Fic - "Single Male Seeking Same" | J2 | NC-17 | Part 2

[pocketfullof]

part 1 |

Jared had never been shy about making a move. Sure, he had as many insecurities as the next guy, but he figured if someone didn't like him - didn't want him - it was their loss, not his.

So it was something of a mystery as to why he had spent the last sixty minutes staring down at the crumpled square napkin - orange Nightingale logo in one corner - that had Jensen's number scrawled across it in impossibly neat handwriting.

The problem was, it wasn't about sex - an image of green eyes and freckles popped into his head - well, it wasn't all about sex. He genuinely liked Jensen, neuroses and all, and while Jared had no problem securing himself a casual screw or even making friends, making a date was something altogether new and scary. Making a date meant admitting that he liked someone, that he was maybe looking for something that wasn't just sex; it meant that sappy Lifetime movie crap Jensen had talked about.

He dialed most of the number, gave up, and flipped his phone shut; flipped it back open again and chewed on his bottom lip.

It was a slow Tuesday, and clear afternoon light slanted in through the large picture window, filling the front gallery. The door chimed open, letting in warm air and Adrianne, carrying a large paper sack.

"Lunch," she announced, holding the bag up. She raised her eyebrows. "Did you call him yet?"

Jared wasn't exactly certain when he'd turned into a thirteen year old, but somewhere between Jensen thrusting the napkin into Jared's hand and now, the transformation had completed itself. He stuffed the napkin back into his pant's pocket. "No."

Adrianne flipped over the little sign on the door so that closed faced outside, before twisting the bottom lock. Towards the back of the room, an island jutted from the wall, the perfect height for cocktails and appetizers during openings. She set the bag on it, pulling out a sandwich and chips for Jared, along with a cup of broccoli cheese soup (his very favorite) and a roll. Jared pulled two stools over while Adrianne situated napkins and plasticwear. "What's going on with you, anyway?" she said, talking around a big bite of her sandwich. "I don't think I've ever seen you nervous over making a phone call. If you like him, just call the guy."

Jared scowled into his soup. "I never said I liked him."

Adrianne snorted. "You were sitting there staring at that napkin when I left - " She glanced at her watch. "-twenty minutes ago."

"Maybe I'm trying to figure out a way to let him down easy."

Pursing her lips and twisting the cap off her bottled water, Adrianne said, "Sandy said he was pretty good looking."

"That's the understatement of the year. Why? You afraid of a little competition, there, A?"

Adrianne smirked, pretty eyes lighting up. "Hardly," she said, before asking, "Do you want to see him again?"

Jared stuffed a spoonful of soup into his mouth and gave a half-hearted shrug.

Her eyes went soft. She put her sandwich down, and grabbed his hand. She was so tall that her hands weren't that much smaller than his, but they were softer and slimmer. "Jared," she said, voice quiet. "If he didn't want you to call, he wouldn't have given you his number."

Jared took a deep breath. "Maybe, but - "

"What do you two have in common?"

"Lots of things. He likes The Rangers, and basketball - though he's a Mavericks fan, but he's from around here so I guess that's to be expected - and he works out and I know he likes Grand Turismo, and you know? He's actually been here? Bought a piece of Kim Mazel's art. Isn't that cool?"

Adrianne looked like she was fighting back a smile. "Okay," she said. "Pick any one of those things, and ask him to do it. It can just be casual, and if he says no, he says no - though I kind of doubt he will."

Jared looked at her. "What if he says yes?"

"Um, mission accomplished?" Adrianne rolled her eyes. "Look, going out on an actual date doesn't mean you're going to be tied down to an old ball and chain, Jared. Just have…fun. I promise it's possible to be in a relationship and still have fun."

Jared swallowed, nodded. "Will you sit here with me while I call him?"

Adrianne's eyes gleamed. "Absolutely," she said.

It's not as if Jensen had been waiting on tenterhooks for Jared to call, but when he did finally answer his office phone and Jared's voice said a casual hello, something in Jensen lifted, and a spring-loaded smile stretched across his face.

They agreed to meet to play a game of hoops Saturday morning, and because Jared was looking for a new gym, Jensen figured Pulse was a good place to do it.

Danneel walked by just as Jensen hung up the phone; she stuck her head into his cubicle. "Who was that?"

Jensen shrugged. "Just a friend."

Danneel narrowed her eyes, said, "You look awfully happy for a phone call from a friend," and Jensen fought to keep his smile under control as she walked away.

Now it was Saturday, and he was full on dripping sweat, his sneakers squeaking on the polished wood floor of the half-court. Jared had him by about four inches, but for a guy who had professed he had no sense of personal space in real life, he seemed awfully unwilling to get in Jensen's face, and Jensen was up by four baskets.

Jensen dribbled with the ease of someone who played often enough, bent low to the ground as he eyed Jared, trying to gauge his next move. White teeth bared in a feral grin, Jared watched Jensen with the same intensity, sweat making his long hair stick to his temples.

Jensen charged.

He rammed into Jared, still dribbling; Jared, feet planted, skidded to the floor. After making the lay up, Jensen did a fist pump of joy, shooting a grin at Jared, who was still sprawled on the floor. Jensen whipped his head around a little, crowing, "I believe that's twenty - ten, to me. We're still playing to twenty-five, right? Or do you wanna quit now so you don't embarrass yourself any further?"

As he spoke, he extended an arm, grasping Jared's warm hand and grunting with the effort to pull him up. "It's all part of my strategy," Jared panted, as he unfolded from the ground, a good-natured smile on his face. "Tire you out, and then I make my move."

Jensen hoisted his eyebrows up, a grin playing around the edges of his mouth. "It doesn't appear to be working."

"I guess I'll just have to switch it up a little, then, won't I?"

"You can't be afraid to play a little dirty, Jared," Jensen told him wisely.

Jared smirked. "Oh, I can play dirty." His hand was still clasped in Jensen's grip, even though he stood at his full height. He licked his bottom lip slowly, making it wet. Jensen's eyes tracked the movement. Heat swept across the back of his shoulders as the callused pad of Jared's thumb moved over Jensen's wrist.

Jensen breathed hard. From the basketball game, he told himself. He squeezed out, "You can't be afraid to get a little physical," and was rewarded by a wild gleam in Jared's eyes.

"I can do that too," Jared said, and his voice had gotten lower, the Texas-drawl deeper. He stepped up to Jensen, so their chests were almost flush. Jensen's mind flashed back to the kiss outside the club, the way Jared's lips had pressed soft against his, the way heat had pooled in his stomach.

Jared leaned in, looming close to Jensen's space. His lips were almost touching the shell of Jensen's right ear when he whisper-growled, "I can get very, very physical."

They were still holding hands. Jensen could feel his pulse beating wildly at his wrist, right beneath Jared's long thumb.

At the other end of the court, a rowdy cheer went up. Feeling like he'd been doused with cold water, Jensen stepped back fast, blinking quickly. He swallowed hard. Jared was still staring at him, cheeks flushed and eyes bright.

