259; i know i said "more later" on my last entry but i didn't mean quite this much later....lololol
There really isn't any other way for me to say this, I suppose, but the tumour was shrinking for a few months, after my first dose of radiation. In mid March, I had an MRI which showed it growing back, at a rate which might be alarming. I had to spend the night at the hospital the day the doctors found out, then started radiation the week after. I ended this round last Thursday. I'm on a fuck-ton of medications.
I also, unfortunately got a yeast infection in my mouth, which hurts and restricts me to soft foods. Yay for croissants, toaster streudels, Ensure, Instant Breakfast, rice, peanut butter, pasta, and Cream of Rice. :3 It'll hopefully be gone within a couple weeks. It was likely caused by the steroid I was taking, which lowered my immune system a bit. It sometimes makes me take 2 hours to eat dinner, lol.
My fucking radiation oncologist was talking with me, the night I had to stay in the hospital, about how if no more treatment works, I'll have to consider a hospice. FUCK NO. I'm not giving up. This is the most fucking terrifying nightmarish hell, like I'd just GIVE UP HELL NO.
Mint tea with honey is quite tasty. <3
I haven't really heard from anyone but family pretty much since I stopped coming here. Although I did get to go to Sakura Con, which was the weekend after I had to stay the one hospital night. After that though, radiation wiped me out for a bit. I thought I'd left my phone number around here somewhere, but apparently not. Robby, one of my exes from high school, and also an old old old family friend, called me though. He's really a sweetheart. I do miss him. We called each other twinpants, then we dated and dropped that for a bit coz it was a tad incestual, but once we broke up and got over breaking up and were able to be friends again, we picked it up again. I'd almost call him back right now, but it's 1.30 a.m.
Ugh we have too much laundry to do. And I also need to call about a clinical trial for a treatment in Portland. This is probably a long shot but do you guys know anything about clinical trials for chemo-resistant chondrosarcoma? I need ALL the help I can get to beat this. :)
HOLY SHIT I FINALLY HAVE PERSONA 3!!!!!!!!!!! Director's Cut, bitches. =D I'm fucking BROKE so if Silent Hill Origins is out right now I'll have to wait a while to get it. But until then, I'll be playing the shit out of P3. And Crevan and I got our own copies each of Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Rings of Fate and OMG multiplayer mode is so awesome. WE PWN!
I read I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb. Also, read Nineteen Minutes and My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. My Sister's Keeper actually angered me, probably because I just felt so jealous of how easy it was for her to get what she needed. :( Where's my easy way out? *sigh* It's not like I want something that BAD to happen, even if it'd cure me, because it would still suck. I just want a fucking cure! ^^;;
I'm all caught up in Bleach, at least the anime. I LOVE GRIMMJOW. YES. OMG LOVE.
Also, I've seen all but one episode of the first season of Saturday Night Live. I want the second season now!
Well, perhaps I'll be online more now. I just needed a break. I missed you all so much.
I even found myself really missing Efe. :S I need to just let that go. I hope her life is going well, but I just have to accept I'm not now nor never again will be part of it.
I miss the days when I thought I could be just like Harriet the Spy.
Also, I love my family and Crevan's so much. =D
I also, unfortunately got a yeast infection in my mouth, which hurts and restricts me to soft foods. Yay for croissants, toaster streudels, Ensure, Instant Breakfast, rice, peanut butter, pasta, and Cream of Rice. :3 It'll hopefully be gone within a couple weeks. It was likely caused by the steroid I was taking, which lowered my immune system a bit. It sometimes makes me take 2 hours to eat dinner, lol.
My fucking radiation oncologist was talking with me, the night I had to stay in the hospital, about how if no more treatment works, I'll have to consider a hospice. FUCK NO. I'm not giving up. This is the most fucking terrifying nightmarish hell, like I'd just GIVE UP HELL NO.
Mint tea with honey is quite tasty. <3
I haven't really heard from anyone but family pretty much since I stopped coming here. Although I did get to go to Sakura Con, which was the weekend after I had to stay the one hospital night. After that though, radiation wiped me out for a bit. I thought I'd left my phone number around here somewhere, but apparently not. Robby, one of my exes from high school, and also an old old old family friend, called me though. He's really a sweetheart. I do miss him. We called each other twinpants, then we dated and dropped that for a bit coz it was a tad incestual, but once we broke up and got over breaking up and were able to be friends again, we picked it up again. I'd almost call him back right now, but it's 1.30 a.m.
Ugh we have too much laundry to do. And I also need to call about a clinical trial for a treatment in Portland. This is probably a long shot but do you guys know anything about clinical trials for chemo-resistant chondrosarcoma? I need ALL the help I can get to beat this. :)
HOLY SHIT I FINALLY HAVE PERSONA 3!!!!!!!!!!! Director's Cut, bitches. =D I'm fucking BROKE so if Silent Hill Origins is out right now I'll have to wait a while to get it. But until then, I'll be playing the shit out of P3. And Crevan and I got our own copies each of Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Rings of Fate and OMG multiplayer mode is so awesome. WE PWN!
I read I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb. Also, read Nineteen Minutes and My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. My Sister's Keeper actually angered me, probably because I just felt so jealous of how easy it was for her to get what she needed. :( Where's my easy way out? *sigh* It's not like I want something that BAD to happen, even if it'd cure me, because it would still suck. I just want a fucking cure! ^^;;
I'm all caught up in Bleach, at least the anime. I LOVE GRIMMJOW. YES. OMG LOVE.
Also, I've seen all but one episode of the first season of Saturday Night Live. I want the second season now!
Well, perhaps I'll be online more now. I just needed a break. I missed you all so much.
I even found myself really missing Efe. :S I need to just let that go. I hope her life is going well, but I just have to accept I'm not now nor never again will be part of it.
I miss the days when I thought I could be just like Harriet the Spy.
Also, I love my family and Crevan's so much. =D