Abusive relationships in shoujo manga
So I was reading this article posted by veryinky the other day, and I just found it a highly interesting topic of discussion:
http://www.sleepisfortheweak.org/articles/shoujodangers.html
The article generally discusses the dangerous factor of "risqué" shoujo manga aimed at older teen audiences. While I do agree with the general idea of the article, I have to disagree with some of its points.
The article seems to focus only on the BAD side of the relationship, which is not necessarily predominant within the relationship period of all the examples the author cited. Although I do agree that a majority of those examples ARE full of abusive relationships (Hot Gimmick, all Mayu Shinjo titles, and some other ShoujoMagic works), not all them are. For example, I didn't think that Kodomo no Omocha depicted a totally bad relationship. The boy, Hayama, had his problems, but so did the girl, Sana. The two developed a relationship not necessarily because she just wanted to help him. Although that was the case at first, she did not seem him in a romantic way at all during this stage. It was only when he started supporting her with her problems too that I think she started to develop feelings (she is very dense after all, so feelings wouldn't develop THAT quickly). Also, the writer briefly mentioned Cardcaptor Sakura as an example of a shoujo with said themes of male-domination aimed toward young girls. I really did not see any signs of that all throughout the manga series. I thought the two main couple, Sakura and Lee, were generally balanced. They also did NOT have any sort of physical relationship. Again, their relationship seemed based more on just being there for each other for support.
Also, it seemed to me that the article advocated zero male domination within a relationship. I think this is quite impossible considering our current society and considering how most women would not like a guy with zero backbone (these types of guys are generally within shounen romance manga, but even then, they have some sort of agressive domination where the plot requires). If a guy does bend to his girl's every beck and call, not many girls would be attracted to him. Also, if that is the case, then the problem then lies with the female domination rather than male. So it is basically impossible to have a perfect relationship with no sort of agression/domination. Of couse, I'm not supporting it, but I just think that what the writer seems to call for is highly unrealistic. And I do agree that when the guy starts physically abusing his girl, there's a definite problem and the girl needs to get out of the relationship. However, some of the manga noted by the author did not have the guy bring any sort of harm towards the girl. Again, Kodocha and Cardcaptor, but I'd also like to point out Hana Yori Dango, a frequent example in the article. Yes, I do admit that the heroine in Hana Yori Dango, Tsukushi, was at first physically abused, but note that she HATED the guy during this time. It was after this was put in the past and stuff happened within the plot where he showed his "nice" side that she started developing feelings. She did not simply fall in love out of the blue. Also, I think that if he ever did start to get violent with her, she would call it quits. Although she did show some signs of weakness, it seemed that throughout the series, she was in control. There were also some beginnings of a sexual relationship, but that did not really develop due to either interruptions or her demand of a stop. So it seemed to me that the author of the article wanted almost no forgiveness on the female's part because of some incident that happened at the beginning of a relationship. I don't think this is all that wise since pretty much any guy would have some sort fault toward his girl. Nobody's perfect, and certainly not a guy. If a girl were to dump every guy who does her some sort of wrong, she wouldn't have anyone left.
It should also be looked at in perspective. I think every single guy (as well as girl) whether good or not, would have some sort of relationship with somebody. So this would include guys who are domineering, especially if they're really good-looking. So in the case of these stories, we are shown their relationship with their "chosen" girl. So if it's not going to be her, it's just going to be another girl. Of course, if you're a girl, you personally should avoid falling in these relationships, but if you're not going to be the victim, another one will be. So for the big picture, this doesn't help much. Ultimately, someone will be with the "bad" guy. I would also like to point out that domineering guys would tend to choose more timid girls just so they can enact their domineering personality--that's what makes them domineering after all. So yes, the girls within these types of stories are weak and in a highly unhealthy relationship.
So yes, these sort of relationships do exist in real life and can be highly dangerous. But like I said, if it's not one person, it's going to be another person who falls under the abusive relationship. The problem is not utlimately with the girl, but the guy who has the tendency to dominate. Though everything said here could apply to dominate girls in relationships with weak guy too. It's ultimately a matter of preference. Some people LIKE being controlled while others like controlling. If a girl doesn't already have this sort of innate preference/tendency, she won't be influenced by the manga she reads.
http://www.sleepisfortheweak.org/articles/shoujodangers.html
The article generally discusses the dangerous factor of "risqué" shoujo manga aimed at older teen audiences. While I do agree with the general idea of the article, I have to disagree with some of its points.
