid his pillowed before pulling back to allow Ciel to breathe.
A hand reached out brushing the young earl’s charcoal hair away from his eyes. Sebastian found himself peering down into those eyes, sapphire and amethyst, feeling the need to tell Ciel everything about who he was and how he was there. He wanted to confess his feelings and tell him the truth about their contract being completed, to beg forgiveness for his sin of selfishness. “I may not be the angel that I was then and my name may have changed many times since that day, but from this day until the end of all things, I will be your Sebastian and you will be my Ciel.”
Ciel found himself on his back in the bed trembling, his left hand fisted in the back of Sebastian’s suit coat. He was panting softly, his eyes half open and glazed over with newly awakened longings that he could feel alive like a fire under his skin. There were things his body wanted and it was sending so many deliciously wicked thoughts to his mind that he thought his head might explode.
His face was flushed with heat and his cheeks were a bright shade of pink. How undignified he must look, he mused to himself, and yet he couldn’t really bring himself to care. Ciel Phantomhive did not pant, nor did he blush and he certainly didn’t kiss his butler either but he had. He did. He wanted to again. Sebastian’s words prompted a smile from Ciel, a genuine smile - the first in years. He moved to sit up bracing himself with his hand, his other hand slid and tugged sharply at Sebastian’s tie jerking him down into a kiss.
He drew away after a moment, licking his lips. “You do taste good.” He stared up at his demon. “I won’t make you tell me anything more yet but I do have two more things I want from you.” He began working at Sebastian’s tie. He couldn’t tie them to save his soul but Ciel was an expert at making a mess of his clothes so removing them would be easy for him. “I want to see your wings.” He whispered breathlessly. “To see them and touch them, I need to know they’re real.”
Now it was Sebastian’s turn to be surprised. He kissed Ciel back and let him work the tie free. “If that is your wish, young master.” He moved away leaving the tie in Ciel’s hands. He worked his suit coat off, folding it and setting it aside. His vest and shirt were soon to follow. Stepping from his shoes he climbed back into the bed, looming over Ciel straddling his waist. He closed his eyes arching his back. He hissed softly in pain and there was a faint popping sound. Then a muffled cry left Sebastian as he curled his hands into the bedding on either side of his master.
Feathers, some small others large fell around them from the wings bursting out. There they were, just as Ciel had envisioned. He stared at Sebastian then reached up attentively placing his hand against the feathers. “They’re so soft.” He breathed feeling the feathers of the wings. Strangely they moved under his touch just like the muscles of Sebastian‘s neck moved under the fingertips of his other hand. “So you really were an angel.” He pressed his hand against the wings curiously exploring between the feathers.
Sebastian gave a low moan and bowed his head, a soft pant escaping parted lips. “I was yes. I was called Samael then. After I fell I had another name, changing names became a habit when I left Hell. I couldn’t go around telling humans my true name after all, so I began to let the humans name me, after departed family, lost loves. I was happy to be a replacement for those most precious and now I‘m here with you as you too have named me and given me a new life.”
Ciel arched a brow at the sound. He had never heard Sebastian make such a sound. He moved his hand up trialing along his wing following the sweeping curve of it to his back between his shoulder blades. He was amused to find the closer to the base the more interesting Sebastian’s sounds got. He teased and stroked with his fingers. “Whoever you might have been doesn’t matter. You’re mine until the contract ends and our business is finished.”
Sebastian hid his face, bangs falling over his eyes. His hands dug at the bedding and he shivered, trembling above Ciel. “Young Master, you must stop that. I’m certain you don’t want to deal with the effect that your touch is having on this human body.” He swallowed hard bite back the fact that it was finished. He didn’t want to tell him just yet. “That is correct until the end when your soul consumed, I am your faithful and loyal servant.” It wasn’t a lie; he had yet to consume Ciel’s soul after all.
Ciel was very pleased with this. All of it pleased him greatly, so greatly in fact that he couldn‘t stop smiling. He seemed to consider Sebastian’s words a moment. He didn’t want to deal with the effect his touch was having on his Sebastian? That wasn’t true at all. He was quite interested in handling that effect and causing it much more often.
“Now for my second request, you‘re to spend the night with me, Sebastian, I find myself wanting to see how this game of cause and effect ends.” He was going to delight in seeing how long it took until Sebastian’s control snapped.
Sebastian shivered and swallowed hard only to smirk to himself in the dimly lit room. He motioned a hand at the candle and the room went dark. He knew he was leaving Ciel with questions. Sebastian also knew he’d have to answer them and deal with whatever came of it but for the night at least, Ciel was completely his and for the moment that was more than enough. Perhaps the third time was a charm.
He leaned his lips brushing against the sensitive shell of Ciel’s ear. His voice had taken on a truly wicked tone that reminded one of the feel of warm leather brushing, caressing against skin, of silks, satins and velvets enfolding and stroking - of darkest nights and moonlight skies. It spoke of promises and lust, desires and needs, of sins that were waiting, longing to be committed. “Yes, my lord.”