girls love bad boys! but not for the reasons you think.
I was going to deny my rationalization-filled, navel-gazey, nosebleed-level theorizing on this? But then ever_neutral wrote this and kelpyfinners wrote this and I AM NOT MADE OF STONE, PEOPLE. Right now this is no longer locked because...I felt like it? Passing familiarity with TVD and Buffy will probably help, but I don't think there are a whole lot of specific spoilers
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I find myself identifying more with female characters overall, but there are some traits that just plain don't appear in female characters, where I am like, oh no, I'm Angel.
I do feel mixed about my identification with male characters. It's easier for me to like and get excited about female characters overall, but when I click with a male character, it's this laser-focused YOU ARE ME experience. Damon and Spike, almost as much as Wesley and Lee. I don't tend to have that exact reaction to female characters, though I slightly suspect I'll get there with Lady Mary Crowley when I get around to S2.
And I think that's in large part just because there's a wider range of male characters generally (ladies do not get Angel's or Wesley's messed-up post-Catholic conflict!), and performativity and insecurity in women tends so much to be tied to that super-specific hetero-romantic validation which leaves me irritated at best. But it's also that there's this qualified masculinity that I enjoy so, so much.
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This is me. If you ask me which character is my favorite from a given fandom, nine times out of ten it's going to be a lady. But, y'all, as much as I love Buffy or Scully or Martha Jones (and my love is INTENSE), I relate so, so much more to Spike or Mulder or Rory. I'm always surprised when I find a female character I actually relate to. I am still surprised by Annie Sawyer every time I see her on my screen.
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