The article seems to focus only on the BAD side of the relationship, which is not necessarily predominant within the relationship period of all the examples the author cited. Although I do agree that a majority of those examples ARE full of abusive relationships (Hot Gimmick, all Mayu Shinjo titles, and some other ShoujoMagic works), not all them are. For example, I didn't think that Kodomo no Omocha depicted a totally bad relationship. The boy, Hayama, had his problems, but so did the girl, Sana. The two developed a relationship not necessarily because she just wanted to help him. Although that was the case at first, she did not seem him in a romantic way at all during this stage. It was only when he started supporting her with her problems too that I think she started to develop feelings (she is very dense after all, so feelings wouldn't develop THAT quickly). Also, the writer briefly mentioned Cardcaptor Sakura as an example of a shoujo with said themes of male-domination aimed toward young girls. I really did not see any signs of that all throughout the manga series. I thought the two main couple, Sakura and Lee, were generally balanced. They also did NOT have any sort of physical relationship. Again, their relationship seemed based more on just being there for each other for support.
Also, it seemed to me that the article advocated zero male domination within a relationship. I think this is quite impossible considering our current society and considering how most women would not like a guy with zero backbone (these types of guys are generally within shounen romance manga, but even then, they have some sort of agressive domination where the plot requires). If a guy does bend to his girl's every beck and call, not many girls would be attracted to him. Also, if that is the case, then the problem then lies with the female domination rather than male. So it is basically impossible to have a perfect relationship with no sort of agression/domination. Of couse, I'm not supporting it, but I just think that what the writer seems to call for is highly unrealistic. And I do agree that when the guy starts physically abusing his girl, there's a definite problem and the girl needs to get out of the relationship. However, some of the manga noted by the author did not have the guy bring any sort of harm towards the girl. Again, Kodocha and Cardcaptor, but I'd also like to point out Hana Yori Dango, a frequent example in the article. Yes, I do admit that the heroine in Hana Yori Dango, Tsukushi, was at first physically abused, but note that she HATED the guy during this time. It was after this was put in the past and stuff happened within the plot where he showed his "nice" side that she started developing feelings. She did not simply fall in love out of the blue. Also, I think that if he ever did start to get violent with her, she would call it quits. Although she did show some signs of weakness, it seemed that throughout the series, she was in control. There were also some beginnings of a sexual relationship, but that did not really develop due to either interruptions or her demand of a stop. So it seemed to me that the author of the article wanted almost no forgiveness on the female's part because of some incident that happened at the beginning of a relationship. I don't think this is all that wise since pretty much any guy would have some sort fault toward his girl. Nobody's perfect, and certainly not a guy. If a girl were to dump every guy who does her some sort of wrong, she wouldn't have anyone left.
It should also be looked at in perspective. I think every single guy (as well as girl) whether good or not, would have some sort of relationship with somebody. So this would include guys who are domineering, especially if they're really good-looking. So in the case of these stories, we are shown their relationship with their "chosen" girl. So if it's not going to be her, it's just going to be another girl. Of course, if you're a girl, you personally should avoid falling in these relationships, but if you're not going to be the victim, another one will be. So for the big picture, this doesn't help much. Ultimately, someone will be with the "bad" guy. I would also like to point out that domineering guys would tend to choose more timid girls just so they can enact their domineering personality--that's what makes them domineering after all. So yes, the girls within these types of stories are weak and in a highly unhealthy relationship.
So yes, these sort of relationships do exist in real life and can be highly dangerous. But like I said, if it's not one person, it's going to be another person who falls under the abusive relationship. The problem is not utlimately with the girl, but the guy who has the tendency to dominate. Though everything said here could apply to dominate girls in relationships with weak guy too. It's ultimately a matter of preference. Some people LIKE being controlled while others like controlling. If a girl doesn't already have this sort of innate preference/tendency, she won't be influenced by the manga she reads.