A response to someones "wish list"
1)You have to tell a girl how you feel about her...we make no assumptions. (Same goes for the girls.. we need to hear that too)
2)It never hurts to work out...take your own advice. (Sure thing bitch)
3)Girls like sex just as much, if not more than guys. (Best news the Male gender has heard.. since... birth control)
4)Not all girls masturbate... (Don't lie)
5)We don't mind watching porn, but it becoming an every night ritual makes us feel like your porn star instead of your girlfriend. (If you acted a lil bit "sexier" we wouldnt watch porn)
6)Hmmmm...guys in trucks...yummmm... (Girls with big boobs.. yummm, kinda self centered huh? Yea dont be a bitch.. some guys just dont like trucks, just like some girls dont have big boobs)
7)Girls need food, water, and compliments to survive. (Guys do too)
8)We think about you all the time. (We think about you too)
9)Being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press. (Agreed)
10)We may think you are gay if you wear tighty-whities on a regular basis. (Agreed, but some guys dont like their shit floppin around.)
11)Hold our hand. (Okay)
12)No backseat drivers...NONE. (Learn how to drive)
13)Girls generally don't like giving head, so you better be ready to reciprocate if and when you get it. (As long as your laughin and lovin it)
14)We are not your all-night restaurant. (How late ARE you open?)
15)Anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month cannot be held against us. (...nothing can be held against us then)
16)If you hold our hand while you are driving we will be thoroughly impressed...especially if it's a stick. (Deal)
17)Under no circumstances will we have a threesome. (How bout a maybe? Give us something to "dream" about)
18)You look hot in hooded articles of clothing. (Thanks)
19)We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy hearing it. (Would it kill you to try?)
20)Having us over while you and your friends play video games does not count as "quality time" (Having us over while you and your friend do make-up and other "girl" shit doesnt count as "quality time" either)
21)Just because we groom ourselves on a regular basis does not mean we're high maintanance. (Okay)
22)Never comment on how much a girl eats...ever. (Stop eating so fuckin much...?)
23)Keep in mind that we withold sex when we're mad at you, so you might wanna get around to apologizing... (Keep in mind.. if we dont call you or dont wanna hang out.. we are mad at you... apologize to us)
24)If you talk about having a 'big one'..we know you don't. (You should make us feel "big", not diss it)
25)We don't shave our legs EVERYDAY, get over it! (You should, hairy bitches)
26)If you do not own a wife-beater, stop reading this list, and go invest in one...right now. (Some guys werent made for "wife-beaters" Some guys dont wanna feel like a fuckin Kid Rock hick lookin bastard that can't afford anything buy dollar wife beaters.)
27)The ability to play the guitar will help you get laid. (It sure has)
28)We're sorry, Brad Pitt just IS hot...get over it!!! (And you will never date him. You are dating us.... regular guys)
29)Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, and cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere. (Okay)
30)Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body..it is NOT. (Agreed)
31)If you're developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes. (We dont have to worry about video games stinkin our fingers up.. or complaining we arent doing it right)
32)Anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about is considered cheating. (Same goes for you)
33)If we can admit that we're wrong, you'd better be able to do the same. (Deal, But how many girls admit when they are wrong?)
34)The excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable...we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying. (We dont want to dance... fuck off.. simple as that)
35)On that note, if you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys...and lots of them. (If you want to be dancing with a bunch of gas station clerks or cell phone junkies.. well thats fine.. we will be at the strip club)
36)Think before you speak...it'll make a world of difference. (As long as you do the same)
37)Not all girls kiss on the first date, get over it...we're creatures of mystery. (Deal)
38)Make fun of our clothes...prepare to die. (If we make fun of your clothes.. you need to buy some new fuckin clothes)
39)We don't always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn't hurt to at least offer everyone once in a while. (Women nowadays have just as much power as men. They can work at the same places... go to the gym at the same places.. play the same sports as guys.. you can pay for dinner sometimes just like the guys)
40)Tell us we're beautiful. (Tell us we're sexy)
41)The "little things" in a relationship are really the biggest. (True)
42)Foreplay isn't something we should have to ask for...it's a prerequisite. (As long as it isnt an hour foreplay.)
