Yesterday's subway ride! What fun!
First, I get on the subway at Atlantic Ave Brooklyn and this woman and her stupid babies got on and sat right next to me. Okay this is fine. I don't hate babies. Not normally.
But then 30 seconds into the ride this toddler, who was standing on the seat next to me, just places her ass on my shoulder. At first I was like, "okay she'll get up in a second" But then she didn't. And I had stranger baby diaper ass on my shoulder for an extended period of time. And her mother saw this and really didn't care. She was just sitting there talking to her children like it's normal that her kid was putting her ASS on my shoulder.
Why didn't she tell her to fucking sit down? You can't teach your kids that it's okay to put your ass on strangers!!
What would people do if I got on the train and put my ass on someone's shoulder? They would freak out! Because that is not acceptable behavior!
I don't put my ass on strangers because when I was very little my mother taught me that putting your ass on people is not nice!
So I got up and moved. And the mother shot me a look, like, "what my kid's ass isn't good enough for your shoulder?" I was going to go sit in the next car, but the conductor came out of his little thingy and I got scared. My only choice now was to sit next to a giant fat lady in one of those two people seats. I barely fit in the seat next to her, but once I sat down I didn't want to be rude and get right back up and stand there like and asshole.
Everyone already thinks I'm an asshole because of the ass incident. So I wait until we get to union square where I plan on jumping off the train and getting in the next car. I got up and stood by the doors and then the fat lady got up, so I sat back down. I looked like such a dick. Oh phew the fat lady's gone, nevermind, I'm not getting off here
Ugh whatever.
But then 30 seconds into the ride this toddler, who was standing on the seat next to me, just places her ass on my shoulder. At first I was like, "okay she'll get up in a second" But then she didn't. And I had stranger baby diaper ass on my shoulder for an extended period of time. And her mother saw this and really didn't care. She was just sitting there talking to her children like it's normal that her kid was putting her ASS on my shoulder.
Why didn't she tell her to fucking sit down? You can't teach your kids that it's okay to put your ass on strangers!!
What would people do if I got on the train and put my ass on someone's shoulder? They would freak out! Because that is not acceptable behavior!
I don't put my ass on strangers because when I was very little my mother taught me that putting your ass on people is not nice!
So I got up and moved. And the mother shot me a look, like, "what my kid's ass isn't good enough for your shoulder?" I was going to go sit in the next car, but the conductor came out of his little thingy and I got scared. My only choice now was to sit next to a giant fat lady in one of those two people seats. I barely fit in the seat next to her, but once I sat down I didn't want to be rude and get right back up and stand there like and asshole.
Everyone already thinks I'm an asshole because of the ass incident. So I wait until we get to union square where I plan on jumping off the train and getting in the next car. I got up and stood by the doors and then the fat lady got up, so I sat back down. I looked like such a dick. Oh phew the fat lady's gone, nevermind, I'm not getting off here
Ugh whatever.