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[pococurante]

Had an unexpected MRI today. Do you want to know why?
My nurses are worried the cancer might be spreading to the left side of my face.
I could possibly lose sight in my left eye if this progresses.
And they aren't sure what treatment to use yet.
But....hopefully in August they can hit everything with more radiation and get it out.

To make things even better, I have an infection in my mouth that kind of makes it hard to eat and swallow, but I can eat soft food. I'm enjoying yogurt and Ensure (yeah I know they are for old people but they taste so good).and toaster struedels and quesadillas and tortellini.

I've gained some weight, yay, and now I'm on Ritalin to help gain energy.

I'm going to start counseling.

I'm exhausted and stressed out but at least I am not pregnant.

I want to fucking scream and hit things and just get better. What the fucking hell can I do to beat this?!?!?!?

I can't give up. I can't let it take over. I can't lose. I can beat this. I AM beating this.

Why me, still? God I need a hug.

AAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!