Circles (Oneshot)
Title: Circles (Oneshot)
Author: yaoi_anti_drug
Beta: ladywilde80
Pairings: Sylar/Mohinder
Genre: Drama, Angst
Characters: Sylar, Mohinder, Matt, Molly, Nathan, Peter, Angela, Elle, mention of others.
Rating: R
Summary: What's real and what isn't?
Word Count: about 5,046
Spoilers: Season Two in general
Warnings: Violence, Character Death, Angst, Mind Fuckery...
Notes: Thanks goes out to ladywilde80 as always. I don't know what I'd do without you! Okay, I was told that this is a complete mind fuck, so, enjoy! Constructive criticism is always loved, comments, even if it’s to say you hate it, are always appreciated too. Title from "Circles" by Natalie Walker, I recommend listening to it, it's a great song!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but if I did, god, wouldn't that be fun?!
Circles
Mohinder awoke shaking, sweat coating his entire body. He felt so dirty, but not because of the dampness caused by sleep, but of what he’d dreamt. Death, all of it blood and violence, all that was not Mohinder Suresh.
Or, better, whom he thought he was.
The past few months he’d compromised himself, doing things he never thought he would. He’d changed; his old friends in India wouldn’t even recognize him now. He had blood on his hands, and he could never go back home again.
Sure, he’d helped to breathe life back into the dead body of Noah Bennet, but the point was he’d taken it away in the first place.
Then there was Sylar, a name that still filled him with a combination of revulsion, terror, and love. Love only because of whom he’d traveled with, the guise that Sylar had been using, that Mohinder was so sure had leaked some of the true man underneath.
There’d been a geniality about the Zane Taylor he’d grown to admire, something that seemed hard to fake, or maybe it was just Mohinder’s own wishful thinking that he hadn’t been tricked so easily.
He glanced at the clock, the bright, red numbers making his eyes sore. Four thirty seven. He didn’t have to be up until six thirty, when he would make Molly her breakfast and then drive her to school on the way in to work.
And then he recalled that he had the day off. Matt had said he’d take Molly to school so he could get a proper rest.
He could see how well that plan turned out…
He ran a hand through his hair, turning over to see Matt still snoring away in the bed next to him.
Even though they slept in the same bed, they weren’t lovers; it was only for practicality since they lived in a small apartment, and a way to save both their backs the pain of sleeping on a lumpy couch.
Mohinder’s new family had moved after Sylar’s last visit, and quickly, so the only thing they’d found was an even smaller apartment, since this was New York City and suitable homes were hard to come by nowadays.
Nathan Petrelli was currently helping them try to find a nice apartment, but he and his brother were still running around attempting to find a safer way to take The Company down without getting anyone killed.
Nathan had died for barely a few hours, just like Noah Bennet had. Peter had taken Mohinder’s advice and inserted his own blood into his brother. He’d been so unsure as to if it’d work, but Mohinder assured him that his blood would have the exact same properties as Adam and Claire’s.
Nathan Petrelli had life once more because of his brother’s efforts, they were lucky to have each other and they knew it.
Mohinder stood up and exited the room, making himself some coffee to help stay awake, since drifting back into a disturbing sleep didn’t sound very pleasant.
~~~~~~
“I thought I told you to get some sleep, I’d deal with the motherly chores around here for today.”
Mohinder smiled at Matt, the man always had a way to make such a small joke fit into an every day conversation.
“I did, I just woke up. Thought I’d save you the trouble.”
Matt sighed, shaking his head, pulling out a chair and sitting down.
“Fine, I guess. Waffles do sound good.”
“Morning.”
Molly’s groggy voice brightened both Matt and Mohinder’s mood. She sat down to join them, pouting a bit as she noticed Mohinder, opening her mouth to comment, but Mohinder just shot her an look that simply stated ‘you know why.’
It used to be Molly who would have the nightmares, and when they’d stopped, Mohinder had quickly taken her place, she could understand what he was going through.
~~~~~~
He gulped down some pain medication to soothe his headache, taking a look in the mirror to see purple bags underneath his eyes; this was wearing him down and fast. He got dressed and went out to make Matt and Molly some breakfast, like usual.
When he got out there, only Matt was in the kitchen. He’d been expecting both of them. Taken aback, he took a glimpse at the clock. Two thirty in the afternoon, how had he slept that long?
Matt eyed him, sighing in exasperation.
“You look like shit, Mohinder. Sit down, I’ll get you some coffee.”
Mohinder did just that, letting out a distressed noise as his hand went to his head.
“I’ve still got to go to work today…”
“No, you don’t. Just look at you! You look horrible.”
“No, I have to go…”
Matt shook his head, virtually slamming the cup down on the table in front of Mohinder.
“No, you will take one day off, Mohinder. Now, I have to go to work, and you’d better be here when I get back.”
Mohinder watched him as he left, though he’d only done so after making Mohinder promise he’d stay home. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to take off one day, even if he’d much rather spend his time droning out everything with research.
~~~~~~
“Father!”
His head just kept colliding with that window, blood beginning to course down his forehead, and then with a final sickening crack and his father was dead.
Mohinder’s palms hurt, and his heart felt as though it had stopped. His father began to speak to him, but that was impossible, wasn’t it?
“You’re the fool, Mohinder.”
Mohinder sucked in an aching breath, remembering a conversation they’d had before Chandra had left India.
“We’ll see who will be the fool, won’t we?”
“Yes, I guess we will.”
Someone grabbed his shoulders; turning him around and smashing his back into the car, squeezing him so tightly he thought his shoulder blades might shatter.
Sylar was glaring at him, eyes wide, resentment seething from him.
“You could have saved him, Mohinder. You could have followed him, protected him, stopped him from turning me into a merciless killer. I didn’t ask for this, you did, by letting him go alone.”
A twisted smile was given to him, a nod,
“If you had, I wouldn’t be doing this, I wouldn’t be killing. It’s all your fault, everything, you are the one who is the fool.”
Sylar’s hands left his shoulders, hovering in the air, cutting an incision right through his forehead.
Mohinder screamed, the pain obliterating any other thought, all that was left was blinding agony.
~~~~~~
“Mohinder!”
He woke up to Elle’s worried face; she’d been overly protective of him since the incident with Sylar, as if it were now her duty to protect him and his family. He’d given her a sense of being a hero and she was running with it.
“Elle…”
It was difficult to speak that one word, his lungs felt dry and his throat raw. The dream was still so vivid, his hand even went to his forehead, expecting a clean cut, but there was nothing.
“You had a nightmare, you’re fine now. Just stay still.”
