So, here’s something a little different
(Written upon finishing the last episode of Maid)
How do I reconcile the fact that the greatest love of my life was also the person who abused & terrified me?
He was mentally ill & had a substance abuse problem. That does not excuse what he did to me; to us. I hold him completely accountable for his actions & that is why I ultimately had to leave. But that doesn’t change the fact that I would have given anything for a different outcome, because he was the person I wanted to spend my life with.
I reject the idea that we have to hate our abusers, or come to some realisation that it wasn’t true love, in order to be healed from or over the trauma of the abuse. Because it can absolutely be the case that true love & complete dysfunction exist in the same space. And that sometimes love, no matter how deep or real, just isn’t enough.
How do I reconcile the fact that the greatest love of my life was also the person who abused & terrified me?
He was mentally ill & had a substance abuse problem. That does not excuse what he did to me; to us. I hold him completely accountable for his actions & that is why I ultimately had to leave. But that doesn’t change the fact that I would have given anything for a different outcome, because he was the person I wanted to spend my life with.
I reject the idea that we have to hate our abusers, or come to some realisation that it wasn’t true love, in order to be healed from or over the trauma of the abuse. Because it can absolutely be the case that true love & complete dysfunction exist in the same space. And that sometimes love, no matter how deep or real, just isn’t enough.