[advent 07] december six
This is for the utterly priceless inocciduous, who has been after me since May to write this story, albeit in a very polite fashion. And not this story in particular, but a story about these characters. This isn't holiday themed, but I've been trying to write it for a few months and was thinking about it today. I really love this AU, even if it was never fully formed, mostly because I love the idea of the boys raising a mouthy little kid. And I love some of the issues with sexuality and society that came up in the first story in the AU. (I'm a nerd, guys. I'm a nerd.)
Anyway. News anchor AU. Tomorrow I'm going to tackle leupagus's tree-trimming story. Day off! Woo!
eta: Now with added LJ-cut!
***
advent - day six
original - haircut
***
Around his fourth month working for ENC, Alan gave up on keeping to-do lists. He'd been given an assistant who kept a schedule for him and he often found that his to-do list clashed with what he already had scheduled. He tried fighting with his assistant--he really could do his own scheduling, he always had before, it wasn't hard--but in the end, Ted just set up a calendar that networked between their two computers.
"Put whatever it is you need to do on the calendar. I'll move it around so it fits your schedule," he said.
As far as Alan could tell, no one else's assistants did this. Felicity told him it was because Ted had an obsessive-compulsive stick up his ass and an overwhelming need to control those around him. Danny said it was because Alan tried to do to much.
Which was why, after five years working for the company, Alan found himself typing "haircut" into the networked calender and then going about his normal morning routine, most of which was spent drinking coffee and returning e-mails. It did not normally involve Ted coming into his office before ten am.
"You can't get a haircut without clearing it with the producers first," he said.
Alan blinked.
"Excuse me?" he managed to say.
"New rule," Ted said with a shrug. "Well, new rule as of like, six months ago, but it hasn't come up before now. Anyway, just wanted to tell you." He turned to go.
"Wait!" Alan said. Ted turned around, looking vaguely irate. "New rule from who?"
"I'd assume the producers," he said. "But Felicity was the one who told me about it."
Ted left after that, rolling his eyes, and Alan stood staring at the empty door. After a moment, he exited himself, heading down the hall towards Felicity's office.
"Felicity!" he called, banging on the door. Felicity was sitting at her desk, glaring at him as she held the phone to her ear. She wasn't dressed for work, which didn't entirely surprise him. Sometimes he wondered if Felicity actually slept in the office, and even if she didn't, she never managed to change into work clothes until at least noon.
"Yeah, okay. I'll see if I have time for it after the third commercial. I'll call you back this afternoon." She hung up her phone and glared at Alan. "There is no need to both shout and slam on the door, sweetie. What do you need?"
Alan dropped himself into one of the chairs across from her desk, frowning at her. "Why do I have to clear a haircut with the producers?"
"New thing," Felicity said dismissively, leaning over her computer, apparently immersed in work. "Not just you, but all the on-air personnel." She seemed to brush the question off, but Felicity had a tell and Alan knew what it was. By the fourth time she needlessly tucked her hair behind her ear, he knew she was sunk.
Now it was just a matter of figuring out who she was covering for.
"I know it can't be everyone because Danny got his hair cut two weeks ago. I was with him. There was no premeditation. In fact, he probably would have kept growing it until it was freakishly long again if I hadn't bitched at him about it that afternoon."
"Well, you know Danny," Felicity said, clicking around on her computer. She tucked her hair back again. "He always gets his hair cut the same way. I bet no one even noticed."
"Mmhm," Alan said. "So if I get my hair cut the same way I have in the past, it'd be okay?"
Hair behind the ear. "You have to talk to hair and make up, honey," she said. "Hey, I have a meeting with them later, I'll bring it up, okay?"
"I'll go over there right now," Alan shot back. "Who should I talk to?"
"I really--" Felicity started to say, but Alan cut her off.
"What the hell is going on here, Lis?" he snapped.
"It's just, Danny--"
That was all he needed to hear.
"I'm going to kill him," he muttered as he stalked out of Felicity's office.
Danny was sitting at his desk talking to Rajiv, Daniel Green, and Monica. He was telling a story that involved complicated hand gestures and was probably the latest description of their utter failure at parenthood.
He stopped mid-gesture when he saw Alan.