He was on the floor; the coldness was just now seeping through his shirt. Had he fallen asleep at work?
“Why are you even here, Mohinder? You should be at home, resting, we give you days off for a reason.”
“I-I didn’t want to be at home.”
Elle glared at him unsympathetically, but she didn’t pry for any more information.
Mohinder glanced around, resting his head back on the floor and wishing for these unsettling dreams to end, they’d been happening for a few days now. Various scenarios from the past, details altered, laying all of the guilt of the past on his conscience.
The dreams themselves weren’t what frightened him, that he was beginning to believe them did.
~~~~~~
Molly’s little hands were curled in aggravation when Mohinder finally came home that evening, and she didn’t hesitate to confront him the moment he walked through the door. Matt was behind her with his arms crossed, utterly disappointed.
“You were supposed to be here when I got home, Mohinder! I was looking forward to spending time with you and now it’s almost seven, where were you?!”
Mohinder felt shame drip through him as he put his bag on the ground, walking to Molly and kneeling down so he could be at her height, an apologetic frown on his face.
“I’m sorry Molly, but work called, they needed me.”
Molly glowered, Mohinder was sure she didn’t believe him, but she soon nodded, accepting it as she let out a sigh.
“Fine, just don’t do it again. Now watch a movie with me, please?”
How could he say no to her? He smiled and took her hand, nodding as they walked to the couch together, Matt quick on their heels.
“Of course.”
~~~~~~
“I’m getting sick of all of these lies, Mohinder.”
Mohinder pretended he was putting away clothes, but he was really just unfolding and refolding them, all as an excuse to ignore what Matt had to say.
“Mohinder, please, talk to me. I’m worried about you.”
Mohinder finally snapped, striking his hands on the wood of the drawer.
“Why don’t you just read my mind, Matt? Like you do everyone else?”
Mohinder knew just by the change of atmosphere his words had stung, and seeing the expression on his face, he was sure it had. Mohinder’s face fell, shaking his head.
Matt never read his thoughts, Mohinder knew that, it was something they’d agreed on when beginning to live as a family, a promise that Mohinder trusted Matt kept; otherwise he’d be even more on his case right now.
“I’m sorry, Matt, I didn’t mean to say that. I’m just…”
“No, Mohinder, you did or you wouldn’t have said it. It’s okay, I understand. I’ll be taking the couch tonight.”
“Matt, no, I’m sorry, really.”
Matt ignored him, just stepping past him when he attempted to block his way out of the door. Mohinder watched him leave; he hadn’t the heart to stop him again. Matt wouldn’t stay mad at him, he never did, they’d talk this out later and return to normalcy in no time.
~~~~~~
Molly’s tiny fists were curled again, Matt behind her, his arms crossed. The similarities…
“It’s all your fault, Mohinder! You could have stopped Sylar, you had the means, but you did nothing! My parents are dead because of you. ”
Mohinder couldn’t believe those words were coming out of her mouth, but the absolute detestation behind them rang all too true. Mohinder felt pressured back into the door just by the pure emotion.
Matt stepped up beside her, his arms in front of him as he spoke, waving them around as if to emphasize his words, so very Matt like.
“If you had come to New York with your father, all of the events of the past six months would have never happened. My wife wouldn’t have left me; I wouldn’t have lost my only son, my real family. Nathan and Peter would still be alive!”
“But, Matt, they aren’t dead.”
“Really, Mohinder? What world do you live in?! Nathan and Peter Petrelli died in the explosion you had a hand in causing!”
“No…I didn’t cause that, and it didn’t happen! It was stopped, New York didn’t explode!”
“It did! And we all know how you denied helping Sylar when he called you; do you really think The Company didn’t have your phone bugged? He wouldn’t have antagonized Peter, no one would have lost their lives!”
“No, it didn’t happen, I know it didn’t. I was there, you both were there, you saw what happened!”
Molly now, stepping close to him, her angry eyes bearing down on him, making him feel small.
“We did see it. We watched Peter and Nathan explode, we watched ourselves burn and wither away while you survived!”
“B-burn?”
As soon as he said it, Molly and Matt burst into flames, still yelling at him even as they turned into ash. They’re voices never wavered even as they crumbled, nothing else around them catching.
The smell of burnt flesh buried themselves in his nostrils, in his brain, and he couldn’t stop staring as their skin peeled off their muscles and bones, blood dripping to the floor and bubbling as it evaporated in the heat.
Their screams reverberated in his mind, he’d denied his destiny and helped to destroy the world.
~~~~~~
Mohinder woke again, his head pounding, reaching towards the drawer by his bed to grab the bottle of Tylenol. He took some dry, taking a quick look around the dark room before jolting up. He was in his apartment, his old apartment.
Home…
“Have another bad dream, Mohinder?”
At the voice he froze, but felt eerily comforted by it. A hand smoothed his hair back from behind, pulling him into a warm embrace, kissing his lips, reassuring him.
“Don’t worry, you’re fine now, I’m here.”
“Sylar…”
The name wasn’t spoken with fear or hatred, no, it was breathed out, and saying it calmed him.
“Yes?”
“I’m hungry, would you make some breakfast?”
“Just what I had in mind.”
Sylar left a tender kiss on his forehead before crawling out of bed, dressed in only his boxers. Mohinder did the same, also garbed in little clothing.
He walked to the bathroom, watching himself in the mirror. His hair had grown out some, his face was clean-shaven, and he appeared healthy. He washed his face with a cloth, that dream far behind him.
He walked out to the kitchen and sat down, waiting for Sylar to get done with breakfast while he read the paper. The front page claimed the six-month anniversary of the devastation due to the explosion in New York City.
Mohinder’s eyes narrowed, reading through the article. Sylar was blamed, Sylar was dead, but he was right there in front of him, serving him breakfast.
Sylar chuckled a bit, eyeing him in amusement.
“Those papers love to lie, they would never print the truth. Especially since those two Petrelli Brothers are really to blame.”
Nathan and Peter, dead, he saw them explode right before they were able to fly, to escape, Sylar had held them down, the body of a silly Japanese man lay beside him, a sword through his gut.
Sylar walked to him, taking the paper from his hands and flinging it like it was toxic to wherever it might land, lifting Mohinder smoothly up by his arms, kissing him lovingly and Mohinder returned the gesture.
“I protected you from that blast, saved your life, and you love me for it, don’t you?”
The kiss that had taken his breath away, just like it always did.
“I love you for it.”
“I adore hearing you say that. Say it again. Tell me how much you love me, Mohinder.”
“I love you, Sylar.”
Another kiss, so caring and soft, Mohinder was sure this was perfection.