Jensen forced out a wobbly smile. "Let's play some ball, then," he commanded, voice hearty.

Jared's smile was a little predatory. Somehow, Jensen ended up losing, twenty-six to twenty.

For the fourth time that evening, Jared cursed the fact that he'd never invested in a full-length mirror. He was certain his khakis were too light for the green shirt, but he didn't want to wear jeans and Sandy had told him once that this shirt brought out his eyes, and it wasn't as if he truly cared about that sort of thing (he didn't. Honest), it was only -

He growled to himself, shrugged out of the shirt and rooted through his closet just as Sadie's deep bark began. Two seconds later, Harley's bark joined hers. The doorbell chimed from the front of the house and Jared's hand landed on a black button down. He pulled it on, swept the pile of shirts off his bed and kicked them under, and did up the buttons with shaking hands.

This was ridiculous.

"Alright you two, I get it," he mumbled to Sadie and Harley, both of whom were barking enthusiastically at the front door. Through the glass window next to the door, Jared could see Jensen chewing on his bottom lip, pizza and a plastic bag in hand.

Attempting to let Jensen in without allowing the dogs easy access to him proved too difficult, and before Jared could even get a hello in, Sadie had maneuvered herself around Jared's leg and jumped up, paws on Jensen's chest.

"Sadie," Jared scolded, as Jensen let out a huff of surprised laughter and a "Hey, there," directed more at the dogs than at Jared.

"Uh," said Jared intelligently as he reached for Sadie's collar to bring her back down. "I hope you like dogs?"

Jensen smiled, eyes going squinty. The front porch was lit up with evening sun, bright and yellow. "Yeah, man, 'course I do," he said.

Jared breathed a little easier. Jensen had a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes, and he must have changed after work, into scruffy jeans and an Iron Maiden T-shirt. Jared felt ridiculously overdressed. Outside, the air was sticky, muggy, and he could feel the blast of air-conditioning at his back. A lawnmower rumbled in the distance. There was a faint hum of cars swooshing by on the freeway not far from Jared's neighborhood.

Jensen's eyes dropped down, then made a slow crawl up Jared. "You look nice," he said, and Jared felt heat crowd his chest.

A slow grin spread across his face. "You too," he said, smiling down at Jensen.

"Oh, I just - I changed after work, you know, thought I'd - "

"Yeah, no, I mean - you look - " He stopped, still grinning down at Jensen. Harley barked loudly, nudging his nose around Jensen's crotch.

Jared shook his head slightly, scolded, "Harley, stop!" and opened the door all the way.

"Well, c'm in," he said. "I'm letting out all the cold air." He took the pizzas from Jensen; the cardboard boxes were hot and slightly greasy. "What did ya get?"

"Oh," Jensen said, stepping into the front hallway. "I didn't know what you liked on your pizza, so I got one with plain cheese and one deluxe, just in case you were allergic to mushrooms or something."

Jared waved a hand and shut the door. It was cool and dim inside. "I'll eat whatever you put in front of me."

Jensen smiled. "Good to know."

"What's in the bag?"

"Heh." Jensen looked a little guilty. "Movies."

It turned out that the movies were -

"Porn?" said Jared, for the third time in as many minutes. "You brought over porn?"

Jensen nodded. The deluxe pizza was half gone and the cheese was missing one slice. They were both on beer number two, with Sadie and Harley piled together in a patch of sunlight beneath the window. They had calmed down after a few minutes of Jensen scratching them both behind the ears.

"Gay porn," Jensen repeated.

"But why?"

Jensen shrugged, picking at thread on his knee. "I've never - you know - done this before, and I figure maybe we should - I mean, I get the general mechanics of it, but it's not - did you know that there are toys?"

Jensen was looking at him with wide, nervous eyes, like he was ready to bolt. "Why don't we save that for later?" Jared suggested slowly.

Jensen nodded, obviously relieved.

"I've always found the best way to deal with this stuff," Jared continued, "is to get drunk."

Jensen nodded again. Jared could see him run his tongue along his top row of teeth. "So, you liquor up your dates, then?"

Jared grinned. "It usually works. You wanna play some Madden?"

"Seduction by beer and Playstation? You do know your audience."

"If that doesn't work, then we can try porn."

Jensen let out a huff that might have been a laugh.

So they drank more beer and got pizza grease all over the controllers of Jared's Playstation, and after three games of Madden and one of Project Eight, they switched to watching ESPN. By now the pizza was gone. Jared was feeling soft and fuzzy from the beer, and a little turned on by the scent of Jensen's expensive-smelling aftershave and his warm thigh pressed against Jared's leg.

Jensen seemed really into the World Series of Poker, eyes glued to the TV. Jared turned to watch him. He sat perfectly upright, back straight like a rod was jammed up his spine, beer in one hand and the other shredding its label. His cheeks were flushed, bottom lip pink and shiny. Jared watched him swallow and aim a small glance Jared's way before snapping his eyes back to the television.

Jared yawned, brought his hand up to cover his mouth, and then gave a mighty stretch, not even being that subtle about trying to fit his arm around Jensen's shoulders. He felt like he was fifteen all over again, in the basement of Mandy Kepler's house pretending that he was into the Shawshank Redemption and really just trying to see if she'd let him get to second base this time.

Jensen, though, was skittish like a newborn colt and jumped about a mile when Jared's arm connected with his shoulders. He was breathing fast. "I'm gonna need to take this kinda slow," he breathed, blinking rapidly.

Jared focused on his lips. "No problem," he mumbled, before angling his head and pushing their mouths together.

It was maybe too much for him to handle, this dating another guy thing. He held the door open for Jensen, and Jensen looked murderous. He unlocked Jensen's car door, and Jensen wouldn't talk to him for the whole ride out. There was a always a fight to get to the bill first, like it was a race to the finish line, and whoever lost had their masculinity called into question.

They'd had four, maybe five dates, and in many ways, it was like being with one of his buddies, playing basketball, putting back a few beers, watching game two of the Stanley Cup at O'Bryans, but at the end of every evening, Jensen got nervous, got jittery and clamped up, and it took every ounce of Jared's patience not to snap at him, not to insist on a little more action than making out like two scared kids in their parents' basement.

"And I swear to God, I don't think I've jerked off this much since I was fourteen and Jennifer Love Hewitt started wearing tight tops on Party of Five," he complained loudly, as he hammered a final hook into the freshly painted wall. Sandy stood beside him with a tape measure and a pencil, while Adrianne looked on with a critical eye. "My palms are gonna start growing hair."

Sandy snorted. "It'll match the hair in your nose," she said, then, "Do you think that needs to go a little to the left?"

Adrianne said, "I think it looks fine. Have you thought about talking to Jensen?"

Jared grunted as he lifted an 8 x 6 foot wooden frame onto the hooks he'd just set into the wall. His arms shook. "I think you two only keep me around to do the manual labor," he muttered. "And, yeah, I've tried, but every time I mention it, he freaks out about how he needs more time. He's - he's a fucking cock tease!"

