x-men evolution watch-along, week 2: "the x-impulse"
Welcome back to our X-Men: Evolution recaps!
Today we bring you S01E02: "The X-Impulse," yet another title that has nothing to do with the actual content, which is mostly about teen dating violence and Valley Girl Kitty's origin story.
We start with Kitty asleep in her bedroom, having that flying/falling dream that everyone seems to have except me. Except that Kitty is really falling and wakes up screaming on the floor in the basement, with her bedclothes half-phased through the ceiling and some foreboding looks from her parents.
Meanwhile, a time-zone over in North Salem, Chuck is just doing some late-night Cerebro-ing, nothing weird about that, when he gets the alert that a mutant's power has manifested. He decides that he and Jean will go fetch the new mutant because she will "better understand what [Kitty]'s going through," ie: because she's a girl.
The boys, however, have to go to school, and Kurt is late. He's even later after he spends a couple minutes conspicuously looking around to make sure no one is looking before teleporting like, ten feet away. Seriously, it would be faster to walk. Vice-Principal Mystique gives him some shit about it, but Scott appears to rescue him and usher him off to class.
Back in Illinois (I'm assuming, given that's where comics!Kitty is from), Kitty's parents give Chuck and Jean the brush-off. I mean, I would too. Chuck doesn't bother with a tie and Jean's wearing a midriff-bearing top and flip-flops. Class it up a little, guys.
And now back to Westchester, where Wolverine is cleaning his bike, only to smell Sabertooth. He leaps to the top of the school, his majestic 90s hair blowing in the wind as he spies Sabertooth on his motorcycle on a far off road. He then leaps down and begins to put on his costume in a sequence that is BEGGING for some magical girl music to be playing in the background. Someone please do this mash-up.
He rushes off and, since they don't have anything else to do in this episode and they're supposed to be title characters, Scott and Kurt follow in Scott's bright red convertible, because the X-Van would be too conspicuous.
Kitty, meanwhile, is being beat up on by Mean Girls at school who shove her in a locker. She uses her powers to escape just as Lance Alvers is walking by graffiti-ing the lockers. He tries to woo her into using her powers for evil, but she freaks out and runs to gym, which she is late for. Her teacher pairs her up with the Mean Girls as Lance sneaks out with his buddies to watch. He thinks Kitty is the perfect final key to their plot to steal test scores from some teacher and tries to gain her trust by unleashing his powers to make the Mean Girls look stupid. Kitty freaks out and runs away again, taking cover in the theatre building where Jean, having witnessed Lance's shenans, follows her.
Jean tries to appeal to her by explaining that she, too, has weird powers that are like, totally lame. For some reason in this scene Jean sounds like a 40 year old woman and Kitty sounds like a caricature of what the writers thought a teenager talks like, dialed up to eleven. It's hilarious.
Kitty flees AGAIN. It's her main role in this episode. Then Lance comes by and tells Jean that Kitty is HIS girl and he doesn't like her talking to anyone else. He follows Kitty and tells her only HE can help her control her powers--she needs to meet him outside of the main office in an hour. Charles and Jean have a cellphone chat (because I guess they're too lazy to use telepathy) which Charles ends with "XAVIER OUT" (not even kidding) and then make a pithy joke about being unable to descend stairs in his wheelchair. (How did he get up them in the first place?)
Back in the B-plot, Wolverine and Sabertooth fight. It's boring. Sabertooth says something that sounds like there's a prophecy about them in a bottle in the Ministry of Magic and nearly kills Wolvie until the kids intervene. He Lone Wolfs at them about Fighting His Own Battles. B-plot over.
At Kitty's high school, Lance ~*~teaches her to control her power~*~ by phasing into the principal's office. While Kitty is tearfully excited about learning about herself, controlling herself, etc. he steals test answers, changes grades, and tells her it's all for The Greater Good (the greater good) in a world where humans are mean to mutants, etc. Kitty's parents show up at the school, Chuck seemingly unconcerned that Jean is in her X-uniform when they do so, and the three of them barge into the Principal's office to appeal to Kitty's better nature. It works and Lance freaks out, avalanching all over the place at them until the building starts to fall down around them. He grabs Kitty to bring her with him, but she sees the error of her ways and phases out of his grip. She saves her parents and Jean from the collapsing building and agrees to go back to Westchester with Jean and Chuck.
Lance, meanwhile, is pretty sure he's about to be expelled, but Vice-Principal Mystique shows up and offers to transfer him to Bayville.
(Aside: Why is it called Bayville? It's not by a bay.)
Next Week! Goth!Rogue has two mommies, ridiculous accents, and a title that makes sense in "Rogue Recruit!"