Wait, this wasn’t how things were supposed to be, this wasn’t reality. It was another dream and he had to get out, now.
He pulled himself from Sylar’s grasp, an expression of utmost disgust on his face.
“No, I don’t love you. What is going on here? I want out, this isn’t right…”
“Mohinder, what’s wrong? What are you talking about?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know, this is a dream, Sylar. You aren’t real, you’re no where near me.”
Sylar smiled, grapping him and pulling him close.
“Or, I’m closer than you think…”
Sylar kissed Mohinder, his lips possessive, rough, haunting. Tendrils of fear wrapped around his heart, crushing him. When was this going to end, he wanted it to end.
~~~~~~
Being awake was hardly better than being asleep, the certainty in everything was blurred to him, both worlds seemed so real to him whenever they occurred, he scarcely knew if what was happening right now was even reality.
“Matt told us what’s been going on, Mohinder. These dreams you’ve been having aren’t ordinary, and the way you’ve changed, it all means something. He wants us to help you.”
Mohinder was putting away dishes, trying his hardest to disregard Peter and Nathan’s presence in his home.
“Mohinder, listen to us!”
Peter always sounded so desperate, so caring, he demanded attention and not even Mohinder could resist. He put the plate in his hand away and turned to him, shaking his head.
“I’m fine, Peter, really. Everyone has nightmares.”
“We all know they could be more than nightmares, Mohinder, especially now.”
Mohinder let out a cold laugh.
“Oh come on, someone like Maury attacking me? You’ve got to be kidding…I think someone like him would be spending his time on wiser endeavors.”
Peter frowned, Nathan finally taking the floor.
“This is no laughing matter, Mohinder. Maury has escaped The Company; he may be going after you to take down their only miracle cure for the virus that is still out there.”
“Still out there? I thought Peter destroyed it.”
Peter frowned, breaking eye contact with Mohinder, who automatically reacted with anger.
“You didn’t destroy it?!”
“I did, but…I think they had another. The strain has shown itself again.”
“Who has it?”
“Hiro Nakamura was found dead two days ago, the virus was found in his blood. We don’t know how, but it was.”
“Dead…”
The two nodded and Mohinder stared at the ground, trying to understand everything he’d been told. It didn’t make sense, none of this did.
“We still need you, and we need you sane. So, let us help you.”
Mohinder sighed, defeated, slowly nodding.
“Fine, I trust you.”
~~~~~~
Mohinder was given drugs and training to make his mind stronger, to ward off the dreams, to fight them. It was immediately beneficial, he felt himself becoming more able to battle against any unwanted thoughts.
He was happy that he’d finally accepted the support offered by of those around him.
~~~~~~
He picked up a paper on the way to a coffee shop, reading it on the way, stopping dead in his tracks.
“The city mourns its lost heroes, Nathan and Peter Petrelli….”
They’d died the day before…
He dropped the paper, unable to believe it, they were alive, he’d just seen them yesterday. But yet their faces were plastered all over the papers and walls, people gazing at them with sad expressions on their faces, silent in their remembrance of the brothers they hardly knew but respected.
He didn’t understand, how…
He instantly changed direction, taking a taxi to the Petrelli Mansion. He needed answers, and there was only one place to get them.
Angela was the one to come to the door, much like she had when Mohinder had brought Peter’s body to her. Peter’d survived that, he could survive anything. He couldn’t be dead.
“Mrs…”
“Mohinder Suresh, what the hell are you doing here?”
He was taken unawares by her tone of voice, it was almost venomous.
“How dare you step foot near my house, after what you did to my sons!”
“What…I didn’t do anything to them…”
“You shot them…How dare you call that nothing! I will get my revenge for what you’ve done; I’ll make it slow and painful. Now get out of my sight.”
Angela was never one to act right away, she took careful time to plan things, and whatever she wanted got done. Mohinder was filled with an unexpected pang of dread.
He stared at the white door, the rush of air caused by the slam forcing him to take a step back.
He’d shot them? He repeated his questions in his head. When? How? Mohinder reached to the back of his mind to retain any detail of it, any morsel of information, but none came.
~~~~~~
“Matt? Molly?”
He was back home, thinking he could at least find answers here. He looked at the clock, eleven forty five. Molly would be at school, Matt should be home. He walked through the apartment, watching for any signs, and he didn’t have to wait long.
Matt’s hands were on his shoulders, making him face him, gripping him so hard it would surely bruise.
“Mohinder…Where have you been?! What the hell happened, I thought that those exercises were working, why did you…?”
“Matt, what’s going on? I don’t remember the past day. I read that Peter and Nathan are dead, and Mrs. Petrelli said I shot them, but I wouldn’t ever, I wouldn’t…”
Matt’s eyes dropped, matching his grief stricken face.
“You don’t know, Mohinder?”
In a reply, he just shook his head, hoping Matt could fill the gaps in his memory.
“You swore they were already dead, that they’d just come back to torment you, and that you’d finally end it. Mohinder, you killed them and then you ran. I haven’t been able to find you for nearly twenty four hours…and you don’t remember anything?”
“No, I…I did that? I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, No, Matt…You’re lying!”
Mohinder was sure Matt’s words weren’t fabricated even as he denied it, why else would he have this terrible twist in his stomach? Mohinder felt his strength fail, his muscles evaporate as he collapsed right into Matt’s arms, dissolving into tears.
Mohinder was laid down on the bed, Matt went to get him a wet cloth, dabbing his forehead, saying something about how Mohinder had a fever, but he took no notice.
He just couldn’t believe it; he wouldn’t kill anyone, not unless he was provoked. Not like that, not in cold blood, not people who’d been so kind to him. Yet, he had an appalling sense he’d done just that.
~~~~~~
“Liar.”
Sylar’s breath on his ear, choking him into the bed he laid on, bearing down on his soul so swiftly Mohinder hardly had the time to register it.
“You did it to me, you tried to shoot me, you even attempted to stab me.”
Murdering him would be different, he was a killer. Sylar laughed at him, shaking his head.
“How many times do we have to go through this, Mohinder? There is no difference; a killer is a killer. You murdered Bennet, Nathan, and Peter, all of them, and two are never coming back. And don’t even get me started on those who died because of your stupidity.”
Sylar licked the crook of his neck before traveling to his lips, tugging a bit and staring him straight in the eyes.
“Well, I might as well. Dale Smithers, Zane Taylor, Jackie Wilcox, James Walker, Brian Davis, Chandra Suresh, heard enough?”
He smirked, mocking Mohinder’s horror at the last name spoken.
“Yes, your father. If you would have followed him here, I know I would have never killed anyone. You would have been all I needed. But you weren’t here.”
