Psychiatric Hospitalization
I just read a post online where a woman went on vacation and asked a friend to watch her pets. Upon returning, she found the pets nearly starved and completely covered in their own waste... when she confronted the friend about the neglect the sheriff was called. Not for the pets, for the woman. She was forced into psychiatric care, and when she was released, she was evicted because the pets were in terrible shape and apparently so was she. She had to check herself back into a hospital, and is now homeless, unemployed, and living out of her car.
Between this and the fight from a couple of days ago, I am absolutely terrified about being forced into a mental hospital. It seems to me like anything I do, no matter how innocent it seems, is just one step away from me being forced into psychiatric care. And that would mean that I could never get health insurance, go or stay on testosterone, get a gun, or do well at work or school.
It is my worst fear, that I will be forced into a mental hospital. Worse than my parents developing Alzheimer's, worse than being murdered for being trans and turning into a tabloid case, worse than anything. I am so afraid that if I don't behave exactly as I should I will be punished by being sent away, either by my parents or by the university. I worry that if my room isn't clean, a fight will start with my parents or my RA will call public safety, and that will result in legal action, and that will result in hospitalization.
Well, I have sworn to myself many a time, and I swear it now. If I am ever forced into a mental hospital, I will commit suicide. Either while I'm in or as soon as I get out. There is absolutely no point in me living if I cannot go on hormones or go to work or school or have a normal family life. There is absolutely no reason for me to live if I am ever, at any time, put under psychiatric care against my will. I am completely mentally fine now, but if I am locked up, even just ten minutes from now, I will find a way to kill myself.
Between this and the fight from a couple of days ago, I am absolutely terrified about being forced into a mental hospital. It seems to me like anything I do, no matter how innocent it seems, is just one step away from me being forced into psychiatric care. And that would mean that I could never get health insurance, go or stay on testosterone, get a gun, or do well at work or school.
It is my worst fear, that I will be forced into a mental hospital. Worse than my parents developing Alzheimer's, worse than being murdered for being trans and turning into a tabloid case, worse than anything. I am so afraid that if I don't behave exactly as I should I will be punished by being sent away, either by my parents or by the university. I worry that if my room isn't clean, a fight will start with my parents or my RA will call public safety, and that will result in legal action, and that will result in hospitalization.
Well, I have sworn to myself many a time, and I swear it now. If I am ever forced into a mental hospital, I will commit suicide. Either while I'm in or as soon as I get out. There is absolutely no point in me living if I cannot go on hormones or go to work or school or have a normal family life. There is absolutely no reason for me to live if I am ever, at any time, put under psychiatric care against my will. I am completely mentally fine now, but if I am locked up, even just ten minutes from now, I will find a way to kill myself.