and february was so long that it lasted into march
So, February has been happening.
Uh......it's been rough. Really rough. Rougher than usual, I think, because of the relentless snow. It's not even been that much more than usual? It's just the frequency. Snow storm after snow storm. It's awful.
So it's been rough. A lot of crying, a lot of having zero energy, a lot of wanting to disappear, a lot of bad thought spirals and just numbness and paralysis and wishing I could sleep forever.
idk, it seems really boring and silly when you write it all out. I'm getting towards the other side, I think? Daylight Savings is in two weeks and I haven't cried all day since...Wednesday? Thursday? It's been a couple solid days, at least.
It's just been really bleak. I've not written much, and no one has been writing the kind of stuff I want to read, so I've mostly been staring into space or refreshing tumblr without really looking at anything, listening to my usual mental refrain about how I don't like any of the things anyone else likes and I don't fit in at all so of course nobody likes me, etc.
Bad thought spirals. They're the worst. It got so bad for a couple of days that I even lost my usual, "You know what this is, you just have to wait it out" grounding. I've mostly got that back, so while things aren't better, exactly, I at least have faith that things will get better eventually.
I feel like my mental health is all I talk about here any more. I'm sorry. I'm trying to be better. Hopefully I'll be able to get back on top of things and occasionally talk about fun things again!
***
Speaking of, one of the things I ended up doing while I was super depressed was marathon all of Gravity Falls. Like, three times. I knew I needed something happy and fun and I had been meaning to watch it for a while, so I started it on a whim and...I'm kind of obsessed. The characters are just so great! It's funny and sweet and they overarching mystery is cool. I'm super charmed by it, obviously, given how many times I've watched some of the episodes. I JUST LOVE MABEL PINES SO MUCH. Like, my life goal is to be as chill and cute and enthusiastic as Mabel. And the sibling relationship and the elements of found family (even if some of it is blood family) and the jokes and the mysteries and WADDLES and it's just great. I HIGHLY recommend it.
***
I actually haven't been doing much else. I finally saw S3 of Sherlock, which was as weird and adorable as mcwonthelottery promised. I LOVE Mary Morstan. Although, tragically, apparently no one is writing good John/Mary/Sherlock fic, so that sucks. Um...I watched Ambassadors, which was pretty good! Mostly I just can't help marveling at how GREAT Robert Webb was in it. Like, David Mitchell was great, but he basically played a slightly more dramatic version of his usual character, but Robert Webb just...really impressed me. He was excellent. We watched all of Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23, which was surprisingly funny and enjoyable! I finally saw Pacific Rim, which I did not enjoy as much as the internet led me to believe I would. Oh well. I've seen The Lego Movie twice, and it was SO funny and SO sweet.
Honestly, I mostly just sat on the couch in various hoodies, being sad. There are some good things coming up to look forward to, so, fingers crossed for coming out of it soon.
***
Anyway, I hope you guys are doing okay. I've still been reading every day ♥
Uh......it's been rough. Really rough. Rougher than usual, I think, because of the relentless snow. It's not even been that much more than usual? It's just the frequency. Snow storm after snow storm. It's awful.
So it's been rough. A lot of crying, a lot of having zero energy, a lot of wanting to disappear, a lot of bad thought spirals and just numbness and paralysis and wishing I could sleep forever.
idk, it seems really boring and silly when you write it all out. I'm getting towards the other side, I think? Daylight Savings is in two weeks and I haven't cried all day since...Wednesday? Thursday? It's been a couple solid days, at least.
It's just been really bleak. I've not written much, and no one has been writing the kind of stuff I want to read, so I've mostly been staring into space or refreshing tumblr without really looking at anything, listening to my usual mental refrain about how I don't like any of the things anyone else likes and I don't fit in at all so of course nobody likes me, etc.
Bad thought spirals. They're the worst. It got so bad for a couple of days that I even lost my usual, "You know what this is, you just have to wait it out" grounding. I've mostly got that back, so while things aren't better, exactly, I at least have faith that things will get better eventually.
I feel like my mental health is all I talk about here any more. I'm sorry. I'm trying to be better. Hopefully I'll be able to get back on top of things and occasionally talk about fun things again!
***
Speaking of, one of the things I ended up doing while I was super depressed was marathon all of Gravity Falls. Like, three times. I knew I needed something happy and fun and I had been meaning to watch it for a while, so I started it on a whim and...I'm kind of obsessed. The characters are just so great! It's funny and sweet and they overarching mystery is cool. I'm super charmed by it, obviously, given how many times I've watched some of the episodes. I JUST LOVE MABEL PINES SO MUCH. Like, my life goal is to be as chill and cute and enthusiastic as Mabel. And the sibling relationship and the elements of found family (even if some of it is blood family) and the jokes and the mysteries and WADDLES and it's just great. I HIGHLY recommend it.
***
I actually haven't been doing much else. I finally saw S3 of Sherlock, which was as weird and adorable as mcwonthelottery promised. I LOVE Mary Morstan. Although, tragically, apparently no one is writing good John/Mary/Sherlock fic, so that sucks. Um...I watched Ambassadors, which was pretty good! Mostly I just can't help marveling at how GREAT Robert Webb was in it. Like, David Mitchell was great, but he basically played a slightly more dramatic version of his usual character, but Robert Webb just...really impressed me. He was excellent. We watched all of Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23, which was surprisingly funny and enjoyable! I finally saw Pacific Rim, which I did not enjoy as much as the internet led me to believe I would. Oh well. I've seen The Lego Movie twice, and it was SO funny and SO sweet.
Honestly, I mostly just sat on the couch in various hoodies, being sad. There are some good things coming up to look forward to, so, fingers crossed for coming out of it soon.
***
Anyway, I hope you guys are doing okay. I've still been reading every day ♥