Mohinder gasped for breath, Sylar’s grip tighter until suddenly he let go, pulling away. Mohinder felt Sylar’s flesh underneath his fingernails, he hadn’t even realized he’d been scratching him.
“No, none of those are my fault, I couldn’t have known…”
“Don’t make excuses, Mohinder. Think about it long and hard. You know it’s the truth, deep down. It’s your fault and don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.”
Mohinder didn’t want to think he was able to commit such unspeakable crimes, but he did, and tears rushed to his eyes, brimming over and he knew what Sylar said was right. Somehow, he just knew.
He could have stopped it all, none of this would have happened, he could have saved everyone.
~~~~~~
“Mohinder, stop crying. It’ll be fine, it was all a dream, wake up.”
Mohinder’s eyes shot open and he gripped Matt’s shirt, staring almost insanely into his eyes, clinging to the hope his words were real.
“It was all a dream? Nathan and Peter, they’re not dead are they?”
Matt broke their gaze, and Mohinder knew he’d lied to him, it wasn’t all a dream. He broke; weeping and curling away into his own world, trying to forget all that he’d done, powerless to do so.
~~~~~~
Eden…he hadn’t seen her in so long, her sweet kiss was merely a memory. He missed her, and wretchedly he recognized how quickly he’d replaced Eden McCain with Zane Taylor.
“I’m going take this gun and I’m going to put it in that a slot and you’re going to take it and you’re going to blow your brains out…”
“You knew didn’t you?”
Sylar was on the other side, not fazed at all by Eden’s ability, he just pulled her right through the measly glass separating the two enemies, shards stuck in her beautiful, blood dotted face as Mohinder watched from the side lines, incapable of movement.
So this was exactly how she’d died.
“You knew what I was and you let it continue. In a way you helped me…”
Eden’s gun was aimed towards Sylar, Mohinder wanted to yell at her not to be stupid, don’t waste a bullet…
“Ohh, Eden, you know that won’t hurt me…”
She turned the gun towards herself, and Sylar’s smirk just widened, the gun whipped out of her hand and flew towards Mohinder, who caught it like it was meant just for him.
Sylar’s eyes locked onto his own; he was smirking, ecstatic.
“I have no need for persuasion now that I have him.”
Sylar’s hand gripped Eden’s chin, forcing her to look at Mohinder’s startled face.
“See, sweet Eden, Mohinder belongs to me…He’ll do anything I want…”
Mohinder’s eyes expanded, hurt by the repulsion in Eden’s eyes. She hated him, and he hated himself.
“Shoot her, Mohinder.”
“No, Sylar…”
“Shoot her!”
His voice was thunderous, commanding, like he already had Eden’s power, and Mohinder raised the gun and without a second thought, he blew her away.
It was fitting; after all, the responsibility for her demise had always been his to bear, just like everything else that hurt.
~~~~~~
“Leave me alone!”
“Mohinder, please, listen to us. You aren’t in a dream, I swear it! We just want to help you!”
“Why should I believe any of you? You told me that before and yet you hurt me, burned me as I let you burn, I won’t let it happen again, I’ll stop you this time!”
“Peter, he’s got a gun, get the hell out of…”
One sound silenced him, one gunshot was all it took, aimed neatly at his head and he crumbled. The one who could fly was finally grounded. Peter screamed, a deafening noise, advancing on Mohinder.
He shot again, watching him as fell, shooting twice more just to make sure he didn’t survive. Blood oozed from his head, doe eyes wide and replaced by fury that followed even unto death, too much of his brain spattered on the floor to make any sort of recovery.
He dropped the gun, closing his eyes, expecting the world to shimmer and for him to awake. He ended the nightmare before it could continue; he should be back in reality any time now…
“Run!”
A voice, demanding him, and he did exactly what it said.
~~~~~~
“Good, my dear, you did good.”
Mohinder whined in the comforting arms, clinging to the form even more. His head was killing him; everything was closing in on him, every sound attempting to drive him deeper into madness. All except this one, affectionate voice, he wanted to listen to it forever; it would drown out every hideous part of his existence.
“I didn’t need Peter, I enjoy the way I gain abilities. Permanently, I don’t just borrow them like he does. He’s a meager copy-cat, I’m the real thing. Nathan…I don’t need to fly. Parkman, I didn’t need him either, his power is already mine. Molly…”
He only grinned at that name, nuzzling his chin into Mohinder’s dark curls.
“And now I have you. You’ll come with me, won’t you? Worship every new power I gain, love the way only I can protect you. Be my lovely pet that I’ll put on display for everyone to see, my most prized possession.”
He was stroking his hair, cooing soft words into his ear, calming his headache. Mohinder raised his head, looking up towards the eyes of the owner of that wonderful voice, staring into the depths of a murderer.
He gasped; trepidation running through his veins, pulling away, but the man instantaneously tugged him close again.
“Shh, shh, no need to be afraid anymore.”
Mohinder abruptly smelled a stench, the knowledge that death was all around him coming quickly. He shivered, his eyes traveling towards it, straight to the corpses of Matt Parkman and Molly Walker.
Matt was just sprawled on the floor, blood drenching the carpet underneath his belly, a dark knife digging into the floor only a few feet away. His pale skin was just touched with rigor mortis, unearthly tranquil and frozen into place.
Molly’s head was sliced open, brain removed. She was on her back; the hope in her young eyes was shredded away, leaving nothing but rolled back, lifeless orbs in their place, staring blame right into his heart.
Mohinder gaped down at his crimson stained hands, and he just knew he’d held that knife on the ground, that he’d murdered Matt. He felt bile rising in his throat, yearning to scream but was silenced.
Sylar took his head in his hands, kissing him, consoling him.
“No, I couldn’t, tell me I didn’t.”
“Oh, but you did. You’re my little killer now, all mine. You’ll do what I want you to from now on. Say you will, or I’ll be happy to provide you with another nightmare until you’re ready to cooperate.”
Another nightmare, no, he didn’t want to be trapped again, not knowing what was real and what was false. He sobbed dry tears, his body shuddering, muttering.
“No, no more, I’ll do what you say, just please…”
Sylar kissed him gently.
“I’ll fix you, Mohinder. Soon I’ll make you enjoy it. Taking life. It’s empowering, you’ll grow to love it, won’t you?”
Mohinder looked up at him, fully comprehending what saying no would mean, letting out one choked word.
“Yes…”
Sylar smiled proudly, pulling him close and caressing him as one would a prized pet, which was what Mohinder was to him, a trapped, scared animal, just the way Sylar preferred him.
