life
Ugh, internet. It's February :(
So, Boston has gotten 40+ inches of snow in the past ten days. We got a million snow a week ago Tuesday and an additional million snow on Monday. There is a million more snow coming this weekend. I am losing the will to live.
Everything is a mess and up in the air because of the snow. All my work things, my job interview, my life, etc.
Also, I am sad.
***
TONIGHT I am going to see ivy_rat and I am very excited! I haven't seen her since last winter when I stayed with her out in CA for a week. While I was out there that time, I read a draft of Scott's book and the book was released on Tuesday! I'm excited to see what the final version looks like!
Mostly, though, I'm excited to see Ivy at the start of this crazy whirlwind year for her.
***
I have had zero energy for a couple days now, even less than usual. I'm trying to eat, drink coffee, sleep at least seven or eight hours a night, all the usual things, but it's not helping. It's just that all over exhaustion and ache that follows me all day. It's nuts.
I'm sure it's a brain thing. The brain things are pretty bad right now. I'm down to adding "eat" and "sleep" to my to-do lists, because that makes me feel accomplished, even if it's been two days and I still haven't taken the garbage out, you know? But, ugh, hopefully I can power through. Being sad is terrible. I'm sad all the time, unless I'm just numb.
I've been too tired to get much writing done, despite doing that month-long project. I've gotten stuff written every day so far, but every day after the first I've thrown out ideas for longer things to write something very short because I didn't think I'd have the energy to push through something long. Also, due to my choice to not post on AO3 til I'm done, I've been pretty low on external validation. I'm mostly doing this as a challenge to myself, but it's nice to hear that people are enjoying it, you know? idk.
But my neuroses are all definitely being weird. All the paranoia and self-consciousness and "everyone thinks I'm a terrible friend because I AM a terrible friend and no one really likes me" are def battering at my brain, though I'm doing my best to ignore them. Blargh.
Anyway...this too shall pass.
***
I've been futzing around with online dating again in a low stress, not really looking but open to other people talking to me kind of way and I am apparently very attractive to women with graduate degrees. I'm super intimidated by that, even though ALMOST EVERYONE I KNOW HAS A GRADUATE DEGREE mostly because I know a lot of librarians, but still. It is very strange.
The point is, though, that I've been kind of futzing around with that and it's always nice to see the wider world is just as full of weird and funny and awkward people. Just surfing profiles gives me this weird, happy feeling that all of these people, within ten miles of where I'm standing, are out there existing and living their lives and nervous about meeting new people. It's strangely comforting.
***
Other good things:
Now I'm going to go...try to write some, I guess.
So, Boston has gotten 40+ inches of snow in the past ten days. We got a million snow a week ago Tuesday and an additional million snow on Monday. There is a million more snow coming this weekend. I am losing the will to live.
Everything is a mess and up in the air because of the snow. All my work things, my job interview, my life, etc.
Also, I am sad.
***
TONIGHT I am going to see ivy_rat and I am very excited! I haven't seen her since last winter when I stayed with her out in CA for a week. While I was out there that time, I read a draft of Scott's book and the book was released on Tuesday! I'm excited to see what the final version looks like!
Mostly, though, I'm excited to see Ivy at the start of this crazy whirlwind year for her.
***
I have had zero energy for a couple days now, even less than usual. I'm trying to eat, drink coffee, sleep at least seven or eight hours a night, all the usual things, but it's not helping. It's just that all over exhaustion and ache that follows me all day. It's nuts.
I'm sure it's a brain thing. The brain things are pretty bad right now. I'm down to adding "eat" and "sleep" to my to-do lists, because that makes me feel accomplished, even if it's been two days and I still haven't taken the garbage out, you know? But, ugh, hopefully I can power through. Being sad is terrible. I'm sad all the time, unless I'm just numb.
I've been too tired to get much writing done, despite doing that month-long project. I've gotten stuff written every day so far, but every day after the first I've thrown out ideas for longer things to write something very short because I didn't think I'd have the energy to push through something long. Also, due to my choice to not post on AO3 til I'm done, I've been pretty low on external validation. I'm mostly doing this as a challenge to myself, but it's nice to hear that people are enjoying it, you know? idk.
But my neuroses are all definitely being weird. All the paranoia and self-consciousness and "everyone thinks I'm a terrible friend because I AM a terrible friend and no one really likes me" are def battering at my brain, though I'm doing my best to ignore them. Blargh.
Anyway...this too shall pass.
***
I've been futzing around with online dating again in a low stress, not really looking but open to other people talking to me kind of way and I am apparently very attractive to women with graduate degrees. I'm super intimidated by that, even though ALMOST EVERYONE I KNOW HAS A GRADUATE DEGREE mostly because I know a lot of librarians, but still. It is very strange.
The point is, though, that I've been kind of futzing around with that and it's always nice to see the wider world is just as full of weird and funny and awkward people. Just surfing profiles gives me this weird, happy feeling that all of these people, within ten miles of where I'm standing, are out there existing and living their lives and nervous about meeting new people. It's strangely comforting.
***
Other good things:
- cygnaut is coming to visit soon and I am KEENLY looking forward to it.
- GALENTINE'S DAY!!! I'm only halfway prepared, but I still have some time, thankfully! I need to finish the baskets and do a couple other things.
- Agent Carter continues to be SO DELIGHTFUL and make me SO HAPPY.
- The last few Parks and Rec are airing and I fear I will never love another show the way I love this one :( :( :(
- We finished watching CriMinds! At least, all the CriMinds on Netflix. Now we're rewatching Archer because we're indecisive.
- I'm a member of the eShakti Gold Club because I have terrible impulse control, but on the plus side, they had a sale at the end of January and I had a ZILLION coupons because of my Gold membership, so I have a bunch of new, cheap stuff coming my way today and tomorrow, fingers crossed. (The snow has mucked up shipping, of course.)
- I went to the library and found out an author who's debut I loved several years ago eventually released the constantly in limbo sequel AND a YA book that is rtmi.
- Hayley Atwell's face exists.
- Anne-Marie went to the premiere of McAvoy's play and looked adorbs.
- I'm wearing galaxy leggings today. Let's ignore the fact that most of my outfit doesn't match.
Now I'm going to go...try to write some, I guess.