"Out," Alan said to Daniel, Rajiv, and Monica, pointing towards the door. "And don't even think about saying anything," he added to Daniel, who snapped his mouth shut and snorted. "When you start fucking someone higher up than the head of research, you can order people around, too."
Daniel flipped him off, but he did keep his mouth shut and follow Monica and Rajiv out. Alan closed the door behind them.
"I'm trying to figure out what I did," Danny said. "Unless the school called." He quickly added, "Not that I can think of anything I've done that the school would call about, but Keerthi does love to blindside us with this shit."
Alan glared. He crossed the office, taking a seat on the edge of Danny's desk and crossing his arms. Danny sat next to him, his expression hovering between amused and confused.
"I thought you liked my hair," Alan finally said.
"I do!" Danny said. "You're fully attractive, sweetheart. I adore your hair."
"That's what you told me the last time I got it cut," Alan said, and Danny visibly flinched, "but apparently you've pulled half the staff into a conspiracy to keep me from cutting it again."
"It wasn't half," Danny said weakly. "Not nearly half. Mostly just Ted, Lis, and the hair and make-up people, who, by the way, all agree with me that you shouldn't be allowed to make your own decisions about your hair."
"And you couldn't tell me that? You had to sneak around and... and..." He flailed his arms. "Communication, Daniel! Communication is essential to... you know, me not kicking you out of bed for a week." He crossed his arms and kept glaring, hoping that Danny would take the flush on his cheeks for anger instead of embarrassment, all the while knowing that if anyone could tell the difference, it would be Danny.
"Alan, I don't know where you learn these things. Lying is clearly what makes a relationship work." He leaned over and kissed Alan's cheek. "I love you. You're adorable. You're sexy. Your hair looked atrocious."
Alan wrinkled his nose. "I liked it." He could feel his ears still burning, even as Danny pulled him into a loose embrace.
"That's why you're not allowed to make decisions like that anymore," Danny said, pinching Alan's arm lightly. "Even Keerthi hated it."
"You're such a jackass," Alan muttered. "You could have mentioned this six months ago."
"Yeah," Danny said, "but then we wouldn't get to have this touching moment in my office."
Alan shoved him away with a frustrated snort. "You realize you're cut off for the foreseeable future, right?"
Danny laughed, heading towards the door. "You realize that I'm only cut off for as long as it will take you to remember that you really like sex, right?"
"I'm getting my haircut anyway!" Alan shouted after him impetuously. He didn't add that he'd make sure to take Keerthi with him this time.
Anyway. News anchor AU. Tomorrow I'm going to tackle leupagus's tree-trimming story. Day off! Woo!
eta: Now with added LJ-cut!
***
advent - day six
original - haircut
***
Around his fourth month working for ENC, Alan gave up on keeping to-do lists. He'd been given an assistant who kept a schedule for him and he often found that his to-do list clashed with what he already had scheduled. He tried fighting with his assistant--he really could do his own scheduling, he always had before, it wasn't hard--but in the end, Ted just set up a calendar that networked between their two computers.
"Put whatever it is you need to do on the calendar. I'll move it around so it fits your schedule," he said.
As far as Alan could tell, no one else's assistants did this. Felicity told him it was because Ted had an obsessive-compulsive stick up his ass and an overwhelming need to control those around him. Danny said it was because Alan tried to do to much.
Which was why, after five years working for the company, Alan found himself typing "haircut" into the networked calender and then going about his normal morning routine, most of which was spent drinking coffee and returning e-mails. It did not normally involve Ted coming into his office before ten am.
"You can't get a haircut without clearing it with the producers first," he said.
Alan blinked.
"Excuse me?" he managed to say.
"New rule," Ted said with a shrug. "Well, new rule as of like, six months ago, but it hasn't come up before now. Anyway, just wanted to tell you." He turned to go.
"Wait!" Alan said. Ted turned around, looking vaguely irate. "New rule from who?"
"I'd assume the producers," he said. "But Felicity was the one who told me about it."
Ted left after that, rolling his eyes, and Alan stood staring at the empty door. After a moment, he exited himself, heading down the hall towards Felicity's office.
"Felicity!" he called, banging on the door. Felicity was sitting at her desk, glaring at him as she held the phone to her ear. She wasn't dressed for work, which didn't entirely surprise him. Sometimes he wondered if Felicity actually slept in the office, and even if she didn't, she never managed to change into work clothes until at least noon.