Today we bring you S01E02: "The X-Impulse," yet another title that has nothing to do with the actual content, which is mostly about teen dating violence and Valley Girl Kitty's origin story.
We start with Kitty asleep in her bedroom, having that flying/falling dream that everyone seems to have except me. Except that Kitty is really falling and wakes up screaming on the floor in the basement, with her bedclothes half-phased through the ceiling and some foreboding looks from her parents.
Meanwhile, a time-zone over in North Salem, Chuck is just doing some late-night Cerebro-ing, nothing weird about that, when he gets the alert that a mutant's power has manifested. He decides that he and Jean will go fetch the new mutant because she will "better understand what [Kitty]'s going through," ie: because she's a girl.
The boys, however, have to go to school, and Kurt is late. He's even later after he spends a couple minutes conspicuously looking around to make sure no one is looking before teleporting like, ten feet away. Seriously, it would be faster to walk. Vice-Principal Mystique gives him some shit about it, but Scott appears to rescue him and usher him off to class.
Back in Illinois (I'm assuming, given that's where comics!Kitty is from), Kitty's parents give Chuck and Jean the brush-off. I mean, I would too. Chuck doesn't bother with a tie and Jean's wearing a midriff-bearing top and flip-flops. Class it up a little, guys.
And now back to Westchester, where Wolverine is cleaning his bike, only to smell Sabertooth. He leaps to the top of the school, his majestic 90s hair blowing in the wind as he spies Sabertooth on his motorcycle on a far off road. He then leaps down and begins to put on his costume in a sequence that is BEGGING for some magical girl music to be playing in the background. Someone please do this mash-up.
He rushes off and, since they don't have anything else to do in this episode and they're supposed to be title characters, Scott and Kurt follow in Scott's bright red convertible, because the X-Van would be too conspicuous.
Kitty, meanwhile, is being beat up on by Mean Girls at school who shove her in a locker. She uses her powers to escape just as Lance Alvers is walking by graffiti-ing the lockers. He tries to woo her into using her powers for evil, but she freaks out and runs to gym, which she is late for. Her teacher pairs her up with the Mean Girls as Lance sneaks out with his buddies to watch. He thinks Kitty is the perfect final key to their plot to steal test scores from some teacher and tries to gain her trust by unleashing his powers to make the Mean Girls look stupid. Kitty freaks out and runs away again, taking cover in the theatre building where Jean, having witnessed Lance's shenans, follows her.
Jean tries to appeal to her by explaining that she, too, has weird powers that are like, totally lame. For some reason in this scene Jean sounds like a 40 year old woman and Kitty sounds like a caricature of what the writers thought a teenager talks like, dialed up to eleven. It's hilarious.
Kitty flees AGAIN. It's her main role in this episode. Then Lance comes by and tells Jean that Kitty is HIS girl and he doesn't like her talking to anyone else. He follows Kitty and tells her only HE can help her control her powers--she needs to meet him outside of the main office in an hour. Charles and Jean have a cellphone chat (because I guess they're too lazy to use telepathy) which Charles ends with "XAVIER OUT" (not even kidding) and then make a pithy joke about being unable to descend stairs in his wheelchair. (How did he get up them in the first place?)
Back in the B-plot, Wolverine and Sabertooth fight. It's boring. Sabertooth says something that sounds like there's a prophecy about them in a bottle in the Ministry of Magic and nearly kills Wolvie until the kids intervene. He Lone Wolfs at them about Fighting His Own Battles. B-plot over.
At Kitty's high school, Lance ~*~teaches her to control her power~*~ by phasing into the principal's office. While Kitty is tearfully excited about learning about herself, controlling herself, etc. he steals test answers, changes grades, and tells her it's all for The Greater Good (the greater good) in a world where humans are mean to mutants, etc. Kitty's parents show up at the school, Chuck seemingly unconcerned that Jean is in her X-uniform when they do so, and the three of them barge into the Principal's office to appeal to Kitty's better nature. It works and Lance freaks out, avalanching all over the place at them until the building starts to fall down around them. He grabs Kitty to bring her with him, but she sees the error of her ways and phases out of his grip. She saves her parents and Jean from the collapsing building and agrees to go back to Westchester with Jean and Chuck.
Lance, meanwhile, is pretty sure he's about to be expelled, but Vice-Principal Mystique shows up and offers to transfer him to Bayville.
(Aside: Why is it called Bayville? It's not by a bay.)
Next Week! Goth!Rogue has two mommies, ridiculous accents, and a title that makes sense in "Rogue Recruit!"