X-Crossed to mylar_fic and heroes_slash
Author: yaoi_anti_drug
Beta: ladywilde80
Pairings: Sylar/Mohinder
Genre: Drama, Angst
Characters: Sylar, Mohinder, Matt, Molly, Nathan, Peter, Angela, Elle, mention of others.
Rating: R
Summary: What's real and what isn't?
Word Count: about 5,046
Spoilers: Season Two in general
Warnings: Violence, Character Death, Angst, Mind Fuckery...
Notes: Thanks goes out to ladywilde80 as always. I don't know what I'd do without you! Okay, I was told that this is a complete mind fuck, so, enjoy! Constructive criticism is always loved, comments, even if it’s to say you hate it, are always appreciated too. Title from "Circles" by Natalie Walker, I recommend listening to it, it's a great song!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but if I did, god, wouldn't that be fun?!
Circles
Mohinder awoke shaking, sweat coating his entire body. He felt so dirty, but not because of the dampness caused by sleep, but of what he’d dreamt. Death, all of it blood and violence, all that was not Mohinder Suresh.
Or, better, whom he thought he was.
The past few months he’d compromised himself, doing things he never thought he would. He’d changed; his old friends in India wouldn’t even recognize him now. He had blood on his hands, and he could never go back home again.
Sure, he’d helped to breathe life back into the dead body of Noah Bennet, but the point was he’d taken it away in the first place.
Then there was Sylar, a name that still filled him with a combination of revulsion, terror, and love. Love only because of whom he’d traveled with, the guise that Sylar had been using, that Mohinder was so sure had leaked some of the true man underneath.
There’d been a geniality about the Zane Taylor he’d grown to admire, something that seemed hard to fake, or maybe it was just Mohinder’s own wishful thinking that he hadn’t been tricked so easily.
He glanced at the clock, the bright, red numbers making his eyes sore. Four thirty seven. He didn’t have to be up until six thirty, when he would make Molly her breakfast and then drive her to school on the way in to work.
And then he recalled that he had the day off. Matt had said he’d take Molly to school so he could get a proper rest.
He could see how well that plan turned out…
He ran a hand through his hair, turning over to see Matt still snoring away in the bed next to him.
Even though they slept in the same bed, they weren’t lovers; it was only for practicality since they lived in a small apartment, and a way to save both their backs the pain of sleeping on a lumpy couch.
Mohinder’s new family had moved after Sylar’s last visit, and quickly, so the only thing they’d found was an even smaller apartment, since this was New York City and suitable homes were hard to come by nowadays.
Nathan Petrelli was currently helping them try to find a nice apartment, but he and his brother were still running around attempting to find a safer way to take The Company down without getting anyone killed.
Nathan had died for barely a few hours, just like Noah Bennet had. Peter had taken Mohinder’s advice and inserted his own blood into his brother. He’d been so unsure as to if it’d work, but Mohinder assured him that his blood would have the exact same properties as Adam and Claire’s.
Nathan Petrelli had life once more because of his brother’s efforts, they were lucky to have each other and they knew it.
Mohinder stood up and exited the room, making himself some coffee to help stay awake, since drifting back into a disturbing sleep didn’t sound very pleasant.
~~~~~~
“I thought I told you to get some sleep, I’d deal with the motherly chores around here for today.”
Mohinder smiled at Matt, the man always had a way to make such a small joke fit into an every day conversation.
“I did, I just woke up. Thought I’d save you the trouble.”
Matt sighed, shaking his head, pulling out a chair and sitting down.
“Fine, I guess. Waffles do sound good.”
“Morning.”
Molly’s groggy voice brightened both Matt and Mohinder’s mood. She sat down to join them, pouting a bit as she noticed Mohinder, opening her mouth to comment, but Mohinder just shot her an look that simply stated ‘you know why.’
It used to be Molly who would have the nightmares, and when they’d stopped, Mohinder had quickly taken her place, she could understand what he was going through.
~~~~~~
He gulped down some pain medication to soothe his headache, taking a look in the mirror to see purple bags underneath his eyes; this was wearing him down and fast. He got dressed and went out to make Matt and Molly some breakfast, like usual.
When he got out there, only Matt was in the kitchen. He’d been expecting both of them. Taken aback, he took a glimpse at the clock. Two thirty in the afternoon, how had he slept that long?
Matt eyed him, sighing in exasperation.
“You look like shit, Mohinder. Sit down, I’ll get you some coffee.”
Mohinder did just that, letting out a distressed noise as his hand went to his head.
“I’ve still got to go to work today…”
“No, you don’t. Just look at you! You look horrible.”
“No, I have to go…”
Matt shook his head, virtually slamming the cup down on the table in front of Mohinder.
“No, you will take one day off, Mohinder. Now, I have to go to work, and you’d better be here when I get back.”
Mohinder watched him as he left, though he’d only done so after making Mohinder promise he’d stay home. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to take off one day, even if he’d much rather spend his time droning out everything with research.
~~~~~~
“Father!”
His head just kept colliding with that window, blood beginning to course down his forehead, and then with a final sickening crack and his father was dead.
Mohinder’s palms hurt, and his heart felt as though it had stopped. His father began to speak to him, but that was impossible, wasn’t it?
“You’re the fool, Mohinder.”
Mohinder sucked in an aching breath, remembering a conversation they’d had before Chandra had left India.
“We’ll see who will be the fool, won’t we?”
“Yes, I guess we will.”
Someone grabbed his shoulders; turning him around and smashing his back into the car, squeezing him so tightly he thought his shoulder blades might shatter.
Sylar was glaring at him, eyes wide, resentment seething from him.
“You could have saved him, Mohinder. You could have followed him, protected him, stopped him from turning me into a merciless killer. I didn’t ask for this, you did, by letting him go alone.”
A twisted smile was given to him, a nod,
“If you had, I wouldn’t be doing this, I wouldn’t be killing. It’s all your fault, everything, you are the one who is the fool.”
Sylar’s hands left his shoulders, hovering in the air, cutting an incision right through his forehead.
Mohinder screamed, the pain obliterating any other thought, all that was left was blinding agony.
~~~~~~
“Mohinder!”
He woke up to Elle’s worried face; she’d been overly protective of him since the incident with Sylar, as if it were now her duty to protect him and his family. He’d given her a sense of being a hero and she was running with it.
“Elle…”
It was difficult to speak that one word, his lungs felt dry and his throat raw. The dream was still so vivid, his hand even went to his forehead, expecting a clean cut, but there was nothing.
“You had a nightmare, you’re fine now. Just stay still.”
He was on the floor; the coldness was just now seeping through his shirt. Had he fallen asleep at work?