"So stop seeing him," Sandy said.

"I'm gonna have to," Jared said. "I need orgasms."

"You just said you were masturbating!"

Jared looked at Adrianne. "I need shared orgasms," he clarified. "With someone who wants to have them with me."

"Well, this is what happens when you date a straight guy," Sandy said wisely as Adrianne said, "I think it does need to go to the left."

Jared was busy sending them both death rays when his phone rang The Pixies' Here Comes Your Man. Sandy's idea of a joke.

"Yeah," he barked into the phone.

"Jay, hey man, you doin' okay?" Jensen's voice was low and warm over the phone, and Jared felt his stomach flip flop.

He grinned, turning away from Sandy and Adrianne. "Yeah," he breathed. "I'm golden. What are you up to?"

Jensen coughed. "Actually, I was just sort of wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight - at my place?" He sounded hesitant and young and it sent Jared's heart skipping.

"Absolutely, yeah. That - that sounds pretty great, actually. What time?"

Jared could hear Jensen's smile through the phone. "Sevenish, if that's cool."

"Seven's perfect, dude. I'll pick up a sixer on my way over."

"Oh, hey, no - I got it covered. Just bring yourself, man. That's - ah, that's all I need."

Jared gripped the phone, which had gone slippery in his hand. "You got it. I can't wait to see you."

His grin felt about as wide as the Pacific when Jensen said, "You too, man."

Jared flipped his phone shut and swung around to find both Adrianne and Sandy studying him with their eyebrows raised.

"Was that Jensen?" Sandy said.

Jared couldn't stop the smile that felt spring-loaded onto his face. "Yeah, he's making me dinner." He frowned. "What should I wear?"

Sandy asked, "When exactly did you turn into a pretty little girl?" and Adrianne commented dryly, "Yeah, you really look like you're breaking things off with him."

Jared aimed a rude gesture in their direction and decided he was taking the afternoon off.

When Jared rang the buzzer, his watch claimed it was 7:06, and he was feeling pretty good that he managed to get here so quickly. He'd spent an inordinate amount of time at the store. His mama always said you never go to a person's house for dinner empty handed, and if Jensen were just a buddy, a six pack would do the trick. If Jensen were a girl, Jared would bring flowers, maybe, or chocolates, but judging by the near fits Jensen threw when Jared opened the door for him, Jared guessed Jensen wouldn't take kindly to a bunch of gerber daisies or a heart-shaped box of bon bons thrust under his nose.

Jensen buzzed him up, and Jared took the stairs to Jensen's third floor apartment two at a time. Jensen's door was left ajar; Jared let himself in and was immediately greeted by the smell of spicy chili, and the sight of Jensen in a red and white striped apron, pulling what looked like cornbread muffins out of a hot oven.

Jared snorted. "Chili in June," he said by way of greeting. "In Texas. Bold move."

Jensen eyed him. "I'm a brave man, Jay. Like to take risks." He threw a potholder down next to the hot tray of muffins, as his eyes lighted on the package in Jared's hands. "What on earth is that?"

Jared hefted the largest bottle of Tabasco he had ever seen in life, pretending to strain a bit under its weight, and said, "Gift. You know, in case you wanna spice up your life."

Jensen snorted. "Are you secretly a Spice Girl?"

Gesturing with the bottle, Jared remarked, "The apron, and the talking about Spice Girls…are you sure I'm the first guy you've dated?"

"Bite me, jackass," retorted Jensen, though he was smirking a little, and he seemed pleased. Jared felt irrationally proud.

He raised his eyebrows. "Only if you ask nicely," he said, watching the tips of Jensen's ears go pink.

Jensen was still standing next to the stove. As Jared made his way closer, he could feel the heat radiate off it, so hot he could see it made Jensen's hair damp with sweat. He stopped in front of Jensen, who had to tilt his head up just slightly to meet Jared's gaze. Jared leaned in, close enough to smell Jensen's aftershave, to see the flecks of gold in his eyes, and watched as Jensen breathed in deep. Jared licked his lips. He bent his knees slightly, moved in even closer, and then reached around Jensen to plop the large glass bottle on the counter top. "Or maybe later, even if you don't ask nicely," he whispered against the shell of Jensen's ear before straightening up.

"So," he said, loudly and with a grin pasted on as he clapped his hands together. "What d'you have to drink?"

He resisted a smirk when Jensen swallowed loudly. "Beer," Jensen finally said after a long, dazed pause. "And Die Hard's on the coffee table over there." He swallowed again. "Can…uh, can you get things set up while I finish in here?"

"Sure," said Jared. He opened the fridge and pulled out two cold Guinness bottles. He whistled. "Fancy."

Jensen laughed. "Only the best on chili night. Thanks," he said, as he accepted a bottle from Jared. "And thanks for ensuring I'll never have to buy Tabasco again."

Jared smiled in return, and made his way into Jensen's living room. He'd only been here once before - to pick Jensen up for a Ranger's game - and he'd never made it beyond the front door. Jensen's living room was something of a surprise, though maybe it shouldn't have been. The whole place looked really comfortable. Lived in. One large, squishy sofa, coffee brown and leather, took up nearly half the room. The TV was small, with a Playstation and an old Nintendo stacked up beneath it. The fact that one whole wall and half the floor were covered in a colorful assortment of books wasn't too shocking, especially for a writer, though - for someone who seemed entirely too in control of everything else in his life - they were unexpectedly unorganized.

Maybe the framed photos taking up another wall weren't that surprising, either, but Jared had never expected to see such an artful display on Jensen's walls. They were various sizes, framed and matted in different colors, though they each felt right, somehow. They fit. Jared moved closer, titling his head to get a better look - they were good prints, obviously done by someone who knew what they were doing, both with a camera and in a dark room. He wondered who the artist was. As he inched closer to inspect a portrait of a young, pretty girl, he noticed something else out of the corner of his eye.

He bent down and ran his hands over smooth wood and plucked once at a string. "You play guitar?" he called into the kitchen over the twang resonating on the air.

Jensen appeared around the corner, pulling off a pretty spectacular balancing act with his beer, two big bowlfuls of chili, a plate of muffins, and a roll of paper towels unsteady in his arms. Jared was up immediately.

"You're gonna spill that," he scolded, taking the plate and Jensen's cold beer away from him.

"Thanks," Jensen said. "Yeah." He shrugged, aiming a glance at the guitar in the corner. "A little."

"That's awesome, man," Jared breathed. "You wanna…ah…play for me, maybe?"

Jensen placed the bowls of chili on his coffee table, settled onto his couch, and picked up the remote. He met Jared's eyes, and grinned. "Maybe later," he said.

John McClane saved the day, naturally. "He's so my hero," Jared said, again, and then he gave a loud burp.

"You mentioned that," Jensen said with a wry grin aimed Jared's way. "Also, you're gross."

Jared burped louder. "I'm irresistible," he corrected.

