I Have Realized...

[pockyjunkie]

...that I will forever be a fuck-up to my parents, because I will not change just because they don't like what I've become. I will not let go of the way I dress, what I stand for, what I believe is right or wrong. My morals will never agree with my parents, and my realtionships will never be what they want to have happen. They should be thankful, I am a good student, I don't do drugs, and I don't do anything too destructive to myself, and I don't want to, but all my dad does is preach to me about drugs and drinking, to me, in the back of the car. Yep, I can't even sit next to my dad as he's telling me this, because he doesn't let me sit in the front. I am not his equal, so I would never know what it's like to have a debate with them. I will never know what it will be like marrying someone that they love as much as me, I will never know, because No one, even myself, is good enough to them. I am just a possesion to them. I don't matter to them enough to be a person. I am just one more thing on the will. I have promised myself I will leave them someday, in hope of a better life, with someone I love. Whether they are next to me everyday or they are somewhere far away, I do not know. And I mean someone, not guy or girl, because I don't know what the future will bring for me. Whether it be a bouquet of dethorned roses, or the roses thorn and all, I don't know, I just know that there will be some good parts, the flowers themselves, in it.

I just need to find my escape, and a hand to hold, to guide me on my way.

Off to find my Rabbit Hole,
Donna