the morning after
Hahahahaha, oh man, internet.
So, clearly last night was a bit of a trip. After having eaten nothing but sugar, chugging that entire bottle of champagne in half an hour probably wasn't my most brilliant plan ever. I only wrote one ficlet (and you can tell I was drunk because it contradicts itself and Peter puts his arm around Neal twice) and two twitter!fics and then spent most of the rest of the time begging solsticezero for validation and, apparently, writing a four paragraph babbling apology to the TW contingent my flist about how I still love them even if they are so supportive of S4 and I just want to feel like I'm a part of something and woe is me.
Thankfully, I had the sense not to post it. Also, in the middle of it I went on a hilarious tangent about how Gary's eyestalk broke off and my dad.
***
ANYWAY. Today dawned BRIGHT and AMAZING and weird. It still hasn't really sunken in that I don't have to go back to The Bookstore ever again. Yesterday was really bittersweet but also... not. I hadn't expected them to do anything for me since I've been the one arranging cakes and such for the people leaving, but when I walked in, MusicManager had made cupcakes for me and one of the booksellers had bought some from Stop'n'Shop. FormerBoss had a card that everyone signed and two of my favorite booksellers were all huggy and wonderful. So I teared up a little and then went outside and there was a mess and I was back to normal.
Then, FormerBoss came to say goodbye and I tried to be stoic, but as soon as she left, I started to sob. We don't always get along and we don't always agree, but she's been something of a surrogate mother to me (probably because her daughter is exactly my age) and we've confided in each other a lot and... yeah. It was sad. I'm going to miss her so much.
I cried when I said goodbye to MusicManger, too, and got a little misty with some of the cafe staff, but in general, it was like a normal night. A quiet night, even, for a Saturday. I was done by 10:30 and spent the last half hour helping out on the floor because there was nothing to do.
It's the end of an era, certainly. The place frigging drove me crazy a lot of the time, but I'll miss the books like a limb or an organ or something else vital. I'll miss not being on top of all the new releases and knowing everything ever about kids' books. I foresee myself spending a lot of time at the library that is conveniently up the street from my new apartment, but it won't be the same.
It's good, though, that I feel this way, I suppose. I kind of want to miss the good parts of the job. If I had been there and miserable so long that I was like, "Fuck this shit, I'm outta here!" I would have lost the good memories too, I think.
***
Anyway, some other good things happened together. Good packing things! For one, I found these when unpacking a box of blankets and sheets I had been missing since Purchase:
Yes, those are Rent castmember name plates that I got at the BC/EFA Broadway Flea Market, like, six years ago. I laughed so hard.
Also, my dad made my YEAR when he found these, which had been missing for a distressingly long time:
ALL MY SGA DVDS. Those of you here for FGTP! might remember that I couldn't find any but S1 and was slightly panicked. As I began packing, I STILL couldn't find them and was getting desperate. This morning, this happened:
Dad: I think I have some of your dvds downstairs. Stargate Atlantis?
Kait: OMGWTFYES! ::runs::
Dad: I've never seen you move that fast! Not for dinner, not for dessert, not when you're late.
Kait: I THOUGHT THEY WERE LOST FOREVER. ::clutches DVDs to her bosom::
Now I'm in full on nostalgia mode. REMEMBER "HARMONY?" REMEMBER "MCKAY AND MRS. MILLER?" REMEMBER "ECHOES?" Oh god, "Echoes." WHALES WHALES WHALES. Rodney is friends with whales! HE NAMED IT SAM. "Sam is a boy's name too!"
I love their faces. I can't wait to see DHew and Jason at D*Con! Also, Paul. Because even though I still don't care about Carson, I care A LOT about Paul.
Speaking of SGA, I could read JFlan's frigging Twitter all day. Every post is AMAZING. Especially his drinking binge with Jason. WHAT EVEN, JFLAN? WHAT EVEN. LOVE.
***
Okay. I need to take a shower and pack some clothes and DVDs. I just made plans for moving weekend with quatredeathlady and my parents, and I am seeing saidlian_nataly tomorrow, _morning_glow on Tuesday, and steventartick on Thursday. I'll hunt daisy_moonstars and harmonyangel as well, at some point, even if it's just a quick hello and goodbye.
I suppose I should see my family, too.
And I'll be back. I know I will. Baby showers and weddings and holidays and such. I actually just got a save-the-date card in the mail from someone I haven't talked to in years. Um. wtf. I am not going to your wedding? So, yeah, not THAT wedding, but other things XD
But! Sherlock tonight and packing until then. Then maybe drinking a bit more so that I can write a drunk Sherlock fic for lurkmuch and capitalize on our shared fandom.
