(no subject)
as much as i still wish i could marry steven because he's so perfect (its true haha), there is a guy here that catches my eye.
last night i was heading downstairs at the same time as he and a group of his friends were, and he was like "hey wanna go to whole foods?" so i tagged along to the grocery store b/c i was heading downstairs hoping to run into something to do. so i tagged along with them for the entire night last night (which included my first macalester party and my first ever tequila shot).
then today jeff was rather hung over and i spent the afternoon keeping him company in his room. he was sad that i wasnt as miserable as he was, which is funny b/c i spent all of last night trying to convince him that i was so much more sober than he was. but we just chilled on his floor. a little bit of cuddling, very nearly some sleeping, a little bit of conversation...
i dunno though because i just feel so comfortable with almost everyone here and macalester in general. even if i find myself wishing i could spend all my time with jeff haha. it seems like i met him so much longer ago than yesterday. we're all so confused about time and the days... it'll be incredible if we end up in the right classes tmrw, just b/c it still seems unfathomable that its tmrw, despite seeming as though we've been here for weeks.
i've kept in touch with steven reasonably well. it makes me happy. no matter what our relationship status is, he's a good kid to have in my life.
keeping in touch is hard. i miss siri, nydia, julie leblanc, steven, erica, julia, mary, isis. i want to know everything about their daily lives like i used to. which is just impossible. which i should know from moving.
thats the other thing about jeff. i was kinda feeling a bit lonely, missing steven and everyone else, wishing for a best friend.
plus i feel like a whore b/c i've been here for a week and picked up a boy. or rather he picked me up, in a stairwell.
and i feel like being the least bit interested in anyone makes steven not mean anything. and it meant so much.
i dont know what'll happen. and i dont really care. i dunno if he's even interested... it seems that way, but last night he was drunk and today he was hung over. its kinda fun just to have a crush, and he makes me less lonely.
also, college has made me swear so much more than i used to.
and i dont think this made sense.
last night i was heading downstairs at the same time as he and a group of his friends were, and he was like "hey wanna go to whole foods?" so i tagged along to the grocery store b/c i was heading downstairs hoping to run into something to do. so i tagged along with them for the entire night last night (which included my first macalester party and my first ever tequila shot).
then today jeff was rather hung over and i spent the afternoon keeping him company in his room. he was sad that i wasnt as miserable as he was, which is funny b/c i spent all of last night trying to convince him that i was so much more sober than he was. but we just chilled on his floor. a little bit of cuddling, very nearly some sleeping, a little bit of conversation...
i dunno though because i just feel so comfortable with almost everyone here and macalester in general. even if i find myself wishing i could spend all my time with jeff haha. it seems like i met him so much longer ago than yesterday. we're all so confused about time and the days... it'll be incredible if we end up in the right classes tmrw, just b/c it still seems unfathomable that its tmrw, despite seeming as though we've been here for weeks.
i've kept in touch with steven reasonably well. it makes me happy. no matter what our relationship status is, he's a good kid to have in my life.
keeping in touch is hard. i miss siri, nydia, julie leblanc, steven, erica, julia, mary, isis. i want to know everything about their daily lives like i used to. which is just impossible. which i should know from moving.
thats the other thing about jeff. i was kinda feeling a bit lonely, missing steven and everyone else, wishing for a best friend.
plus i feel like a whore b/c i've been here for a week and picked up a boy. or rather he picked me up, in a stairwell.
and i feel like being the least bit interested in anyone makes steven not mean anything. and it meant so much.
i dont know what'll happen. and i dont really care. i dunno if he's even interested... it seems that way, but last night he was drunk and today he was hung over. its kinda fun just to have a crush, and he makes me less lonely.
also, college has made me swear so much more than i used to.
and i dont think this made sense.