Fic: Tug of War ( ling/ed, russ/ed, meta, CRACK)
Title: Tug of War
Fandom: FMA
Pairing(s): ling/ed, russ/ed
warnings: pg-13 for elric cussing, crack ahead.
Russell Tringham leaned on the table in the green room, head in his hands. "For the third time, you pompous spoiled git.... There are two eds.
you don't need to challenge me over anything."
"Nevertheless..." the dark-haired man across from him lounged in his chair and smiled lazily. "I believe you are lying, peasant scum, and it is unseemly for a future emperor to share."
Russell brushed his hair out of his eyes and sat up, sighing. "Look. My Ed's done with. Series over, Movie waiting on translation, done with. Officially "stuck" on the other side of the gate." The blond counted things off on his fingers. "He's got angst. Can't you just leave 'im alone?"
"You just want to keep dear Edward all to yourself."
"Argh! Fine. Here. We'll play cards. You win, you can have him, alright?" Russell crossed his fingers under the table. "Is Go-Fish alright with you, your highness?"
A rousing round of go-fish, with many a snark and snipe, ensued.
The blond alchemist smacked his head against the table as the would-be-emperor fanned out his cards and carefully counted out the sets. "Oh dear. one set of three more. It seems like I win."
In an astonishingly coincidental display of bad timing, Russell's Ed limped into the green room, shucking his brown waistcoat and flopping into a chair. "By the gate, I hate that script...."
The blond plant alchemist immediately lept in front of him, arms spread wide as he blocked the emporer-to-be's predatory and gleeful attempt at a tackle.
"Oh, hell no! I don't know how, but you had to have cheated!" His aqua eyes glinted as he wrapped himself protectively around his shorter lover, who blinked irritable in confusion.
"Russ, what the hell is going on?"
Ling purred, smiling on them as he slunk up to take possession of movie-ed's other arm. "silly boy. You seem to forget I'm royalty! The future emperor of xing has no need to cheat, so I won him fair and square! " He purred and started to drag the irritable alchemist towards his own lavishly decorated dressing room. Russell responded by digging his heels in and resisting, stretching his lover's arms wide as he tried to pull Ed back the other direction.
"Would you both just LET GO OF ME!"
All three paused in their stuggles and glaced towards the door, the smaller Ed suspended in mid-air between the two would-be-lovers, as it opened and shut with a thud and admitted another Edward to the green room.
Manga-Ed paused, staring at the scene before him, and it took mere seconds for the Elric anger, aided by teenage hormones and a sense of self -righteuosness that could kill a horse, to kick in.
"Yao Ling, you mooching son of a bitch! What the hell do you think you're doing? Is one of me not enough for you, you bastard?" Ling let go of movie-ed's srm, glancing interestedly between the two golden-eyed males.
"Ah, so you were not lying, there are two of him. but you still lost, so I get him, too, yes?"
Both edwards stepped towards eachother, glaring at their lovers as they opened their mouths to complain
"Are you calling my russ a liar? and you can't win me-"
"You insufferable greedy prick! Of course there are two of me, there's multiple storyl-"
The edwards trailed off simultaneously, turning towards eachother and sharing an evil grin.
"Hello there, Edward. my lover is an insufferably charming foreign bastard who can't do anything by himself except steal other people's food. You are also damn hot, if I do say so myself. Wanna snog?"
"Hi there, Ed. My lover's alright, but he apparently just lost all right to date me ina game of ..." Movie Ed glanced at the cards strewn cross the table and frowned. "Go fish. So I'm not too pleased with him right now. And yes, I would love a good snog."
He took his smaller manga counterpart's face in his gloved hands and leaned in for a long, sloppy kiss, the younger boy threading his fingers through the elder's long ponytail.
they were both smiling as they pulled back, manga Ed adjusting his red overcoat with a smirk. "Interesting."
"Indeed. I propose we do more research."
"For science, of course."
The two Eds left the green room, leaving their lovers gaping and flabergasted behind them.
Once Russell found his voice again, he sunk into his chair at the table and began to shuffle the cards.
"So... rematch?"
