Chronicles of Christmas Vacation, Part I
Have you ever noticed that when you want things to go especially smoothly, everything goes wrong? Here's my latest story relating to that phenomenon...
I went to my parents' homestead up in northern Florida for the holidays, and Dan came along at my mother's invitation. He's only talked to my parents once or twice, and never even met the rest of the clan. Knowing my family, I was expecting a sort of Meet the Parents scenario, complete with lie-detector tests and various forms of torture.
It is over a 7 hour drive from my apartment to my parents' place. Obviously, we had to find ways of entertaining ourselves. So when we get close, we call my mom for a little prank. "Mom! It's so foggy on the highway that we passed Lake City and ended up in Valdosta!" (for those unfamiliar with the geography, Lake City is in northern Florida and Valdosta is in southern Georgia). We let this go on for awhile, giggling to ourselves because we're really only an hour away from my parents' place. I eventually tell Mom, and she thinks its funny, but in a very Mom manner, she won't admit it.
Twenty minutes later, Dan curses.
"Shit!" he says.
"What??"
"We're out of gas!" he replies.
"That's soooo not funny," I rejoinder.
Then we begin to coast to a stop in the emergency lane. I realize he's serious. I also realize I have to call my mother, and laugh hysterically because I KNOW she'll never believe me after the whole Valdosta thing.
But I call anyway.
"Mom?" I say, with my voice an octave higher than normal, among giggles, I need your help. We... we... weranoutofgas. *eruption of giggles from Cathy*
"Very funny, Cathy.", Mom replies. And hangs up.
I call back.
"MOM! I'M SERIOUS!"
She decides to believe me because she now hears Dan in the background saying "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"
Dad figures out what is going on, and says, in a tone where I can HEAR the smirk in his voice, "Woudln't have happened if you hadn't driven to Valdosta!"
Point for Dad.
We walk over two miles in the cold (yes, it's Florida. It was still pretty fucking cold!) to the gas station, where my parents meet us. We fill up their gas can, because I don't have one. One week later, my sister gets me one a s a gag birthday present.
Point for Big Sis.
~~~~
Three days after this, we brave the roads again for an overnight trip to Atlanta. Unbeknownst to me, Dan has planned a series of birthday surprises for me, beginning with dinner at a fabulous sushi restaurant, onward to ice-skating in Olympic Park, to a favorite pub of his for birthday drinks, to a chocolate factory for dessert, and maybe go out dancing before collapsing into bed. (Yes, he's that fabulous).
We stop at a store, shop, and decide to go for a walk. It is slowly becoming nightfall in downtown Atlanta. I put my purse in the trunk so I don't have to carry it around.
Dan asks, "Sweetheart, can I get my jacket out of the backseat? It's getting cold."
"Sure."
Dan waits expectanly.
Brilliant Cathy says "Well, what are you waiting for? You have the keys, don't yo--OH SHIT! THEY'RE IN MY PURSE! IN THE TRUNK! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY!"
Dan: "..."
I hung my head and proceeded to call AAA. 90 minutes and one very cold Dan later, we got back in the car. We got terribly lost on the way to the restaurant. But we found it, had EXCELLENT sushi, and laughed and talked and had fun. But poor Dan was too tired after all that exposure to the cold (t-shirt and 28 degree weather doesn't mix well), that we decided to turn in early.
After getting lost for an hour and a half, we found my aunt's house in Conyers. THAT wasn't really my fault, though. Her directions were awful. We had to wake up early the next morning to get back to the family homestead, so we couldn't make up for lost time that day.
~~~~
Other trip highlights made up for the more major screwups (minor screwups included me burning the beans, mesing up the plantains, etc.). But being able to spend hours practicing archery, hanging out with my family (who Dan gets along with very well), walking the property, decorating a tree for my nieces and nephews and telling them the wood elves did it... in the end it all went well, but I was questioning it at times.