So, clearly last night was a bit of a trip. After having eaten nothing but sugar, chugging that entire bottle of champagne in half an hour probably wasn't my most brilliant plan ever. I only wrote one ficlet (and you can tell I was drunk because it contradicts itself and Peter puts his arm around Neal twice) and two twitter!fics and then spent most of the rest of the time begging solsticezero for validation and, apparently, writing a four paragraph babbling apology to the TW contingent my flist about how I still love them even if they are so supportive of S4 and I just want to feel like I'm a part of something and woe is me.
Thankfully, I had the sense not to post it. Also, in the middle of it I went on a hilarious tangent about how Gary's eyestalk broke off and my dad.
***
ANYWAY. Today dawned BRIGHT and AMAZING and weird. It still hasn't really sunken in that I don't have to go back to The Bookstore ever again. Yesterday was really bittersweet but also... not. I hadn't expected them to do anything for me since I've been the one arranging cakes and such for the people leaving, but when I walked in, MusicManager had made cupcakes for me and one of the booksellers had bought some from Stop'n'Shop. FormerBoss had a card that everyone signed and two of my favorite booksellers were all huggy and wonderful. So I teared up a little and then went outside and there was a mess and I was back to normal.
Then, FormerBoss came to say goodbye and I tried to be stoic, but as soon as she left, I started to sob. We don't always get along and we don't always agree, but she's been something of a surrogate mother to me (probably because her daughter is exactly my age) and we've confided in each other a lot and... yeah. It was sad. I'm going to miss her so much.
I cried when I said goodbye to MusicManger, too, and got a little misty with some of the cafe staff, but in general, it was like a normal night. A quiet night, even, for a Saturday. I was done by 10:30 and spent the last half hour helping out on the floor because there was nothing to do.
It's the end of an era, certainly. The place frigging drove me crazy a lot of the time, but I'll miss the books like a limb or an organ or something else vital. I'll miss not being on top of all the new releases and knowing everything ever about kids' books. I foresee myself spending a lot of time at the library that is conveniently up the street from my new apartment, but it won't be the same.
It's good, though, that I feel this way, I suppose. I kind of want to miss the good parts of the job. If I had been there and miserable so long that I was like, "Fuck this shit, I'm outta here!" I would have lost the good memories too, I think.
***
Anyway, some other good things happened together. Good packing things! For one, I found these when unpacking a box of blankets and sheets I had been missing since Purchase:
Yes, those are Rent castmember name plates that I got at the BC/EFA Broadway Flea Market, like, six years ago. I laughed so hard.
Also, my dad made my YEAR when he found these, which had been missing for a distressingly long time:
ALL MY SGA DVDS. Those of you here for FGTP! might remember that I couldn't find any but S1 and was slightly panicked. As I began packing, I STILL couldn't find them and was getting desperate. This morning, this happened:
Dad: I think I have some of your dvds downstairs. Stargate Atlantis?
Kait: OMGWTFYES! ::runs::
Dad: I've never seen you move that fast! Not for dinner, not for dessert, not when you're late.
Kait: I THOUGHT THEY WERE LOST FOREVER. ::clutches DVDs to her bosom::
Now I'm in full on nostalgia mode. REMEMBER "HARMONY?" REMEMBER "MCKAY AND MRS. MILLER?" REMEMBER "ECHOES?" Oh god, "Echoes." WHALES WHALES WHALES. Rodney is friends with whales! HE NAMED IT SAM. "Sam is a boy's name too!"
I love their faces. I can't wait to see DHew and Jason at D*Con! Also, Paul. Because even though I still don't care about Carson, I care A LOT about Paul.
Speaking of SGA, I could read JFlan's frigging Twitter all day. Every post is AMAZING. Especially his drinking binge with Jason. WHAT EVEN, JFLAN? WHAT EVEN. LOVE.
***
Okay. I need to take a shower and pack some clothes and DVDs. I just made plans for moving weekend with quatredeathlady and my parents, and I am seeing saidlian_nataly tomorrow, _morning_glow on Tuesday, and steventartick on Thursday. I'll hunt daisy_moonstars and harmonyangel as well, at some point, even if it's just a quick hello and goodbye.
I suppose I should see my family, too.
And I'll be back. I know I will. Baby showers and weddings and holidays and such. I actually just got a save-the-date card in the mail from someone I haven't talked to in years. Um. wtf. I am not going to your wedding? So, yeah, not THAT wedding, but other things XD
But! Sherlock tonight and packing until then. Then maybe drinking a bit more so that I can write a drunk Sherlock fic for lurkmuch and capitalize on our shared fandom.