"Yeah, okay. I'll see if I have time for it after the third commercial. I'll call you back this afternoon." She hung up her phone and glared at Alan. "There is no need to both shout and slam on the door, sweetie. What do you need?"
Alan dropped himself into one of the chairs across from her desk, frowning at her. "Why do I have to clear a haircut with the producers?"
"New thing," Felicity said dismissively, leaning over her computer, apparently immersed in work. "Not just you, but all the on-air personnel." She seemed to brush the question off, but Felicity had a tell and Alan knew what it was. By the fourth time she needlessly tucked her hair behind her ear, he knew she was sunk.
Now it was just a matter of figuring out who she was covering for.
"I know it can't be everyone because Danny got his hair cut two weeks ago. I was with him. There was no premeditation. In fact, he probably would have kept growing it until it was freakishly long again if I hadn't bitched at him about it that afternoon."
"Well, you know Danny," Felicity said, clicking around on her computer. She tucked her hair back again. "He always gets his hair cut the same way. I bet no one even noticed."
"Mmhm," Alan said. "So if I get my hair cut the same way I have in the past, it'd be okay?"
Hair behind the ear. "You have to talk to hair and make up, honey," she said. "Hey, I have a meeting with them later, I'll bring it up, okay?"
"I'll go over there right now," Alan shot back. "Who should I talk to?"
"I really--" Felicity started to say, but Alan cut her off.
"What the hell is going on here, Lis?" he snapped.
"It's just, Danny--"
That was all he needed to hear.
"I'm going to kill him," he muttered as he stalked out of Felicity's office.
Danny was sitting at his desk talking to Rajiv, Daniel Green, and Monica. He was telling a story that involved complicated hand gestures and was probably the latest description of their utter failure at parenthood.
He stopped mid-gesture when he saw Alan.
"Out," Alan said to Daniel, Rajiv, and Monica, pointing towards the door. "And don't even think about saying anything," he added to Daniel, who snapped his mouth shut and snorted. "When you start fucking someone higher up than the head of research, you can order people around, too."
Daniel flipped him off, but he did keep his mouth shut and follow Monica and Rajiv out. Alan closed the door behind them.
"I'm trying to figure out what I did," Danny said. "Unless the school called." He quickly added, "Not that I can think of anything I've done that the school would call about, but Keerthi does love to blindside us with this shit."
Alan glared. He crossed the office, taking a seat on the edge of Danny's desk and crossing his arms. Danny sat next to him, his expression hovering between amused and confused.
"I thought you liked my hair," Alan finally said.
"I do!" Danny said. "You're fully attractive, sweetheart. I adore your hair."
"That's what you told me the last time I got it cut," Alan said, and Danny visibly flinched, "but apparently you've pulled half the staff into a conspiracy to keep me from cutting it again."
"It wasn't half," Danny said weakly. "Not nearly half. Mostly just Ted, Lis, and the hair and make-up people, who, by the way, all agree with me that you shouldn't be allowed to make your own decisions about your hair."
"And you couldn't tell me that? You had to sneak around and... and..." He flailed his arms. "Communication, Daniel! Communication is essential to... you know, me not kicking you out of bed for a week." He crossed his arms and kept glaring, hoping that Danny would take the flush on his cheeks for anger instead of embarrassment, all the while knowing that if anyone could tell the difference, it would be Danny.
"Alan, I don't know where you learn these things. Lying is clearly what makes a relationship work." He leaned over and kissed Alan's cheek. "I love you. You're adorable. You're sexy. Your hair looked atrocious."
Alan wrinkled his nose. "I liked it." He could feel his ears still burning, even as Danny pulled him into a loose embrace.
"That's why you're not allowed to make decisions like that anymore," Danny said, pinching Alan's arm lightly. "Even Keerthi hated it."
"You're such a jackass," Alan muttered. "You could have mentioned this six months ago."
"Yeah," Danny said, "but then we wouldn't get to have this touching moment in my office."
Alan shoved him away with a frustrated snort. "You realize you're cut off for the foreseeable future, right?"
Danny laughed, heading towards the door. "You realize that I'm only cut off for as long as it will take you to remember that you really like sex, right?"
"I'm getting my haircut anyway!" Alan shouted after him impetuously. He didn't add that he'd make sure to take Keerthi with him this time.