in fact, I have watched the pilot. I'm still right.
I read through this post and would like not to let it pass without comment. In the first part of my response I will do my best to explain how Dean’s behavior toward Sam meets a lot of the criteria for intimate partner abuse, because the OP does not seem to grasp the argument we are making. I will assume good faith, though - this is a difficult
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I would like to think that they have set up this elaborate story line this explore the nature of their relationship. It's incredibly deep though and I'm not really sure they are that capable. I mean, I'd love to think they are, but exploring an abusive sibling relationship probably isn't on their agenda. I'd like to be wrong, but considering the fact that I've not seen that many supportive comments for Sam (after the last episode) the message that Dean is abusive isn't coming across (though, it works much much better that it's not so obvious - a slow reveal is much more realistic - and damn painful!).
And I suppose victims can often be blamed. I myself have been caught thinking (in RL) "why doesn't she just leave him - obviously very weak" when hearing about someone who'd being abused (until I learned some truths about what it means to be in an abusive relationship). Dean is such a "glowing", heroic, character that we can only see his hurt in all this (it's got me so down recently - it's like Sam's only thing to do now is to thank Dean for saving him and fall back into line. :(( )
Last query. Dean's says he's poison. I figure he's meaning that people around him die (or "worse" he says referring to Sam). I wonder if this means he's beginning to acknowledge his pattern of abuse - or his nature? Or is it mostly just him thinking he's cursed and what happens to him (and around him) is out of his control? (you don't need to answer that. I'm just pondering stuff).
And also, I feel that Dean does deserve some sympathy. He has been created like this (from his upbringing and extraordinary life etc) and I genuinely feel that he wants to do the right thing by Sam and others that he loves - he just doesn't know how. He feels enormous remorse (and I can't help but think abusers generally don't? - though I may be wrong). I'm not defending or supporting him - I just think there are many layers in looking at the way in which Dean has been written and created. He's suffered too (and I know that's not an excuse for behaviours), but I think it helps to not end up hating a character that is amazing on many levels and has been loved for many years.
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Last query. Dean's says he's poison. I figure he's meaning that people around him die (or "worse" he says referring to Sam). I wonder if this means he's beginning to acknowledge his pattern of abuse - or his nature? Or is it mostly just him thinking he's cursed and what happens to him (and around him) is out of his control? (you don't need to answer that. I'm just pondering stuff).
My 2 cents on that is that there's a big difference between "I AM X" and "I DID X." You know? If Dean IS poison, then he can't be held morally accountable. It's still an attempt to get Sam to blame the universe and not him.
And also, I feel that Dean does deserve some sympathy. He has been created like this (from his upbringing and extraordinary life etc) and I genuinely feel that he wants to do the right thing by Sam and others that he loves - he just doesn't know how.
I mean, I don't think that's unreasonable? It's not that people who do bad things become instantly unsympathetic. I think SPN does a really good job with this, actually. I have sympathy for Crowley and the archangels and Ruby and everyone, all the way down. I....cannot really afford to sympathize with Dean at this point, because this (obviously) touches a nerve with me, but I don't think he ought to be unsympathetic to everyone. It's just that fandom right now likes to use that sympathy as an argument that not only is he entitled to inflict pain on Sam, but he's not actually abusing Sam, and that is what bothers me.
He feels enormous remorse (and I can't help but think abusers generally don't? - though I may be wrong).
It'd be....easier in some ways if all abusers were sociopaths and other deviants who are incapable of remorse, I think. Sadly, that's not the case.
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