Feb 05, 2006 17:33
Well back home now. I... all my plans all day are none are they aren't working out. The girl i was supposed to go to coffee with that I was waiting for all week couldn't, a co worker was supposed to come over and play d&d and that never happened. In my room now the light isn't on, all who is chatting with me is barraging me with questions about her problems while I am struggling with my own. My depression hit me like a wall of bricks. I nearly started crying... I haven't done that for a while. Keep playing billy talent nothing to lose. Song makes sense though, there is nothing to lose when no one knows your name. Like everyone in charlottetown, I am nearly none existant. I can't keep this fight going. the pain hurts so much. Ok came close there, but can't cry, I'm supposed to be fucking jolly old matt. No one knows how I really feel. No one knows how much it means to me that they actually want to hang out with me, but here I am all alone. Tears are close now, person is still badgering me with her barrage of questions about nothing that I can think of because my mind is wrapped around. To bad when I was walking in that snow storm, if i could of got lost for good, and burried beneath the eternal darkness. I just.... theres even a girl whos name says hat chocolate or coffee anyone and she hasn't replied to any of my messeges. like hi or hey or are you there lol. She is online. I mean am i only going to get to hang out wiyh people on my visits to summerside is that all I have to look forward to? Near tears now gonna stop girl is still questioning me about a convo from summer that I can barely remember...