"Incorrigible, maybe."

"Loveable and charming. Don't deny it."

"Yeah, right, Romeo. I'm sure your milkshake brings 'em all to the yard," Jensen said as he stood to clear the bowls. "You want another beer?" he asked.

"Yeah, thanks, and dude, what's up with you and chick songs tonight?"

"They're not chick songs, man, you're just not very enlightened."

"I'm on date number six with a dude. That's enlightened like the, um, the Enlightenment."

From the kitchen, Jared heard Jensen's laughter, bright and quick. "Your metaphors are astoundingly bad."

"Yeah, well, I'm not the writer, jackass," Jared called, trying to sound hurt, though he failed pretty spectacularly. Three bowls of Jensen's chili and as many beers, along with Jensen's warmth pressed up against his side as he watched Bruce Willis ride motorcycles and cuss people out pretty much made Jared the most contented man alive. He closed his eyes and smiled as he laid his head back along Jensen's comfortable couch.

"You crashin' on me, man?" Jensen quietly asked. Jared felt Jensen stop in front of him, his sock-covered feet pressed up right against Jared's.

"Nah," Jared murmured contentedly. "Just chillin'." He peered from beneath his lashes at Jensen. "Hey, how'd you learn to cook so good?"

Jensen handed Jared his beer and shrugged. He gave Jared a small smile. "Just, you know, picked it up. Eating out was too expensive when I was in college -"

"In New York," Jared said.

"Yeah, in New York, so I learned to cook. It's not a big deal. Just follow the recipe."

"It's a very big deal," Jared corrected. He took a long, happy sip from his beer. "Being able to cook is, like, the biggest deal ever, and you're really good. If you ever wanna quit your day job, I'll hire you as my personal chef." He watched Jensen squirm under the praise for a minute, enjoying the way his freckles went dark when he blushed. "Did you always know you wanted to be a writer?" Jared asked.

Jensen met his eyes. "Oh, well, actually -"

"'Cause you gotta lota books." Jared's eyes landed on the guitar. "And a guitar," he murmured.

"Your powers of observation are fantastic."

Jared laughed and brought his gaze back to Jensen's. "You gonna play for me now?"

Jensen bit his lip before taking a long, long swallow of his beer. Jared watched him swallow, watched his Adam's apple work slowly in his throat. Something in the air shifted. Jensen's answer was important somehow.

Jensen set his beer on the wood coffee table and wiped both hands on his jeans. "Yeah," he agreed. "One song."

Jared sat up more fully on the couch. He watched quietly as Jensen hefted the guitar comfortably and sat back down opposite Jared's side of the couch. There was no strap, and Jensen rested it on his knee. He glanced Jared's way. "Any requests?"

Jared smirked. "Freebird," he suggested.

Jensen leveled his green gaze at Jared, and Jared shrugged. "Whatever, dude. Just no Spice Girls."

"I'll try and remember that," Jensen said. "Actually, this is by a buddy of mine."

"Steve?" Jared asked.

Nodding, Jensen fitted the guitar more fully against himself. "Mmmhmm."

"Who I haven't met yet," Jared commented.

Jensen frowned at his guitar. "Someday," he said, and it didn't sound quite like a promise to Jared, but he let it go, choosing to focus instead on Jensen's hand as it hovered over the strings.

"You ready?" Jensen asked.

Jared glanced up and met Jensen's eyes. "Yeah," he breathed. "You?"

Jensen didn't answer, and he didn't look away, but his fingers moved. They plucked over the guitar, strong and sure, and Jared had to tear his gaze away from Jensen's face, just for a minute, to watch them work.

Blunt fingernails and long white fingers, and Jared had felt calluses there, and had just assumed they were the usual, from lifting, maybe swinging around a hammer. He'd never assumed those hands were capable of stroking a guitar to life. Capable of making something so beautiful. His breath held in his throat as he brought his eyes back to Jensen's face and watched Jensen's eyes slip shut. And then Jensen began to sing. It was soft, but sure. Jensen's voice wasn't spectacular, but it was strong and deep, the twang that wasn't in his speech coming out when he sang, and something resonated deep in Jared's chest, which felt packed tight with cotton and cushioned sentiment. That Jensen was able to trust Jared enough to sing in front of him - he knew it was huge.

It was also unbelievably hot.

The air was still and cool. It was quiet save Jensen's voice and his guitar, and Jared watched him for another minute, breath held, as he grew warm all over.

Abruptly, Jensen stopped. "I told you I wasn't very good," he said, roughly putting the guitar on the ground.

"But-"

"This is stupid," Jensen said.

"No," Jared assured. He slid easily across the couch. "You're - I mean. God." He swallowed and leaned in, lips hovering around Jensen's mouth. "You're amazing," he said, just before touching his lips to Jensen's.

He tasted beer and chili and Jensen. Jensen's mouth was soft under his, and he opened easily beneath Jared. Jared gave a rumbly growl, opening his mouth fully, and letting his teeth clack against Jensen's. This was when Jensen always pulled away - even when Jared knew he was hot for it, could feel it and see it, this is when Jensen always clammed up and shut his legs and said he needed time. But tonight was different. Tonight he opened his mouth fully, and strong, callused hands twisted into Jared's t-shirt, before moving up and running through Jared's hair, sending shivers all through Jared's body.

All the blood pumping in Jared's veins went straight to his growing erection, and he didn’t waste any time practically manhandling Jensen around on the couch, pushing him down and kissing him with everything Jared had in him. He let Jensen know, with his mouth and his hands, just how amazing he thought he was.

He had Jensen beneath him, body strong and big and hard. Jensen's t-shirt rode up, and Jared scraped ragged nails along his belly, feeling smug when Jensen gasped and pushed his hips up against Jared's thigh. "Thought about this," Jared confessed roughly, nipping along Jensen's stubbled chin. "About you, beneath me. About what you'd sound like."

Jensen gasped again, the sound breathless and full of heat. "Like that," Jared panted. "Think I can make you do it again?"

He pressed his thigh against the unmistakable length of Jensen's dick, and smiled against Jensen's neck when Jensen whined, deep and full of need.

"Off," Jensen suddenly commanded, pushing at Jared's shirt so that Jared had no choice but to lift one arm and then the other, letting Jensen tug it off. He returned the favor, barely allowing himself time to notice that Jensen's freckles ran all the way down his chest before laying back down against him, flesh against flesh, and God, Jared would let himself look later. Right now he needed to get off.

He caught Jensen's mouth against his again, as Jensen's hands landed on him, one pressed into Jared's hip and the other against the small of his back, putting pressure there, pushing Jared down against Jensen's thigh. Jared was gonna come from this alone, rubbing off against Jensen, in his pants. He was gonna come in the silence of the apartment, only the sound of Jensen's harsh pleading breaths to give him company.

He lifted his head, breaking the kiss. Jensen's eyes were closed, his mouth was swollen and his cheeks were flushed pink. His hair was a mess. Jared circled his hips, feeling Jensen's hard thighs open slightly, so he was deeper, pushing right against Jensen's cock through rough denim.

