(no subject)
Well its been an emotional few days for me.
First off....chuck, the life of our fish tank back in provo, has passed on. He was the large black one with the bubble eyes...well, he was black until he turned colors. So that was a large blow.
Then I've found out who my birth mother is, which I wasn't expecting to know so soon, so I'm a little overwhelmed with what to do with that situation. I have no idea. Call her? Email her? What kind of relationship do I want? What the crap am I supposed to do? What am I obligated to do? What can I do without betraying my adopted parents? The letters this woman has sent are so....sad, my heart goes out to her. I know I do not have the strength to go through what she had to. I know I'm with the right people, but you just feel so sad for her. I guess I just have to pray.
And then there is Logan, who without his support, I don't know if I could make it though the other things. Without his love, I'm not sure where I would be right now. But I am very lucky (though I don't feel I deserve it) that I have somehow earned it once more.
And I was complaing my life was boring. I take it back now.
First off....chuck, the life of our fish tank back in provo, has passed on. He was the large black one with the bubble eyes...well, he was black until he turned colors. So that was a large blow.
Then I've found out who my birth mother is, which I wasn't expecting to know so soon, so I'm a little overwhelmed with what to do with that situation. I have no idea. Call her? Email her? What kind of relationship do I want? What the crap am I supposed to do? What am I obligated to do? What can I do without betraying my adopted parents? The letters this woman has sent are so....sad, my heart goes out to her. I know I do not have the strength to go through what she had to. I know I'm with the right people, but you just feel so sad for her. I guess I just have to pray.
And then there is Logan, who without his support, I don't know if I could make it though the other things. Without his love, I'm not sure where I would be right now. But I am very lucky (though I don't feel I deserve it) that I have somehow earned it once more.
And I was complaing my life was boring. I take it back now.