43)Don't screw us over...especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends...they will hunt you down and kill you. (Dont screw us over.. especially if we have other sisters or crazy girl friends)
44)If you're gonna look at other girls, at least make sure we don't see you do it. (They dont mean anything to us.. we just like lookin babe)
45)Just because we're still just "hanging out" doesn't make it ok to sleep with your ex-girlfriend, friend with benefits, etc. (Same goes for you)
46)No girl just wants to be your "friend with benefits". (I've had a few)
47)We're sensitive too...be gentle (and we're not talking about just our hearts here guys). (Deal)
48)One word when it comes to smoking...quit. (Deal)
49)We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends. And on that note, no matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. (We hate all your ex b/f's... and they are all fuckin douche bags)
50)If you did something wrong, apologize! (Same goes for you)
51)We will always thinks we're fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't.(Dont fish for compliments. IF you think your fat.. you probably are.. better head to the gym)
52)If you don't act like soap opera guys, don't expect us to dress like victorias secret models. (Why the fuck would you want us to act like some cock-ass from a fake "t.v. Show"? We dont want you to act like a victoria secret model.. just wear the clothes. Big difference
53)Mark anniversaries on a calendar! (Okay)
54)This is how we see it...Dont call=Dont care (You need to call us too)
55)We like you to be a little jealous..but overly possessive is not necessary (Make it easy.. dont talk to other guys. Simple as that. We are the only guys you need.)
56)Don't take longer to get ready than we do. (Is that possible?)
57)We're allowed to be late..you are not.(Bull shit, if Im droppin a duece.. and it doesnt come out fast enough for you.. oh fuckin well)
58)Open doors for us (Agreed)
59)We liked to be kissed softly...not with the iron tongue (Agreed)
60)Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are. (We love you too)
61)Don't act hard around your friends because if you do, I won't make you hard tonight (Deal)
62)Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!" (Deal)
63)Sensitive guys are great...but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right (Deal)
64)Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough (Don't let ex-b/fs cause drama)
65)It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays (Very true)
66)Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG! (Not calling you, not talking to you.... YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG)
67)Do not lie..ever! You will get caught (Same goes for you)
68)You don't have to spend a lot if it means a lot (Umm... okay?)
69)If you love us, tell us (Same for you)
70)On that note, if you don't love us, dont say you do! (Same for you)
2)It never hurts to work out...take your own advice. (Sure thing bitch)
3)Girls like sex just as much, if not more than guys. (Best news the Male gender has heard.. since... birth control)
4)Not all girls masturbate... (Don't lie)
5)We don't mind watching porn, but it becoming an every night ritual makes us feel like your porn star instead of your girlfriend. (If you acted a lil bit "sexier" we wouldnt watch porn)
6)Hmmmm...guys in trucks...yummmm... (Girls with big boobs.. yummm, kinda self centered huh? Yea dont be a bitch.. some guys just dont like trucks, just like some girls dont have big boobs)
7)Girls need food, water, and compliments to survive. (Guys do too)
8)We think about you all the time. (We think about you too)
9)Being able to make us laugh is so much more important than how much you can bench-press. (Agreed)
10)We may think you are gay if you wear tighty-whities on a regular basis. (Agreed, but some guys dont like their shit floppin around.)
11)Hold our hand. (Okay)
12)No backseat drivers...NONE. (Learn how to drive)
13)Girls generally don't like giving head, so you better be ready to reciprocate if and when you get it. (As long as your laughin and lovin it)
14)We are not your all-night restaurant. (How late ARE you open?)
15)Anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month cannot be held against us. (...nothing can be held against us then)
16)If you hold our hand while you are driving we will be thoroughly impressed...especially if it's a stick. (Deal)
17)Under no circumstances will we have a threesome. (How bout a maybe? Give us something to "dream" about)
18)You look hot in hooded articles of clothing. (Thanks)
19)We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy hearing it. (Would it kill you to try?)
20)Having us over while you and your friends play video games does not count as "quality time" (Having us over while you and your friend do make-up and other "girl" shit doesnt count as "quality time" either)
21)Just because we groom ourselves on a regular basis does not mean we're high maintanance. (Okay)
22)Never comment on how much a girl eats...ever. (Stop eating so fuckin much...?)