"Hey," Jared commanded. "Look at me."

Jensen did, eyes sliding open - green and aroused. Jensen panted open-mouthed. He said, "Jay, man," in a strained voice, and for whatever reason, that was it. Jared groaned loudly, pushed down harder with his hips and his arms shook with the effort to hold himself up.

Jensen's hips still pushed frantically against Jared's thigh. Jared pressed down hard, and let Jensen use his body to bring himself off. When he did, mere minutes after Jared, his eyes clamped shut and he called Jared's name again, and Jared finally let himself drop fully down against him.

Jensen ran one hand up and down Jared's sweaty back. "That was quick," he murmured.

Jared said, "Fuck off. I've been living like a monk for the past month."

He felt Jensen smile against his check. "Stay the night."

Jared felt warmth crowd his chest. He scooted off Jensen and slapped his bare stomach. "Okay," he said. "But only if you make me breakfast."

Jensen was quickly running out of time, if the clock on the wall was any indication. He was switching his computer off, trying to set his voice mail and pull his car keys out of his pocket, and straighten the papers on his desk all at the same time, when Danneel rounded the corner into his cubicle.

"Hey, Jensen," she began, "can you wait a - "

"Sorry," Jensen interrupted. "I'm running late. I need to get out to my parents for dinner, but first I need to pick up an engagement present, and - "

Danneel stared at him. "Who's engaged?"

Jensen slammed his desk drawer shut. "Mac is. Didn't I tell you?"

"No." Danneel narrowed her eyes at him. "Your baby sister's getting married and you didn't tell me."

Jensen shrugged. "S'not a big deal. I just forgot to tell you."

Sitting lightly on his desk, Danneel remarked, "You're doing that a lot lately."

Jensen had his car keys in hand. He jangled them impatiently. "Doing what?"

"Forgetting things," Danneel replied, brushing a strand of dark hair off her face. "Not acting like yourself."

When Jensen huffed, Danneel rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous," he said. "Me forgetting to tell you about Mac's engagement isn't a big deal."

"I'm serious," Danneel insisted. "But it's not just that. You're all…" She gestured. "Bouncy, lately."

Jensen arched a brow. "Bouncy? You make me sound like a Chihuahua."

Danneel smirked. "If the collar fits," she said, and Jensen threw her a rude gesture.

"I'd love to stay and be compared to other small, excited animals, but I really am running late. Can we do this later, plea - " He stopped suddenly.

Taking up pretty much the whole doorway next to his cubicle was a pair of broad shoulders and a blindingly-white grin. Jensen's stomach flip-flopped warmly and he felt his smile go gooey.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Danneel began. She followed Jensen's gaze to glance over her shoulder. "Oh." Her voice went deeper suddenly, drawing out the word. It was her flirting voice - Jensen heard it plenty back when they first met - and he rolled his eyes. "Can we help you?"

"Actually," said Jared, eyes still locked on Jensen. "I'm here to see…" Jared gestured Jensen's way.

Danneel glanced back at Jensen, then again at Jared. She didn’t move.

"What are you doing here?"

Jared's grin went slow and smooth, and even from where he was standing twenty-feet away, Jensen could see the attraction there. Heat pooled in his belly, as he thought back on their make-out session last week, the one that had ended with Jared panting on top of him, and Jared's hips pushed against his. He flushed.

"Thought I'd surprise you," Jared continued. "Night on the town. I got us reservations at a ho-"

"I can't tonight!" Jensen interrupted quickly, sending a panicked glance at Danneel, who was watching the exchange with narrow, shrewd eyes. Jensen swallowed. "Dinner. At my parents, and I can't miss it."

Jared nodded, looking a little sad. "I was just hoping we could spend some time together, you know, and…" He trailed off, eyes lighting on Danneel again. "I'm being so rude," he said suddenly, sticking out a big hand in her direction. "I'm Jared," he said, "Jensen's -"

"Friend," Jensen jumped in. "He's my friend from the, uh, the gym."

"Right," Jared agreed slowly, clasping Danneel's hand, but keeping his eyes on Jensen. "His friend from the gym."

Danneel gave a slow smile. "Danneel," she said. "It's nice to meet you." She raised a brow. "Jared?" she said. "Jensen's never mentioned you." She leaned and said in a mock-conspirator's whisper, "He's doing that a lot lately."

Jared's lips quirked up, and the two hadn't let go of one another's hands yet, and Jensen was getting a little annoyed. "Oh, Jensen's full of interesting secrets, I'm sure."

Jensen was in full on glare mode when his cell phone vibrated against his thigh. "This is all loads of fun," he said, "but I really do need to get going." He flipped his phone open. "Hey."

"Is that how you answer your phone?"

"Mama," Jensen said. "I'm on my way."

"Good, baby. Can you pick up ranch dressing on your way? We're all out, and your daddy's picking Mac up at the airport, but of course, he forgot his cell phone. I swear, that man'd lose his head if it wasn't screwed on properly. You know, last week he told me he was gonna fix the leaky faucet, but naturally - "

"'Course I can, Mama." Jensen cut her off. If he didn't, the conversation would last his whole drive into Richardson. "Anything else you need?"

"Just you, darling."

"Is that your mom?" Danneel said, having finally let go of Jared's hand. "Tell her I said hi and congratulations."

"You know Jensen's mom?" Jared said.

Jensen opened his mouth, when his mom said, "Who's that, darling? Who's there?"

"It's Danny," he said, "And, um, my friend Jared."

"Danny? Oh, invite that darling girl over tonight. Where are you?"

"I'm at work, Mama, and I don't think - "

"Does Jared work with you?"

"No." Jensen's eyes flicked up to Jared, who was still watching him with that heat in his eyes. "He's a friend from the gym."

"Well, invite him too. The more the merrier."

"Mama, I don't think that's -"

"Put one of them on the phone," his mom demanded.

"Mama, I don't think - "

"Jensen Ross," she said.

Heaving a resigned sigh, Jensen held out the phone. "She wants to talk to you."

"Who?" asked Danneel.

Jensen shrugged. "Either one," he said, and Danneel snatched the phone from his hand. Jensen watched her mouth turn up into a pretty red smile. He met Jared's eyes. It looked like it was going to be a long night.

Jensen's parents' house was twenty-five minutes away. By the time they dropped Jared's car off at Jensen's apartment, stopped at two different stores - to buy ranch dressing and a pair of earrings for Jensen's sister - and Jared picked up flowers for Jensen's mama, it was after seven.

