It’s been a minute…
… but I think about you every day.
This week I saw KMFDM & Front 242. Sunday & Wednesday, respectively. Both bucket list items. Especially 242. The 14 year old girl in me has died & gone to heaven after dancing to a live performance of Welcome to Paradise.
Through it all… I miss you. Our son joined me for both. Of course, they saw KMFDM with you years ago. You gave them some amazing experiences. You gave us ALL some amazing experiences.
I told Tamara I go to every show now because you can’t. I do it for you. I go alone, if I must. I am brave & overcome my social anxiety & just fucking go because you can’t. Sometimes I imagine you there with me.
I’d give anything to have you back. I’d give anything to have the opportunity to apologise to you for those last few years. To just have it out & talk it out & get over it & make up. To have my friend back. To tell you how much I loved you. Love you still. …. Always will.
This is never going to get easier. Maybe the moments where I can’t stop crying will be further apart, but the pain of knowing I will never see you again will remain as real & true & fresh as the first moment I felt it.
I’m so sorry, Paul. I just wish you were here to do this with me. To dance. To sing. To do it all.
Next up, Clan of Xymox on November 4th. Definitely one of your favourites. See you there…
This week I saw KMFDM & Front 242. Sunday & Wednesday, respectively. Both bucket list items. Especially 242. The 14 year old girl in me has died & gone to heaven after dancing to a live performance of Welcome to Paradise.
Through it all… I miss you. Our son joined me for both. Of course, they saw KMFDM with you years ago. You gave them some amazing experiences. You gave us ALL some amazing experiences.
I told Tamara I go to every show now because you can’t. I do it for you. I go alone, if I must. I am brave & overcome my social anxiety & just fucking go because you can’t. Sometimes I imagine you there with me.
I’d give anything to have you back. I’d give anything to have the opportunity to apologise to you for those last few years. To just have it out & talk it out & get over it & make up. To have my friend back. To tell you how much I loved you. Love you still. …. Always will.
This is never going to get easier. Maybe the moments where I can’t stop crying will be further apart, but the pain of knowing I will never see you again will remain as real & true & fresh as the first moment I felt it.
I’m so sorry, Paul. I just wish you were here to do this with me. To dance. To sing. To do it all.
Next up, Clan of Xymox on November 4th. Definitely one of your favourites. See you there…