Because i'm on crack. As always, comments and concrit luffled and cookie'd.
Fandom: FMA
Pairing(s): ling/ed, russ/ed
warnings: pg-13 for elric cussing, crack ahead.
Russell Tringham leaned on the table in the green room, head in his hands. "For the third time, you pompous spoiled git.... There are two eds.
you don't need to challenge me over anything."
"Nevertheless..." the dark-haired man across from him lounged in his chair and smiled lazily. "I believe you are lying, peasant scum, and it is unseemly for a future emperor to share."
Russell brushed his hair out of his eyes and sat up, sighing. "Look. My Ed's done with. Series over, Movie waiting on translation, done with. Officially "stuck" on the other side of the gate." The blond counted things off on his fingers. "He's got angst. Can't you just leave 'im alone?"
"You just want to keep dear Edward all to yourself."
"Argh! Fine. Here. We'll play cards. You win, you can have him, alright?" Russell crossed his fingers under the table. "Is Go-Fish alright with you, your highness?"
A rousing round of go-fish, with many a snark and snipe, ensued.
The blond alchemist smacked his head against the table as the would-be-emperor fanned out his cards and carefully counted out the sets. "Oh dear. one set of three more. It seems like I win."
In an astonishingly coincidental display of bad timing, Russell's Ed limped into the green room, shucking his brown waistcoat and flopping into a chair. "By the gate, I hate that script...."
The blond plant alchemist immediately lept in front of him, arms spread wide as he blocked the emporer-to-be's predatory and gleeful attempt at a tackle.
"Oh, hell no! I don't know how, but you had to have cheated!" His aqua eyes glinted as he wrapped himself protectively around his shorter lover, who blinked irritable in confusion.
"Russ, what the hell is going on?"
Ling purred, smiling on them as he slunk up to take possession of movie-ed's other arm. "silly boy. You seem to forget I'm royalty! The future emperor of xing has no need to cheat, so I won him fair and square! " He purred and started to drag the irritable alchemist towards his own lavishly decorated dressing room. Russell responded by digging his heels in and resisting, stretching his lover's arms wide as he tried to pull Ed back the other direction.
"Would you both just LET GO OF ME!"
All three paused in their stuggles and glaced towards the door, the smaller Ed suspended in mid-air between the two would-be-lovers, as it opened and shut with a thud and admitted another Edward to the green room.
Manga-Ed paused, staring at the scene before him, and it took mere seconds for the Elric anger, aided by teenage hormones and a sense of self -righteuosness that could kill a horse, to kick in.
"Yao Ling, you mooching son of a bitch! What the hell do you think you're doing? Is one of me not enough for you, you bastard?" Ling let go of movie-ed's srm, glancing interestedly between the two golden-eyed males.
"Ah, so you were not lying, there are two of him. but you still lost, so I get him, too, yes?"
Both edwards stepped towards eachother, glaring at their lovers as they opened their mouths to complain
"Are you calling my russ a liar? and you can't win me-"
"You insufferable greedy prick! Of course there are two of me, there's multiple storyl-"
The edwards trailed off simultaneously, turning towards eachother and sharing an evil grin.
"Hello there, Edward. my lover is an insufferably charming foreign bastard who can't do anything by himself except steal other people's food. You are also damn hot, if I do say so myself. Wanna snog?"
"Hi there, Ed. My lover's alright, but he apparently just lost all right to date me ina game of ..." Movie Ed glanced at the cards strewn cross the table and frowned. "Go fish. So I'm not too pleased with him right now. And yes, I would love a good snog."
He took his smaller manga counterpart's face in his gloved hands and leaned in for a long, sloppy kiss, the younger boy threading his fingers through the elder's long ponytail.
they were both smiling as they pulled back, manga Ed adjusting his red overcoat with a smirk. "Interesting."
"Indeed. I propose we do more research."
"For science, of course."
The two Eds left the green room, leaving their lovers gaping and flabergasted behind them.
Once Russell found his voice again, he sunk into his chair at the table and began to shuffle the cards.
"So... rematch?"
Because i'm on crack. As always, comments and concrit luffled and cookie'd.