Jared followed Jensen in through the garage door, and the sights and sounds were at least familiar. It smelled like family and sounded a little bit like home, and Jared was put at immediate ease when Jensen's mama gave him a bear hug, a smacking kiss on the cheek for the flowers, and an order to leave his shoes at the door. He met Jensen's dad, a big man in his early sixties who had a deep voice and a calm manner, and Jensen's adorable baby sister, who was practically beaming with pride and sporting an ice skating rink on her finger. Josh, Jensen's older brother, was there with his wife and their one-year-old baby boy, and Jared watched with something that felt like plastic wrap stretched over his chest as Jensen picked up the little one and cooed and awed over him with obvious affection. He watched both Jensen and the baby giggle, completely entranced with one another, and sort of understood how they felt.

"How long have you and Jensen known each other?" Danneel asked, coming up and handing him a beer.

He nodded his thanks and gave her a long, slow smile. She was pretty and small, and two months ago he'd probably be trying to figure out how to get into her pants. Now, he couldn't tear his eyes away from Jensen, who was flipping his nephew upside down and then swinging him back up, both of them laughing fit to burst. "Not long," he admitted. "Two months, maybe."

"From the gym?" Danneel said.

Jared nodded. "Yeah, basketball partners," he lied. "When two guys get sweaty like that, together, it just forms a tight bond."

"That's so strange," she commented.

Jared turned to look at her, to find her studying him with curious eyes. "What is?"

She shook her head. "It's just…it usually takes Jen longer to make friends. He's, uh, well, he's kind of hard to read most of the time, and that throws people off."

"He's not so hard to figure out," Jared said. "You just have to find his sweet spots." Danneel opened her mouth like she was gonna say something else, but Jared said, "How long have you known him, anyway?"

"Long time," she said. "Since college, actually."

"You went to NYU, too."

"Yeah," she said, gesturing with her wine glass. "We were both doing that art thing, and - "

"That art thing?" Jared said.

"There you two are!" Jensen's mama interrupted. She bustled over, cheeks a little flushed. Her eyes were the same green as Jensen's. "Food's all set to go. Danneel, sweetie, we have that corn puddin' that you always loved so much, and Jared, you like ribs, don't you? Of course you do, look at you, so tall and big. You're going to love these. They're Jensen's daddy's recipe, and I promise they'll stick to your ribs. Would you mind very much helping me bring a few more chairs into the dining room?"

"I'd love to help," Jared answered.

"Can I do anything?" said Danneel.

"Oh, no, dear, you just go get yourself ready to eat."

Danneel smiled. "I'll take your beer in," she said to Jared, snagging it from his hand. He watched her hips sway into the other room before following Mrs. Ackles toward the back of the house.

She chatted all the while. "Do you have yourself a girlfriend, Jared?"

Jared chuckled, peeking glances into the rooms they passed, hoping for a glimpse of Jensen's childhood things. "Not at the moment, Mrs. Ackles."

"It's Donna, please, dear, and how does a young, handsome man like you end up alone?"

Jared ducked his head. "Just haven't found the right girl, I guess."

"That's what Jen keeps saying, too. You boys." She pushed open a door, and he followed her into a back room that had a stack of extra chairs in a far corner. Then she said, rather slyly, "That Danneel's very pretty, though, isn't she?"

Hefting four of the chairs up, Jared nodded.

"She and Jensen could never make it work, for whatever reason, but I do think she's single now." She raised her eyebrows in question, and Jared ducked his head again.

"I don't - " he began, then he stopped. "She and Jensen dated?"

"Oh, yes," Donna said, leaning in to whisper, though no one was around. "For quite a while I would have told you that they were headed straight to the chapel, but then, one day, they just weren't together." She shook her head, sadly. "Jensen's a good boy, but he puts too many expectations on other people." She brightened. "But you and Danneel looked pretty cozy."

Jared grimaced. "I don't think I'm comfortable dating one of Jensen's ex-girlfriends, to be honest."

"Of course you aren't, dear. You're a good friend, I can tell. Let's get these chairs out there."

He followed her back out to the front of the house, where they passed a large print hanging above the sofa. It looked familiar somehow.

"That's a gorgeous photograph," Jared commented.

"Oh, that's one of Jensen's," Donna said. "From just after he graduated. He's real talented, isn’t he?"

Jared gaped. He gaped all the way into the dining room to find Danneel's spot wedged between him and Mackenzie. Jensen was situated almost directly across from him.

He set the chairs down around the table and sank into his seat. Jensen flicked him a quick smile, and Jared just gaped at him.

Jensen's eyebrows knitted together. "What's up?" he said.

"You're a photographer?" he said, still feeling like a fish out of water, mouth open in something like shock. "How come you never told me?"

Jensen shrugged. "It's not a big deal; it just never came up." As he spoke, he concentrated hard on spooning potatoes onto his plate, and his gaze avoided Jared's eyes.

Jared studied him across the table. "You're doing that thing you always do," he commented.

Jensen brought surprised eyes up to him. "What's that?"

"You play stuff off, shrug and pretend it's no big deal - the guitar, the way you cook and sing, and apparently take pictures - even though you're really, really good at it."

He and Jensen stared at one other. Jensen blinked and looked surprised.

"Oh, that's just Jensen," Danneel said from next to Jared. He glanced down to find her bright brown eyes on him. "He never thinks he's good at anything."

"That's not true," Jensen said, and Jared watched Danneel turn to look at him.

"Isn’t it?" she said. She turned back to Jared. He thought maybe she should have a headache by now. "You know, he's only had one show, his senior show, even though he's been taking pictures since forever. You should see his portfolio; I'm sure it's huge by now."

From the other side of the table, Jensen said, "Can we talk about something else, please?" and he was flushed all the way to the tips of his ears. Jared was torn between the desire to lick his freckles and the urge to throttle him.

"'Course we can," Jared answered, and he felt a little evil when he continued. "We can talk about how you two used to date."

Jensen choked on one of his potatoes, and wow, Jared wasn't totally used to the jealousy coursing through him as he watched Jensen's cheeks flush with something that was probably anger.

Danneel was watching Jensen too. "What's the big deal?" she asked, as Jensen looked at Jared and said, "It was a long time ago."

Danneel nodded. "He dumped me because I wasn't living up to my full potential." She said the last two words like they were supposed to have quotation marks around them.

Jensen glared. "We ended it because we wanted different things out of life," he corrected, voice clipped. Jared noticed most of the table was now watching their conversation intently. If he was a better man, he might have figured out a way to deflect this, but - "Why do you want to know about this anyway?" Jensen's question was directed at Jared.

Jared shrugged casually. "No reason. Just, you know, asking as a friend."

He watched Jensen's mouth smooth out into a flat line. He'd seen Jensen a lot of ways: nervous, happy, turned-on, skittish, blissed-out from food, blissed-out from orgasm, drunk, but he'd never seen him angry before. He wasn't even ashamed to admit that he liked it.

"You know," Jared said, flicking a friendly grin towards Jensen's mom. "Your mom thought Danneel and I might make a good couple."

That got no response but Jensen taking a long sip of beer. Bright eyes narrowed in Jared's direction. "Knock yourself out," Jensen finally countered, as Danneel reached right across the table and smacked Jensen on his arm, then said something about how she wasn't a piece of meat for him to pawn off on his friends.

