possessiveness
i find the quality of possessiveness in people so unattractive in any sort of relationship with a person. i'm sure that in my younger years i was guilty of holding onto people too tight and them finally slipping away. boy, am i glad that part of my life is over!
i've been under stress at work to see whether i can transist into my new job title smoothly. it doesn't help when my co-worker, who is more of a friend than a co-worker, is always badgering in my ear that i have to make a choice about the job and the i have to slow down and stop being so efficient. wtf?! so friday, i told her that i appreciate her concern but whatever i'm going through is my problem not hers. it doesn't help that she tries to fuel my frustration by telling me that i don't know my own issues with the company but insists that what i think is incorrect. she's 41, married, a heavier set woman who has been with the company for like 10 years. i'm still new, i broke my one year anniv with the company june 4th. i admit i have trouble adjusting to a place where indecision is like the theme of the company. i have no issues saying sorry for my mistakes or admitting them. unfortunately, not many people in my company will readily admit their own mistakes. if i make a mistake, i will admit it because i don't fear in correcting myself. why pretend if you know you screwed up? you need to fix it don't you?
anyways, this idea of possessiveness came into play when she kept insisting that she knew me and that she knew my problems. i told her, my issues with work have been fully addressed with the people i love most.. and even they can't tell me what to do. they can't tell me how to feel, what to do or how to resolve my situation. what makes her think she has that authority? well.. apparently it's because we see each other more than we see our own friends. see, there's a distinction that i make between my professional and personal life. at work, i shoot the shit and let them know the little things about my life that are irrelevant. they haven't a clue what really goes on because i don't feel the necessity to talk to them and being judged by a bunch of ppl whose opinion really doesn't matter. i mean, i love talking to the woman for her insight but when she starts calling my cell at like 9pm at night.. i don't really care. i feel that's a little much. i'm out with friends in the middle of dinner and she insists that we speak about work.. meanwhile, my friends think it's incredibly rude for the broad to call and carry on when she was already informed that we were having dinner.
i find that people who in fact have this hint of possessiveness need to back off and give the person some room. rather it be the significant other, the friend, the co-worker or that weird guy who continually tries to solicit his products and services. caring for someone is one thing.. but like.. being creepily possessive in nature.. is just unattractive. know the boundaries and don't overstep. if you become too overbearing and clingy, in any relationship, only bad things will happen.. like break ups. what's harder than breaking up with someone ur dating? breaking up with a friend or co-worker. a friend is someone you have developed a relationship with for 'x' amount of years full of tears, smiles, laughter and memories.. is it worth tarnishing that great thing over this drive to be the next new bff? it's weird. anyways, co-workers are the people you see most and deal with on a daily basis. you see them more than your friends or signifs. tarnishing that relationship will screw urself over at work. working with somone you hate and hates you back.. it's like a death sentence.
know the boundaries. don't overstep. possessiveness = stalkerish = creepy = restraining order or a serious beat down
thank goodness i told her to back off, but we'll see how things play out on monday..
have a possessive person in your life? if u treasure the relationship, let them know it's getting suffocating. if u don't, let it falter and die out.