“Why are you even here, Mohinder? You should be at home, resting, we give you days off for a reason.”
“I-I didn’t want to be at home.”
Elle glared at him unsympathetically, but she didn’t pry for any more information.
Mohinder glanced around, resting his head back on the floor and wishing for these unsettling dreams to end, they’d been happening for a few days now. Various scenarios from the past, details altered, laying all of the guilt of the past on his conscience.
The dreams themselves weren’t what frightened him, that he was beginning to believe them did.
~~~~~~
Molly’s little hands were curled in aggravation when Mohinder finally came home that evening, and she didn’t hesitate to confront him the moment he walked through the door. Matt was behind her with his arms crossed, utterly disappointed.
“You were supposed to be here when I got home, Mohinder! I was looking forward to spending time with you and now it’s almost seven, where were you?!”
Mohinder felt shame drip through him as he put his bag on the ground, walking to Molly and kneeling down so he could be at her height, an apologetic frown on his face.
“I’m sorry Molly, but work called, they needed me.”
Molly glowered, Mohinder was sure she didn’t believe him, but she soon nodded, accepting it as she let out a sigh.
“Fine, just don’t do it again. Now watch a movie with me, please?”
How could he say no to her? He smiled and took her hand, nodding as they walked to the couch together, Matt quick on their heels.
“Of course.”
~~~~~~
“I’m getting sick of all of these lies, Mohinder.”
Mohinder pretended he was putting away clothes, but he was really just unfolding and refolding them, all as an excuse to ignore what Matt had to say.
“Mohinder, please, talk to me. I’m worried about you.”
Mohinder finally snapped, striking his hands on the wood of the drawer.
“Why don’t you just read my mind, Matt? Like you do everyone else?”
Mohinder knew just by the change of atmosphere his words had stung, and seeing the expression on his face, he was sure it had. Mohinder’s face fell, shaking his head.
Matt never read his thoughts, Mohinder knew that, it was something they’d agreed on when beginning to live as a family, a promise that Mohinder trusted Matt kept; otherwise he’d be even more on his case right now.
“I’m sorry, Matt, I didn’t mean to say that. I’m just…”
“No, Mohinder, you did or you wouldn’t have said it. It’s okay, I understand. I’ll be taking the couch tonight.”
“Matt, no, I’m sorry, really.”
Matt ignored him, just stepping past him when he attempted to block his way out of the door. Mohinder watched him leave; he hadn’t the heart to stop him again. Matt wouldn’t stay mad at him, he never did, they’d talk this out later and return to normalcy in no time.
~~~~~~
Molly’s tiny fists were curled again, Matt behind her, his arms crossed. The similarities…
“It’s all your fault, Mohinder! You could have stopped Sylar, you had the means, but you did nothing! My parents are dead because of you. ”
Mohinder couldn’t believe those words were coming out of her mouth, but the absolute detestation behind them rang all too true. Mohinder felt pressured back into the door just by the pure emotion.
Matt stepped up beside her, his arms in front of him as he spoke, waving them around as if to emphasize his words, so very Matt like.
“If you had come to New York with your father, all of the events of the past six months would have never happened. My wife wouldn’t have left me; I wouldn’t have lost my only son, my real family. Nathan and Peter would still be alive!”
“But, Matt, they aren’t dead.”
“Really, Mohinder? What world do you live in?! Nathan and Peter Petrelli died in the explosion you had a hand in causing!”
“No…I didn’t cause that, and it didn’t happen! It was stopped, New York didn’t explode!”
“It did! And we all know how you denied helping Sylar when he called you; do you really think The Company didn’t have your phone bugged? He wouldn’t have antagonized Peter, no one would have lost their lives!”
“No, it didn’t happen, I know it didn’t. I was there, you both were there, you saw what happened!”
Molly now, stepping close to him, her angry eyes bearing down on him, making him feel small.
“We did see it. We watched Peter and Nathan explode, we watched ourselves burn and wither away while you survived!”
“B-burn?”
As soon as he said it, Molly and Matt burst into flames, still yelling at him even as they turned into ash. They’re voices never wavered even as they crumbled, nothing else around them catching.
The smell of burnt flesh buried themselves in his nostrils, in his brain, and he couldn’t stop staring as their skin peeled off their muscles and bones, blood dripping to the floor and bubbling as it evaporated in the heat.
Their screams reverberated in his mind, he’d denied his destiny and helped to destroy the world.
~~~~~~
Mohinder woke again, his head pounding, reaching towards the drawer by his bed to grab the bottle of Tylenol. He took some dry, taking a quick look around the dark room before jolting up. He was in his apartment, his old apartment.
Home…
“Have another bad dream, Mohinder?”
At the voice he froze, but felt eerily comforted by it. A hand smoothed his hair back from behind, pulling him into a warm embrace, kissing his lips, reassuring him.
“Don’t worry, you’re fine now, I’m here.”
“Sylar…”
The name wasn’t spoken with fear or hatred, no, it was breathed out, and saying it calmed him.
“Yes?”
“I’m hungry, would you make some breakfast?”
“Just what I had in mind.”
Sylar left a tender kiss on his forehead before crawling out of bed, dressed in only his boxers. Mohinder did the same, also garbed in little clothing.
He walked to the bathroom, watching himself in the mirror. His hair had grown out some, his face was clean-shaven, and he appeared healthy. He washed his face with a cloth, that dream far behind him.
He walked out to the kitchen and sat down, waiting for Sylar to get done with breakfast while he read the paper. The front page claimed the six-month anniversary of the devastation due to the explosion in New York City.
Mohinder’s eyes narrowed, reading through the article. Sylar was blamed, Sylar was dead, but he was right there in front of him, serving him breakfast.
Sylar chuckled a bit, eyeing him in amusement.
“Those papers love to lie, they would never print the truth. Especially since those two Petrelli Brothers are really to blame.”
Nathan and Peter, dead, he saw them explode right before they were able to fly, to escape, Sylar had held them down, the body of a silly Japanese man lay beside him, a sword through his gut.
Sylar walked to him, taking the paper from his hands and flinging it like it was toxic to wherever it might land, lifting Mohinder smoothly up by his arms, kissing him lovingly and Mohinder returned the gesture.
“I protected you from that blast, saved your life, and you love me for it, don’t you?”
The kiss that had taken his breath away, just like it always did.
“I love you for it.”
“I adore hearing you say that. Say it again. Tell me how much you love me, Mohinder.”
“I love you, Sylar.”
Another kiss, so caring and soft, Mohinder was sure this was perfection.