Under the table, Jared slid his foot along the floor until it connected with Jensen's sock-covered foot. He watched delightedly as color flooded Jensen's face, making his freckles stand out bright and clear. Jensen's foot was warm beneath his. Over the table, their eyes met and held, and Jared lifted one corner of his mouth, as he turned to look at Danneel. "What'd'ya think?" he asked, foot rubbing back and forth atop Jensen's. "We have the big guys' permission, after all."

Danneel looked rather bemused. "I… don't know how to respond to that," she admitted. "But you've certainly got some cojones, man. Asking a girl out in front of her ex's whole family."

Jensen's mom finally interrupted, saying, "Oh, Jared's such a dear friend he said he could never go out with one of Jensen's ex-girlfriends, sweetie." She was watching the three with bright eyes, and a smile that said she didn't fully understand what had just happened.
Jared aimed a twinkling grin around the table. "Can't blame a guy for tryin'," he said with a wink, and just then, he felt a weight settle on top of his foot, so that it was sandwiched between Jensen's feet. He glanced up to catch Jensen's eye. Jensen licked his lips nervously, and Jared felt Jensen's top foot sneak up and into his pant leg, so that his warm toes were rubbing against Jared's bare ankle.

It was rather amazing how just that one touch could send all the blood in his body to his crotch. The room grew warm and bright, and Jared struggled to swallow the forkful of corn pudding he'd just shoved into his mouth to keep from making an embarrassing noise.

"Jared!" Jensen's dad said, and Jared nearly choked. He watched Jensen smirk. "Where exactly in Texas are you from?"

As Jared answered, he kept his foot within reach of Jensen's. He just hoped he wouldn't have to excuse himself from the table anytime soon.

The ride home was thirty minutes of quiet tension. Martin Sexton grooved his way through Jensen's truck's speakers, but the music was so quiet Jensen had to strain to hear it. He and Jared had kept up their game of footsie until dinner was almost over, and by the time he stood from the table, his whole body throbbed like every molecule in him was connected to his feet. They hadn't stayed much longer than that, Jared making some excuse about having an early appointment and needing to get back, and they had barely looked at one another on the car ride home, though Jensen was acutely aware of every move Jared made, of every breath he took, and how his scent - citrus and sugar - flooded the whole car. He wasn't quite clear on what was about to happen, only that something was in the air.

Finally, he swung the car into a parking spot, and cut the ignition. Jared followed him to the door like it wasn't even a question, and they took the stairs slowly, still not speaking or looking at one another.

It wasn't until the door swung shut behind him that Jensen felt Jared's hands on him. Jared had great hands, real long fingers and a grip that could palm a basketball. He used those hands to shove Jensen up against the door now, as his mouth nipped almost viciously at Jensen's. Jensen had been half-hard all night, ever since that game of footsie, and he let out a low, shattered moan.

"A photographer," Jared murmured, lips pressed against Jensen's. "And you never told me."

Jensen licked into Jared's mouth. "It never came up," he said.

"That's not the sort of thing that needs to come up, Jen," Jared admonished. "It's the sort of thing you bring up on your own."

"M' sorry," Jensen hummed, moving his head to catch Jared's lips again. "I should've…"

Jared's hands came up and bracketed the side of Jensen's face, keeping him still for a moment. "What do you use as subjects?"

Jensen shrugged, thinking only of getting his mouth on Jared again. "I dunno, everything," he said, "people mostly. You. You'd be ideal, probably."

That earned him a grin. "You think?"

Jensen nodded, eyes still trained on Jared's wide mouth. "Mmmhmm."

"Like how?"

Jensen smiled. "Your cheekbones are fantastic," he began, and he brought his hand up to slide one finger along Jared's cheek. Jared went still beneath his touch, his hands sliding down to rest on Jensen's shoulders. Their breathing was labored. Jensen moved his finger along Jared's face, pressing it slightly against his nose. "And your nose," he murmured. "Cute nose." He kept going, skimming the pad of his finger 'til it rested in the divot of Jared's bottom lip. "Your mouth, you know, it's really wide, and - "

Just then, Jared dropped his mouth open and sucked Jensen's finger into it. It was warm and wet, and sent a spiral of heat through Jensen's whole body, sweeping across the back of his neck and down between his shoulder blades.

"What else?" Jared asked quietly, tongue still swirling around Jensen's finger.

Jensen felt drugged. He dragged his eyes from Jared's mouth to his bright gaze. "Hmmm?"

"What else?" Jared said again.

"Oh. Your smile, how it's really happy, and it's like, it's like you can make me happy just by smiling at me. Your eyes," Jensen told him, "and your hair." He swallowed. "Your hands - they're really big, and your shoulders, and, and…."

His finger popped out of Jared's mouth with a slick pop. "You wanna take pictures of me, Jen?"

Jensen swallowed again. "Yeah," he finally breathed, trying to move once again to capture Jared's mouth against his. Only Jared moved away, taking two steps back. Jensen made a needy sound. Jared was still breathing loudly, eyes heavy as they fixed on Jensen.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked.

"You wanna do it now?" Jensen said, aware that he was whining.

"Yeah," Jared said. "Only, I'm gonna need a little direction." He glanced down his body, at his obvious erection, and then looked back up at Jensen through his lashes. "You gonna help me out?"

Jensen finally gathered enough of his wits to move away from the door. He moved as if in a dream, locating his old FM10 on his desk and a new roll of film. He had a digital camera, of course, more than one, actually, but didn't use them very often, and certainly not when he was taking shots he was serious about. He liked the control film cameras gave him, even if film was more expensive.

He looked around his living room. The only light was that coming through the window, and Jensen pointed to it. "Go stand over there," he directed, watching Jared follow his order without a word, his body tall and long as he fairly slithered up next to the window.

Jensen's erection pressed hard against his zipper. He could see Jared's dick long and hard in his pants. Jensen swallowed thickly and matched his eye to the viewfinder. He adjusted the lens, and Jared stared frankly at him, unashamed and gorgeous in the streetlight shining through the window.

Jensen snapped a shot. "Shirt off," he ordered, watching with anticipation hot in his belly as Jared's hands slowly moved to the buttons of his dress shirt, and he slipped white buttons one by one from their holes. When the shirt was hanging open, Jared shrugged out of it. "Both of them," Jensen said, voice growing more sure in his own ears. He watched through the camera as Jared tugged the t-shirt off, and all the while, Jensen snapped pictures. Behind the camera, he could stare at Jared with shameless curiosity, watching his smooth chest appear. His whole body flushed with arousal.

"Pants," Jensen grunted, as Jared licked his lips, and dropped his long fingers to the fly of his khakis. He unpopped the button, and moved the zipper down tortuously slow, so that Jensen was holding his breath high in his throat by the time Jared's hands pushed his pants off his hips. The fabric pooled near his feet. Jensen forgot to breathe. He'd spent a lot of time with Jared by now, already knew he was attracted to him, but he never - he moved the camera away and openly stared.

