torchwood ficlet that is pretty much crack!
Let's not talk about today, internet.
***
So, I had to send solsticezero a package. While idly thinking about that package on a very slow day at The Bookstore, I decided to write something to go with it. I opened up the book closest to me (Henry and Mudge: The First Book) to a random page (page 11) and took the first thing I saw as a prompt (an illustration of Mudge standing on top of Henry and drooling all over him).
Then I scribbled out a quick ficlet, changed my mind about the plot halfway through, was too lazy to go back and re-write it from scratch, and decided to just go with it. Keep in mind, this was written in about twenty some-odd minutes, while standing up.
***
The Bookstore Presents: Kait has a slow day at work!
Prompt: Henry and Mudge: The First Book, pg 11
***
"I wish he had shame," Gwen said, leaning her head back against the wall and blowing on her fingers before shoving them in her pockets. "If he had shame, we could blackmail him into never mentioning this again."
Rustling from further down in the refridgerator was the only response.
"He's going to tease us every day, you know," she continued. "There's nothing we can do about it. I know better than to ask you to withhold sex as a threat."
She heard Ianto snort, then the sound of his dress shoes clicking against the metal floor as he approached her.
"I've got it," he said cheerfully. Gwen sat up a little straighter.
"A way out?" she asked, leaning forward to peer around the shelves.
"No," Ianto said. He rounded the corner and held up a cardboard carton. "Beer." He handed her the carton and then sat down next to her. It did, in fact, contain four six-packs of beer. "If I'm going to be trapped in a refrigerator, ridiculed by my boss, hiding from an over-eager bassett hound the size of a horse, I deserve a beer."
Gwen couldn't argue with that.
She handed Ianto a bottle and took one for herself before placing the carton on the floor.
"Here's to enlarging guns from the future," she said, holding her bottle aloft.
"Here's to idiots who use enlarging rays from the future on their disobedient dogs," Ianto added.
"To bosses with a knack for understatement."
"To bringing a smile to the face of some poor future Torchwood Three archivist."
"To going to the pub as soon as this is sorted. Jack's not invited."
"Can I at least go home to wash off the slobber?" Ianto asked, wrinkling his nose as he took in the state of his ruined suit.
"Of course, sweetheart," Gwen said. They clinked bottles and sat back, shoulder to shoulder to stay warm. Outside, Jack bellowed, "HEEL!" and the floor shook and rumbled, nearly blocking out the sound of displays crashing to the ground. Inside, Gwen sighed and leaned into the arm Ianto slipped around her shoulders. She handed him another beer. She had a feeling it was going to be a while until they saw the inside of a pub.
"It could be worse," Ianto said.
"How's that?" Gwen asked.
"He just slobbered on us," Ianto said. "I reckon it'll take ages for his owner to get ride of the smell of dog urine."
Their laughter echoed off the walls of the refrigerator, temporarily blocking out the sound of destruction from outside. All in all, Gwen had suffered through worse days.
***
So, I had to send solsticezero a package. While idly thinking about that package on a very slow day at The Bookstore, I decided to write something to go with it. I opened up the book closest to me (Henry and Mudge: The First Book) to a random page (page 11) and took the first thing I saw as a prompt (an illustration of Mudge standing on top of Henry and drooling all over him).
Then I scribbled out a quick ficlet, changed my mind about the plot halfway through, was too lazy to go back and re-write it from scratch, and decided to just go with it. Keep in mind, this was written in about twenty some-odd minutes, while standing up.
***
The Bookstore Presents: Kait has a slow day at work!
Prompt: Henry and Mudge: The First Book, pg 11
***
"I wish he had shame," Gwen said, leaning her head back against the wall and blowing on her fingers before shoving them in her pockets. "If he had shame, we could blackmail him into never mentioning this again."
Rustling from further down in the refridgerator was the only response.
"He's going to tease us every day, you know," she continued. "There's nothing we can do about it. I know better than to ask you to withhold sex as a threat."
She heard Ianto snort, then the sound of his dress shoes clicking against the metal floor as he approached her.
"I've got it," he said cheerfully. Gwen sat up a little straighter.
"A way out?" she asked, leaning forward to peer around the shelves.
"No," Ianto said. He rounded the corner and held up a cardboard carton. "Beer." He handed her the carton and then sat down next to her. It did, in fact, contain four six-packs of beer. "If I'm going to be trapped in a refrigerator, ridiculed by my boss, hiding from an over-eager bassett hound the size of a horse, I deserve a beer."
Gwen couldn't argue with that.
She handed Ianto a bottle and took one for herself before placing the carton on the floor.
"Here's to enlarging guns from the future," she said, holding her bottle aloft.
"Here's to idiots who use enlarging rays from the future on their disobedient dogs," Ianto added.
"To bosses with a knack for understatement."
"To bringing a smile to the face of some poor future Torchwood Three archivist."
"To going to the pub as soon as this is sorted. Jack's not invited."
"Can I at least go home to wash off the slobber?" Ianto asked, wrinkling his nose as he took in the state of his ruined suit.
"Of course, sweetheart," Gwen said. They clinked bottles and sat back, shoulder to shoulder to stay warm. Outside, Jack bellowed, "HEEL!" and the floor shook and rumbled, nearly blocking out the sound of displays crashing to the ground. Inside, Gwen sighed and leaned into the arm Ianto slipped around her shoulders. She handed him another beer. She had a feeling it was going to be a while until they saw the inside of a pub.
"It could be worse," Ianto said.
"How's that?" Gwen asked.
"He just slobbered on us," Ianto said. "I reckon it'll take ages for his owner to get ride of the smell of dog urine."
Their laughter echoed off the walls of the refrigerator, temporarily blocking out the sound of destruction from outside. All in all, Gwen had suffered through worse days.