are we reallly near the end?

Sep 15, 2008 14:07

the last couple of dsys have been arranged very strangely. cant think of any reason for these kind of events but they are how they are. ive been doing this whole up shake up of what the tradition of my foundations are. in this phase of what im calling life. it seems that nothing gets me to where i want to go. the last times ive tried these techniques they seem to develop very strange towards my answer. all of them failed in the long run but they got me through the night. sleeping is becoming something i like to do now. i hate sleeping. i like my eight hours but to lay all day and rest i find a tad bit strange. im about to leave a place that im afraid to leave but i know its the right thing to do. the economy is going to shit. my life is turned upside down. and its time for me to jet. i cannot continue to live this way here anymore. i dont know if it has anything to do with my recent love thing. but it cant be . i dotn know if i love her or not. i just know i feel so strange towards her. and it has affected me. everyone always wantdd to change and the one person who didnt made me. i got the strenght for it on its own. and its time to keep on changing. i just want to move so i can get my life together without any of the pain that being apart might do.and its sad to think of it this way but i am how i am . nothign else i can do about it. so ill be gone.
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