positivity
There was a woman at Michael's the other day who said that she was shocked at how positive I could remain, even after I had been at the store for nine hours, constantly on my feet, running all over the store to help people and dealing with total assholes. I made up some bullshit about how being a crankypants will just make other people be cranky at me, and then I'll just be even crankier, so it takes less energy to be positive.
Total bullshit, of course, because the real reason I seem "positive" at work is because I can't stand the idea of customers being angry or upset with me. I don't know why. Most of them are total dumbfucks who seem as though they can barely tie their shoes. But I have this need to please them that I can't explain.
Anyway, the point of that tedious story is that I'm good at pretending that I can be positive.
***
The amount of nothing that I got done today is truly staggering. I'm still only halfway done with my tww_minis fic, mostly because the aforementioned tiff with boy child occurred when I was kind of in a groove, and it totally shattered it. (I've given up, bee tee dubs, the idea of a love-quadrilateral. It would take WAY too much backstory to introduce the fourth character and even more to make her at all important to character three, who has next to no interaction with her in canon. SO. Sticking with a love-triangle for now.
Don't even ask about my senior project. I wrote one scene today, completely out of order of what I've already written, and I'm pretty sure my advisor will want to scrap it. She really hasn't understood the build-up of Alan's PTSD at all and has wanted to cut most of the scenes that are sort of, you know, essential to hinting at his problem. And this one is a pretty big neon sign? (basically? Alan having a flashback and panic attack and locking himself in the bathroom for like, three hours, until all the hot water in the shower is gone.) But sometimes I wonder about Catherine's powers of perception, so WHO KNOWS.
But yeah. Absolutely nothing. I spent most of the day on the couch watching teevee. Yay. Sigh.
Total bullshit, of course, because the real reason I seem "positive" at work is because I can't stand the idea of customers being angry or upset with me. I don't know why. Most of them are total dumbfucks who seem as though they can barely tie their shoes. But I have this need to please them that I can't explain.
Anyway, the point of that tedious story is that I'm good at pretending that I can be positive.
***
The amount of nothing that I got done today is truly staggering. I'm still only halfway done with my tww_minis fic, mostly because the aforementioned tiff with boy child occurred when I was kind of in a groove, and it totally shattered it. (I've given up, bee tee dubs, the idea of a love-quadrilateral. It would take WAY too much backstory to introduce the fourth character and even more to make her at all important to character three, who has next to no interaction with her in canon. SO. Sticking with a love-triangle for now.
Don't even ask about my senior project. I wrote one scene today, completely out of order of what I've already written, and I'm pretty sure my advisor will want to scrap it. She really hasn't understood the build-up of Alan's PTSD at all and has wanted to cut most of the scenes that are sort of, you know, essential to hinting at his problem. And this one is a pretty big neon sign? (basically? Alan having a flashback and panic attack and locking himself in the bathroom for like, three hours, until all the hot water in the shower is gone.) But sometimes I wonder about Catherine's powers of perception, so WHO KNOWS.
But yeah. Absolutely nothing. I spent most of the day on the couch watching teevee. Yay. Sigh.