Wait, this wasn’t how things were supposed to be, this wasn’t reality. It was another dream and he had to get out, now.
He pulled himself from Sylar’s grasp, an expression of utmost disgust on his face.
“No, I don’t love you. What is going on here? I want out, this isn’t right…”
“Mohinder, what’s wrong? What are you talking about?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know, this is a dream, Sylar. You aren’t real, you’re no where near me.”
Sylar smiled, grapping him and pulling him close.
“Or, I’m closer than you think…”
Sylar kissed Mohinder, his lips possessive, rough, haunting. Tendrils of fear wrapped around his heart, crushing him. When was this going to end, he wanted it to end.
~~~~~~
Being awake was hardly better than being asleep, the certainty in everything was blurred to him, both worlds seemed so real to him whenever they occurred, he scarcely knew if what was happening right now was even reality.
“Matt told us what’s been going on, Mohinder. These dreams you’ve been having aren’t ordinary, and the way you’ve changed, it all means something. He wants us to help you.”
Mohinder was putting away dishes, trying his hardest to disregard Peter and Nathan’s presence in his home.
“Mohinder, listen to us!”
Peter always sounded so desperate, so caring, he demanded attention and not even Mohinder could resist. He put the plate in his hand away and turned to him, shaking his head.
“I’m fine, Peter, really. Everyone has nightmares.”
“We all know they could be more than nightmares, Mohinder, especially now.”
Mohinder let out a cold laugh.
“Oh come on, someone like Maury attacking me? You’ve got to be kidding…I think someone like him would be spending his time on wiser endeavors.”
Peter frowned, Nathan finally taking the floor.
“This is no laughing matter, Mohinder. Maury has escaped The Company; he may be going after you to take down their only miracle cure for the virus that is still out there.”
“Still out there? I thought Peter destroyed it.”
Peter frowned, breaking eye contact with Mohinder, who automatically reacted with anger.
“You didn’t destroy it?!”
“I did, but…I think they had another. The strain has shown itself again.”
“Who has it?”
“Hiro Nakamura was found dead two days ago, the virus was found in his blood. We don’t know how, but it was.”
“Dead…”
The two nodded and Mohinder stared at the ground, trying to understand everything he’d been told. It didn’t make sense, none of this did.
“We still need you, and we need you sane. So, let us help you.”
Mohinder sighed, defeated, slowly nodding.
“Fine, I trust you.”
~~~~~~
Mohinder was given drugs and training to make his mind stronger, to ward off the dreams, to fight them. It was immediately beneficial, he felt himself becoming more able to battle against any unwanted thoughts.
He was happy that he’d finally accepted the support offered by of those around him.
~~~~~~
He picked up a paper on the way to a coffee shop, reading it on the way, stopping dead in his tracks.
“The city mourns its lost heroes, Nathan and Peter Petrelli….”
They’d died the day before…
He dropped the paper, unable to believe it, they were alive, he’d just seen them yesterday. But yet their faces were plastered all over the papers and walls, people gazing at them with sad expressions on their faces, silent in their remembrance of the brothers they hardly knew but respected.
He didn’t understand, how…
He instantly changed direction, taking a taxi to the Petrelli Mansion. He needed answers, and there was only one place to get them.
Angela was the one to come to the door, much like she had when Mohinder had brought Peter’s body to her. Peter’d survived that, he could survive anything. He couldn’t be dead.
“Mrs…”
“Mohinder Suresh, what the hell are you doing here?”
He was taken unawares by her tone of voice, it was almost venomous.
“How dare you step foot near my house, after what you did to my sons!”
“What…I didn’t do anything to them…”
“You shot them…How dare you call that nothing! I will get my revenge for what you’ve done; I’ll make it slow and painful. Now get out of my sight.”
Angela was never one to act right away, she took careful time to plan things, and whatever she wanted got done. Mohinder was filled with an unexpected pang of dread.
He stared at the white door, the rush of air caused by the slam forcing him to take a step back.
He’d shot them? He repeated his questions in his head. When? How? Mohinder reached to the back of his mind to retain any detail of it, any morsel of information, but none came.
~~~~~~
“Matt? Molly?”
He was back home, thinking he could at least find answers here. He looked at the clock, eleven forty five. Molly would be at school, Matt should be home. He walked through the apartment, watching for any signs, and he didn’t have to wait long.
Matt’s hands were on his shoulders, making him face him, gripping him so hard it would surely bruise.
“Mohinder…Where have you been?! What the hell happened, I thought that those exercises were working, why did you…?”
“Matt, what’s going on? I don’t remember the past day. I read that Peter and Nathan are dead, and Mrs. Petrelli said I shot them, but I wouldn’t ever, I wouldn’t…”
Matt’s eyes dropped, matching his grief stricken face.
“You don’t know, Mohinder?”
In a reply, he just shook his head, hoping Matt could fill the gaps in his memory.
“You swore they were already dead, that they’d just come back to torment you, and that you’d finally end it. Mohinder, you killed them and then you ran. I haven’t been able to find you for nearly twenty four hours…and you don’t remember anything?”
“No, I…I did that? I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, No, Matt…You’re lying!”
Mohinder was sure Matt’s words weren’t fabricated even as he denied it, why else would he have this terrible twist in his stomach? Mohinder felt his strength fail, his muscles evaporate as he collapsed right into Matt’s arms, dissolving into tears.
Mohinder was laid down on the bed, Matt went to get him a wet cloth, dabbing his forehead, saying something about how Mohinder had a fever, but he took no notice.
He just couldn’t believe it; he wouldn’t kill anyone, not unless he was provoked. Not like that, not in cold blood, not people who’d been so kind to him. Yet, he had an appalling sense he’d done just that.
~~~~~~
“Liar.”
Sylar’s breath on his ear, choking him into the bed he laid on, bearing down on his soul so swiftly Mohinder hardly had the time to register it.
“You did it to me, you tried to shoot me, you even attempted to stab me.”
Murdering him would be different, he was a killer. Sylar laughed at him, shaking his head.
“How many times do we have to go through this, Mohinder? There is no difference; a killer is a killer. You murdered Bennet, Nathan, and Peter, all of them, and two are never coming back. And don’t even get me started on those who died because of your stupidity.”
Sylar licked the crook of his neck before traveling to his lips, tugging a bit and staring him straight in the eyes.
“Well, I might as well. Dale Smithers, Zane Taylor, Jackie Wilcox, James Walker, Brian Davis, Chandra Suresh, heard enough?”
He smirked, mocking Mohinder’s horror at the last name spoken.
“Yes, your father. If you would have followed him here, I know I would have never killed anyone. You would have been all I needed. But you weren’t here.”
