(no subject)
sometimes in life we just have to accept things the way they are given to us and make the best of them. things won't always work out the way we want them to, or in any way thats good for us at all, but thats ok, it happens to everyone. at some points, all we can do is to grin and bear things.
i would be lying if i said i was happy all the time lately, but i knew this would happen. matt and i talked about it over the summer that if i decided to end things, i was probably going to be super lonely for awhile. we talked for a long, long time about how i was scared, scared of being alone. i miss having a best friend here. it was nice to have someone that i could call up whenever i felt like doing something or going somewhere or eating a meal and knowing that person would always be up for it, because they were my best friend.
i wouldnt ever blame anyone but myself for this. i let myself become consumed in a relationship, i rushed things. i was blind to the fact that it was hardly relaistic that my first serious boyfriend would be my life long love. i let people i cared about drift away from me because i thought that he was all i needed. i put too much trust in one person, and in true fashion to my life, i got burned.
my mom told me though, no one else could have told me this, not even her, i had to learn this lesson for myself. and it sucks that i had to learn it this way, but at least i figured it out. and in the end, maybe this will be good for me. its time to sink or swim, and i think i'm kind of doggy paddling right now, but i'm not going under. and i wont. i know i will come through this a better, wiser, and happier person, there is a light somewhere at the end of this tunnel. and in the meantime, i've never been that good being on my own, i've always needed someone, so maybe this will toughen me up a little bit and make me happier with myself, just liz. and when all else fails (or maybe before everything else), i know i've got someone taking care of me, and i'll never really be alone.
and finally, when i was writing this, i felt a sense of calming peacefullness. things aren't really ok right now, but they will be, someday. and i'm excited for that someday. i'm going to keep working on things and keep holding my head up. ♥
i would be lying if i said i was happy all the time lately, but i knew this would happen. matt and i talked about it over the summer that if i decided to end things, i was probably going to be super lonely for awhile. we talked for a long, long time about how i was scared, scared of being alone. i miss having a best friend here. it was nice to have someone that i could call up whenever i felt like doing something or going somewhere or eating a meal and knowing that person would always be up for it, because they were my best friend.
i wouldnt ever blame anyone but myself for this. i let myself become consumed in a relationship, i rushed things. i was blind to the fact that it was hardly relaistic that my first serious boyfriend would be my life long love. i let people i cared about drift away from me because i thought that he was all i needed. i put too much trust in one person, and in true fashion to my life, i got burned.
my mom told me though, no one else could have told me this, not even her, i had to learn this lesson for myself. and it sucks that i had to learn it this way, but at least i figured it out. and in the end, maybe this will be good for me. its time to sink or swim, and i think i'm kind of doggy paddling right now, but i'm not going under. and i wont. i know i will come through this a better, wiser, and happier person, there is a light somewhere at the end of this tunnel. and in the meantime, i've never been that good being on my own, i've always needed someone, so maybe this will toughen me up a little bit and make me happier with myself, just liz. and when all else fails (or maybe before everything else), i know i've got someone taking care of me, and i'll never really be alone.
and finally, when i was writing this, i felt a sense of calming peacefullness. things aren't really ok right now, but they will be, someday. and i'm excited for that someday. i'm going to keep working on things and keep holding my head up. ♥