today was to
so i had a crazy day today. but i have realized what part of loving someone might actually be. its the fact that you have to understand that it will never be the way you would wanted it to be. so i stand here so alone. listening to every stupid fucking love . like ive never cared about anyway.l but thats okay. and im truly sorry for anyone else that reads this. but i dont think im in love or lust. i just dont know how to feel and thats the most freedom i have ever had. im not over anything but i am. its this weird feeling knowing that the way i felt will come back. if it will be with the same person or not i dont know. but what do i care. im not worried how i feel about anyone . im just enjoying the fact that i get to feel something. and thats whats lovely about everything.ive been here for about 16 years and im the only one that knows that. so here it is to the different culture that made me who i am today. whether or not i like it. im always such a special person. and this is how i feel. love is strange but it is so worth every penny of it. i dotn know if i ilove the person or the beauty we had while we were together. time will only tell this lesson . and im not afraid ot wait. now im going to be seeing a bunch of girls who i really dont care about but its always fun to make love to people so here i go again doing what i have to get through the night.good bye to anything related to love for a while. i cnat deny that i felt the special feeling like i never had before it gives me hope forsome reason. so goodbye and ill see you again old friend.