till death do us part

[pnutbutterbunny]

-yeah, it's over, and i want to DIE!!! there's nothing i can do to get rid of the pain of getting my heart ripped out, broken, stomped on, and then shoved back in my face once my body has already died. all i can do is cry and sulk...and drinking isn't helping like it usually does. depression has taken over my bitter soul and filled me with hatred against all men...except him for some odd reason. oh...and if he says he loves me, why can't he look me in the eyes??? i can't figure this out. and i'm dying. really i want to. i love him so much and he just doesn't get it. he doesn't know what he means to me or that i'd give anything to be with him. or that he ruined my entire day. or that i cried for hours over him and my eyes are burning. and i'm still crying for him. and i was so naive to think he actually cared. it just sucks that everytime i actually care enough for a decent relationship i end up getting hurt. i'm tired of it. i quit on boys.

what's worse :

loving someonce so much you'll kill to get them back

or

loving someone so much you wish you were dead in order not to feel the pain of loss.