~~~~
So end of story time for now. I hope other people's holidaze were as fun as mine, though with fewer mishaps!
I went to my parents' homestead up in northern Florida for the holidays, and Dan came along at my mother's invitation. He's only talked to my parents once or twice, and never even met the rest of the clan. Knowing my family, I was expecting a sort of Meet the Parents scenario, complete with lie-detector tests and various forms of torture.
It is over a 7 hour drive from my apartment to my parents' place. Obviously, we had to find ways of entertaining ourselves. So when we get close, we call my mom for a little prank. "Mom! It's so foggy on the highway that we passed Lake City and ended up in Valdosta!" (for those unfamiliar with the geography, Lake City is in northern Florida and Valdosta is in southern Georgia). We let this go on for awhile, giggling to ourselves because we're really only an hour away from my parents' place. I eventually tell Mom, and she thinks its funny, but in a very Mom manner, she won't admit it.
Twenty minutes later, Dan curses.
"Shit!" he says.
"What??"
"We're out of gas!" he replies.
"That's soooo not funny," I rejoinder.
Then we begin to coast to a stop in the emergency lane. I realize he's serious. I also realize I have to call my mother, and laugh hysterically because I KNOW she'll never believe me after the whole Valdosta thing.
But I call anyway.
"Mom?" I say, with my voice an octave higher than normal, among giggles, I need your help. We... we... weranoutofgas. *eruption of giggles from Cathy*
"Very funny, Cathy.", Mom replies. And hangs up.
I call back.
"MOM! I'M SERIOUS!"
She decides to believe me because she now hears Dan in the background saying "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"
Dad figures out what is going on, and says, in a tone where I can HEAR the smirk in his voice, "Woudln't have happened if you hadn't driven to Valdosta!"
Point for Dad.
We walk over two miles in the cold (yes, it's Florida. It was still pretty fucking cold!) to the gas station, where my parents meet us. We fill up their gas can, because I don't have one. One week later, my sister gets me one a s a gag birthday present.
Point for Big Sis.
~~~~
Three days after this, we brave the roads again for an overnight trip to Atlanta. Unbeknownst to me, Dan has planned a series of birthday surprises for me, beginning with dinner at a fabulous sushi restaurant, onward to ice-skating in Olympic Park, to a favorite pub of his for birthday drinks, to a chocolate factory for dessert, and maybe go out dancing before collapsing into bed. (Yes, he's that fabulous).
We stop at a store, shop, and decide to go for a walk. It is slowly becoming nightfall in downtown Atlanta. I put my purse in the trunk so I don't have to carry it around.
Dan asks, "Sweetheart, can I get my jacket out of the backseat? It's getting cold."
"Sure."
Dan waits expectanly.
Brilliant Cathy says "Well, what are you waiting for? You have the keys, don't yo--OH SHIT! THEY'RE IN MY PURSE! IN THE TRUNK! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY!"
Dan: "..."
I hung my head and proceeded to call AAA. 90 minutes and one very cold Dan later, we got back in the car. We got terribly lost on the way to the restaurant. But we found it, had EXCELLENT sushi, and laughed and talked and had fun. But poor Dan was too tired after all that exposure to the cold (t-shirt and 28 degree weather doesn't mix well), that we decided to turn in early.
After getting lost for an hour and a half, we found my aunt's house in Conyers. THAT wasn't really my fault, though. Her directions were awful. We had to wake up early the next morning to get back to the family homestead, so we couldn't make up for lost time that day.
~~~~
Other trip highlights made up for the more major screwups (minor screwups included me burning the beans, mesing up the plantains, etc.). But being able to spend hours practicing archery, hanging out with my family (who Dan gets along with very well), walking the property, decorating a tree for my nieces and nephews and telling them the wood elves did it... in the end it all went well, but I was questioning it at times.
~~~~
So end of story time for now. I hope other people's holidaze were as fun as mine, though with fewer mishaps!