Jared stared back. "What now?" he asked, the sound magnified in the quiet of the apartment. "What do you want me to do now?"

"Boxers," Jensen instructed shakily, bringing the camera back up. He snapped three pictures, as Jared slowly pushed his blue and white striped boxers down his long legs. When he stood back up, Jensen could see his erection jutting away from his body, curved a little to the left. Jensen's pulse pounded in his ears; he was dizzy with want.

"T-touch yourself," he barely got out, hands unsteady on the camera. His mouth pooled with saliva, as Jared did as he was told, and brought his left hand up to his mouth, licking the palm with his pink tongue and bringing his hand down to encircle his dick. His eyes never moved from Jensen, and Jensen knew he was openly panting. He barely cared about the desperate growl he made.

"Fuck, Jensen." As his hips tipped forward into his waiting hand, Jared's voice was low and smooth. "Jensen, c'mere…please."

Jensen dropped the camera roughly to the ground, already closing the space between them. He knocked Jared's hand away from his dick and replaced it with his own. Never had he - God, it was smooth and hard, and felt right. Their mouths met, all teeth and tongue and spit - "Off, get 'em off," Jared was saying into Jensen's mouth, his hands yanking at Jensen's clothes.

Jensen couldn't be bothered to remove his mouth from Jared's, though he took his hand away from Jared's erection so he could help make short work of his clothes. He'd been turned on for hours now, whole body humming with it, and the feel of Jared's hands on his flesh, warm and callused and pressing hard against him, it was gonna be too much pretty soon. He wanted this to last, wanted to touch Jared everywhere with his tongue, trace his hands along his body 'til Jared was crazy and desperate beneath him, wanted Jared to do the same.

"Wanna," Jensen said, "I wanna -" He choked off when Jared's hand found his dick, twisting and turning against him, and how was it they were both still standing?

"What?" Jared asked. "Tell me."

"Wanna taste you," Jensen told him, even as he felt his cheeks blaze. "Wanna suck you and make you come on me, and, and, Jared, I want you to fuck me."

"Christ," Jared ground out. "Yeah, whatever you want. I'll do whatever, just - " As he spoke, he pushed Jensen down, until they were both on their knees, facing one another in the meager light.

Jared's eyelids were heavy, his breathing labored and his cheeks flushed. There was no way Jensen was gonna last long enough to do everything he wanted, not right now, not with Jared's body and scent and his heat beside Jensen. Jared pushed him back further, bent his body 'til his back hit the floor, and blanketed him. Jared was heavy and solid, and he felt good above Jensen.

Jensen's thighs spread wide, so that he could feel Jared's erection brush against the spot behind his balls. His own dick was trapped between them, heat and friction and precome making him moan every time Jared's hips jerked against him.

Jared kept talking. "Gonna make you," he promised in a gritty, choked off voice. "Make you, want you," and Jensen pushed his hips frantically, whole body seizing up from the effort. He felt Jared's lips on his forehead, and licked a long stripe against Jared's sweaty neck, before Jared pulled back, taking his weight with him. Jensen made a needy sound, so far past caring anymore.

"Sshhh," Jared soothed, "just let me." He looked around on the floor. "Jensen, we need lube or something."

"Bathroom," Jensen told him. "Second drawer down. Condoms, too," and felt Jared move up and away from him.

From somewhere up high, Jared said, "Don't move," and Jensen gave a long, quiet laugh at that. While he waited, listening intently as Jared made his way through Jensen's apartment, Jensen's hand strayed to his dick. He shut his eyes, imaging Jared's naked body, as his hips thrust into his moist hand.

From somewhere far away, he heard Jared make a warm, desperate noise. "Jen, man, you gotta wait for me," he said.

Jensen peeled his eyes open. Jared stood there naked, eyes frantically moving over Jensen's body, and Jensen felt exposed, naked and laying on the floor, and it was okay. "Hurry," he urged.

Jared dropped to his knees. "Open your thighs," he said, and Jensen felt something hard and wet and warm press beneath his balls. He held his breath, watching Jared's face attentively. Jared's eyebrows were knitted together in concentration, and when his finger breached Jensen, Jared gave a strangled sound. His finger was moving further in, making Jensen feel full and strange in ways he couldn’t quite explain. He'd tried this on his own before - of course he had, more than once - but it was different here, exposed and vulnerable and wanting Jared's body on top of him more than anything. His thighs fell open even wider, and Jared said, "It's gonna hurt at first, but there's this spot, and -"

Jensen huffed out what might have been a laugh. "The prostate," he breathed. "I'm not… I've read a book before Jared, I'm not…"

"Okay," Jared said, and he added another long finger. Jensen's body jerked up into it. His hands clutched at the faded tan carpet beneath him, and no doubt about it, he was going to have rug burn on his back. As Jared's fingers screwed him, Jared bent down, bringing their mouths back together, though they didn't kiss so much as breathe into one another. It lasted a long, long time, 'til Jensen felt sweated out and limp against the floor, whole body straining to keep from coming, and concentrating on the feel of Jared against him.

"Jay, please," he begged. "Please."

Jared nodded. "Okay, yeah, okay," he said. He shook, whole body quaking as he pulled out his fingers, leaving Jensen empty and hollow. "Okay," he said again, slicking up his erection before lining himself up. Jensen stayed on his back. He'd heard that it was easier the other way, that it would hurt less, but he was beyond caring; he merely wanted Jared in him and around him and on top of him.

When Jared eased into him, Jensen felt his whole body go stiff. Of course, it hurt, maybe more than he'd expected. His body went tense with it, and he felt too full, like he was being split in half. He scrabbled a little, not quite pushing Jared away, but not encouraging him either. Jared's mouth was open on a long groan, and he said, "Oh God, Oh God, Jensen," as he pushed himself in and then stilled. Jensen relaxed his muscles one by one, letting himself get used to Jared inside of him. His dick had gone a little soft from the pain, and he jumped slightly when Jared's fingers curled around him. Jared began to move then. It still hurt, but the pain was bleeding away in place of friction and the feel of Jared's warm hand stripping his dick, bringing his erection back in full force.

When Jared finally hit what had to be Jensen's prostate, Jensen shouted out, the wave of pleasure unexpected, and like nothing that he'd ever felt before.

Jared said, "God, was that it?" and Jensen could do nothing but nod against Jared open-mouthed, and tip his hips up for more. He felt drenched in sweat, heat burning through him with every frantic thrust of Jared's body. "More," he finally demanded, trying to open his legs wider, and push Jared's slippery hips down with his hands.

Jared stuttered out, "Jensen, man, look at me," and Jensen hadn't even realized his eyes were shut. He dragged them open to find Jared's face right there, an expression of open, naked affection painted across his features, and then that was it. Jensen felt his face twist, and his hips moved quickly, a series of frantic jabs, fucking right against Jared's stomach as he came between their bodies. When Jared followed him, Jensen held on and felt Jared's whole body break apart.

| part 3