so today i was thinking...
maybe i want run away and join the world inferno friendship society.
(before u think im absolutely crazy go to their site and read their "history" page. it's like nightmare before christmas meets....drunk punks and alice in wonderland. i love it. yes i know it's not reality but it was nice to read. i think i might buy some book the lead singer wrote)
so yeah...i was thinking about it today while trying to take a bath (ok lemme explain that. so i had the water running and sat in the cold tub with my book and started to read. yes the plug was set. so after about....20 minutes of sitting ni the same couple inch pool i decided this was not meant to be. so i took a shower, without unplugging the tub. by the end of my shower, there was no water in the tub. guess the damn plug doesnt work -___-)
so yeah, back to me thinking. i was thinking about this and you know how my imagination takes off and takes me with it. well when i got back to earth i realized what and why i was actually thinking all this and why so often and why do i keep looking and all the conversations i have with my dad and what i want and blah blah blah.
i realized it. i finally pin pointed it and now i know what it is i am searching for.
upon realizing it i promptly felt like the biggest tool in the world so bare with me. i am a tool. i realize this. come off it.
my big thing is that i really feel like i need to belong to something. be a part of something. join something that will have my heart. engage in something.
in a way....it''s lucky im here bc the money issue is like a binding contract. i can't leave and waste everything my parents have spent on me and continue to do so but god help me if i was in rv at this point in my life ( i'd prolly have a full time job as well soi'd have even more money) i kno i;d have the talk with my parents, pack up and leave until i found what it is i want.
and possibly fuck up my life and just waste time.
so it's a double edge sword.
ever notice how when i rant they tend to become really really long.
p.s. my shoulder kinda feels like someone stabbed me. during the night. if i laugh, it hurts. if i inhale too deeply it hurts. not that numb joint hurt. sharp piercing hurt. kinda like what frodo prolly felt in lotr four years after the....ugh those dead king things stabbed him. GODDAMN IT. im forgetting character names :( i really really need my lort back. sammi if you're reading this....please please please please find a way to retrieve them from him. i'd do it myself but i never see him so PLEASE?
also i dont want to go home this weekend. :-/
(before u think im absolutely crazy go to their site and read their "history" page. it's like nightmare before christmas meets....drunk punks and alice in wonderland. i love it. yes i know it's not reality but it was nice to read. i think i might buy some book the lead singer wrote)
so yeah...i was thinking about it today while trying to take a bath (ok lemme explain that. so i had the water running and sat in the cold tub with my book and started to read. yes the plug was set. so after about....20 minutes of sitting ni the same couple inch pool i decided this was not meant to be. so i took a shower, without unplugging the tub. by the end of my shower, there was no water in the tub. guess the damn plug doesnt work -___-)
so yeah, back to me thinking. i was thinking about this and you know how my imagination takes off and takes me with it. well when i got back to earth i realized what and why i was actually thinking all this and why so often and why do i keep looking and all the conversations i have with my dad and what i want and blah blah blah.
i realized it. i finally pin pointed it and now i know what it is i am searching for.
upon realizing it i promptly felt like the biggest tool in the world so bare with me. i am a tool. i realize this. come off it.
my big thing is that i really feel like i need to belong to something. be a part of something. join something that will have my heart. engage in something.
in a way....it''s lucky im here bc the money issue is like a binding contract. i can't leave and waste everything my parents have spent on me and continue to do so but god help me if i was in rv at this point in my life ( i'd prolly have a full time job as well soi'd have even more money) i kno i;d have the talk with my parents, pack up and leave until i found what it is i want.
and possibly fuck up my life and just waste time.
so it's a double edge sword.
ever notice how when i rant they tend to become really really long.
p.s. my shoulder kinda feels like someone stabbed me. during the night. if i laugh, it hurts. if i inhale too deeply it hurts. not that numb joint hurt. sharp piercing hurt. kinda like what frodo prolly felt in lotr four years after the....ugh those dead king things stabbed him. GODDAMN IT. im forgetting character names :( i really really need my lort back. sammi if you're reading this....please please please please find a way to retrieve them from him. i'd do it myself but i never see him so PLEASE?
also i dont want to go home this weekend. :-/