Mohinder gasped for breath, Sylar’s grip tighter until suddenly he let go, pulling away. Mohinder felt Sylar’s flesh underneath his fingernails, he hadn’t even realized he’d been scratching him.
“No, none of those are my fault, I couldn’t have known…”
“Don’t make excuses, Mohinder. Think about it long and hard. You know it’s the truth, deep down. It’s your fault and don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.”
Mohinder didn’t want to think he was able to commit such unspeakable crimes, but he did, and tears rushed to his eyes, brimming over and he knew what Sylar said was right. Somehow, he just knew.
He could have stopped it all, none of this would have happened, he could have saved everyone.
~~~~~~
“Mohinder, stop crying. It’ll be fine, it was all a dream, wake up.”
Mohinder’s eyes shot open and he gripped Matt’s shirt, staring almost insanely into his eyes, clinging to the hope his words were real.
“It was all a dream? Nathan and Peter, they’re not dead are they?”
Matt broke their gaze, and Mohinder knew he’d lied to him, it wasn’t all a dream. He broke; weeping and curling away into his own world, trying to forget all that he’d done, powerless to do so.
~~~~~~
Eden…he hadn’t seen her in so long, her sweet kiss was merely a memory. He missed her, and wretchedly he recognized how quickly he’d replaced Eden McCain with Zane Taylor.
“I’m going take this gun and I’m going to put it in that a slot and you’re going to take it and you’re going to blow your brains out…”
“You knew didn’t you?”
Sylar was on the other side, not fazed at all by Eden’s ability, he just pulled her right through the measly glass separating the two enemies, shards stuck in her beautiful, blood dotted face as Mohinder watched from the side lines, incapable of movement.
So this was exactly how she’d died.
“You knew what I was and you let it continue. In a way you helped me…”
Eden’s gun was aimed towards Sylar, Mohinder wanted to yell at her not to be stupid, don’t waste a bullet…
“Ohh, Eden, you know that won’t hurt me…”
She turned the gun towards herself, and Sylar’s smirk just widened, the gun whipped out of her hand and flew towards Mohinder, who caught it like it was meant just for him.
Sylar’s eyes locked onto his own; he was smirking, ecstatic.
“I have no need for persuasion now that I have him.”
Sylar’s hand gripped Eden’s chin, forcing her to look at Mohinder’s startled face.
“See, sweet Eden, Mohinder belongs to me…He’ll do anything I want…”
Mohinder’s eyes expanded, hurt by the repulsion in Eden’s eyes. She hated him, and he hated himself.
“Shoot her, Mohinder.”
“No, Sylar…”
“Shoot her!”
His voice was thunderous, commanding, like he already had Eden’s power, and Mohinder raised the gun and without a second thought, he blew her away.
It was fitting; after all, the responsibility for her demise had always been his to bear, just like everything else that hurt.
~~~~~~
“Leave me alone!”
“Mohinder, please, listen to us. You aren’t in a dream, I swear it! We just want to help you!”
“Why should I believe any of you? You told me that before and yet you hurt me, burned me as I let you burn, I won’t let it happen again, I’ll stop you this time!”
“Peter, he’s got a gun, get the hell out of…”
One sound silenced him, one gunshot was all it took, aimed neatly at his head and he crumbled. The one who could fly was finally grounded. Peter screamed, a deafening noise, advancing on Mohinder.
He shot again, watching him as fell, shooting twice more just to make sure he didn’t survive. Blood oozed from his head, doe eyes wide and replaced by fury that followed even unto death, too much of his brain spattered on the floor to make any sort of recovery.
He dropped the gun, closing his eyes, expecting the world to shimmer and for him to awake. He ended the nightmare before it could continue; he should be back in reality any time now…
“Run!”
A voice, demanding him, and he did exactly what it said.
~~~~~~
“Good, my dear, you did good.”
Mohinder whined in the comforting arms, clinging to the form even more. His head was killing him; everything was closing in on him, every sound attempting to drive him deeper into madness. All except this one, affectionate voice, he wanted to listen to it forever; it would drown out every hideous part of his existence.
“I didn’t need Peter, I enjoy the way I gain abilities. Permanently, I don’t just borrow them like he does. He’s a meager copy-cat, I’m the real thing. Nathan…I don’t need to fly. Parkman, I didn’t need him either, his power is already mine. Molly…”
He only grinned at that name, nuzzling his chin into Mohinder’s dark curls.
“And now I have you. You’ll come with me, won’t you? Worship every new power I gain, love the way only I can protect you. Be my lovely pet that I’ll put on display for everyone to see, my most prized possession.”
He was stroking his hair, cooing soft words into his ear, calming his headache. Mohinder raised his head, looking up towards the eyes of the owner of that wonderful voice, staring into the depths of a murderer.
He gasped; trepidation running through his veins, pulling away, but the man instantaneously tugged him close again.
“Shh, shh, no need to be afraid anymore.”
Mohinder abruptly smelled a stench, the knowledge that death was all around him coming quickly. He shivered, his eyes traveling towards it, straight to the corpses of Matt Parkman and Molly Walker.
Matt was just sprawled on the floor, blood drenching the carpet underneath his belly, a dark knife digging into the floor only a few feet away. His pale skin was just touched with rigor mortis, unearthly tranquil and frozen into place.
Molly’s head was sliced open, brain removed. She was on her back; the hope in her young eyes was shredded away, leaving nothing but rolled back, lifeless orbs in their place, staring blame right into his heart.
Mohinder gaped down at his crimson stained hands, and he just knew he’d held that knife on the ground, that he’d murdered Matt. He felt bile rising in his throat, yearning to scream but was silenced.
Sylar took his head in his hands, kissing him, consoling him.
“No, I couldn’t, tell me I didn’t.”
“Oh, but you did. You’re my little killer now, all mine. You’ll do what I want you to from now on. Say you will, or I’ll be happy to provide you with another nightmare until you’re ready to cooperate.”
Another nightmare, no, he didn’t want to be trapped again, not knowing what was real and what was false. He sobbed dry tears, his body shuddering, muttering.
“No, no more, I’ll do what you say, just please…”
Sylar kissed him gently.
“I’ll fix you, Mohinder. Soon I’ll make you enjoy it. Taking life. It’s empowering, you’ll grow to love it, won’t you?”
Mohinder looked up at him, fully comprehending what saying no would mean, letting out one choked word.
“Yes…”
Sylar smiled proudly, pulling him close and caressing him as one would a prized pet, which was what Mohinder was to him, a trapped, scared animal, just the way Sylar preferred him.
X-Crossed to mylar_fic and heroes_slash