23)Keep in mind that we withold sex when we're mad at you, so you might wanna get around to apologizing... (Keep in mind.. if we dont call you or dont wanna hang out.. we are mad at you... apologize to us)
24)If you talk about having a 'big one'..we know you don't. (You should make us feel "big", not diss it)
25)We don't shave our legs EVERYDAY, get over it! (You should, hairy bitches)
26)If you do not own a wife-beater, stop reading this list, and go invest in one...right now. (Some guys werent made for "wife-beaters" Some guys dont wanna feel like a fuckin Kid Rock hick lookin bastard that can't afford anything buy dollar wife beaters.)
27)The ability to play the guitar will help you get laid. (It sure has)
28)We're sorry, Brad Pitt just IS hot...get over it!!! (And you will never date him. You are dating us.... regular guys)
29)Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, and cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere. (Okay)
30)Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body..it is NOT. (Agreed)
31)If you're developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes. (We dont have to worry about video games stinkin our fingers up.. or complaining we arent doing it right)
32)Anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about is considered cheating. (Same goes for you)
33)If we can admit that we're wrong, you'd better be able to do the same. (Deal, But how many girls admit when they are wrong?)
34)The excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable...we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying. (We dont want to dance... fuck off.. simple as that)
35)On that note, if you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys...and lots of them. (If you want to be dancing with a bunch of gas station clerks or cell phone junkies.. well thats fine.. we will be at the strip club)
36)Think before you speak...it'll make a world of difference. (As long as you do the same)
37)Not all girls kiss on the first date, get over it...we're creatures of mystery. (Deal)
38)Make fun of our clothes...prepare to die. (If we make fun of your clothes.. you need to buy some new fuckin clothes)
39)We don't always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn't hurt to at least offer everyone once in a while. (Women nowadays have just as much power as men. They can work at the same places... go to the gym at the same places.. play the same sports as guys.. you can pay for dinner sometimes just like the guys)
40)Tell us we're beautiful. (Tell us we're sexy)
41)The "little things" in a relationship are really the biggest. (True)
42)Foreplay isn't something we should have to ask for...it's a prerequisite. (As long as it isnt an hour foreplay.)
43)Don't screw us over...especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends...they will hunt you down and kill you. (Dont screw us over.. especially if we have other sisters or crazy girl friends)
44)If you're gonna look at other girls, at least make sure we don't see you do it. (They dont mean anything to us.. we just like lookin babe)
45)Just because we're still just "hanging out" doesn't make it ok to sleep with your ex-girlfriend, friend with benefits, etc. (Same goes for you)
46)No girl just wants to be your "friend with benefits". (I've had a few)
47)We're sensitive too...be gentle (and we're not talking about just our hearts here guys). (Deal)
48)One word when it comes to smoking...quit. (Deal)
49)We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends. And on that note, no matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. (We hate all your ex b/f's... and they are all fuckin douche bags)
50)If you did something wrong, apologize! (Same goes for you)
51)We will always thinks we're fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't.(Dont fish for compliments. IF you think your fat.. you probably are.. better head to the gym)
52)If you don't act like soap opera guys, don't expect us to dress like victorias secret models. (Why the fuck would you want us to act like some cock-ass from a fake "t.v. Show"? We dont want you to act like a victoria secret model.. just wear the clothes. Big difference
53)Mark anniversaries on a calendar! (Okay)
54)This is how we see it...Dont call=Dont care (You need to call us too)
55)We like you to be a little jealous..but overly possessive is not necessary (Make it easy.. dont talk to other guys. Simple as that. We are the only guys you need.)
56)Don't take longer to get ready than we do. (Is that possible?)
57)We're allowed to be late..you are not.(Bull shit, if Im droppin a duece.. and it doesnt come out fast enough for you.. oh fuckin well)
58)Open doors for us (Agreed)
59)We liked to be kissed softly...not with the iron tongue (Agreed)
60)Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are. (We love you too)
61)Don't act hard around your friends because if you do, I won't make you hard tonight (Deal)
62)Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!" (Deal)
63)Sensitive guys are great...but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right (Deal)
64)Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough (Don't let ex-b/fs cause drama)
65)It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays (Very true)
66)Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG! (Not calling you, not talking to you.... YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG)
67)Do not lie..ever! You will get caught (Same goes for you)
68)You don't have to spend a lot if it means a lot (Umm... okay?)
69)If you love us, tell us (Same for you)
70)On that note, if you don't love us, dont say you do! (Same for you)