One Year 8 Days Later
So here we are - a full year and 8 days since my last post and 2 years and 8 days since my last regular post. It's bizzare that I check LJ at least 4 times a week but I never post anything - looking forward to this odd lil tradition I have made in my head of only making one post per year. And what a year it has been too!
I am still with Trident Technical College, fully trained and whipping out some pretty awesome Flash items on a regular basis. Laura is now the statistician for the Non Profit she works for - checking and rechecking every number that goes through their office. And the best part about that - is she basically made the job up. It was created for her awesomeness and I can say I am greatful that she finally has a job where people appreciate her and reward that hard work in kind. The puppy is as cute as ever and just as hyper and we still live in our super fun apartment.
Now some sad news. My Grandmother passed earlier this year (on Good Friday to be exact) which was horribly sad for me. But she lived a fantastic life and was honored by her church in ways I doubt many people will ever get honored with multiple Bishops, Cardnials, Priests and religious dignitaries of the Diocesse of NY speaking at a persons funeral like this that wasnt a city official or celebrity. I'm sadder to know that she is not in this world anymore - but I am given great joy in knowing that she has moved on to greener pastures and can leave the heavy weight of this world behind her.
I also have rediscovered my deep connection to my spiritual life. Having a crisis of faith late in 07 (ironically on my 2nd year anniversary) about the futility of life and that we may not live in a world with God - sent me intoa whirlwind that has not only righted my ship but brought very real truths sharply into focus. Not to bear down with details - i can share this small anecdote from a private journal i keep.
"I wanted a sign from God to let me know that I am not alone; I wanted to be touched by his grace so I could understand and feel he was with me. I wanted to feel it and know it as much as possible. So I prayed. I got on my knees and thanked him for all the help and opportunities he had provided me to start back on my path to belief and I begged for a sign that I was truly not alone.
On the other side of the apartment in the bedroom - sleeping with Laura was Corde - our dog. She always lays with the wife and guards over her when she naps during the day. The dog knows I can handle myself so she looks out for "the mommy". But as soon as those words left my lips to help me see that I was not alone and he was with me - the Dog got up (I could hear her collar) and ran over to the office. She walked right up to me and popped up on her back legs and put her front paws on my stomach as I sat in a praying position. I opened my eyes and she looked directly into them. I pet her head and went back to praying - she went around to the other side of me and did the same thing again. With patience and delight. I opened my eyes and I understood - God was showing me I was not alone. This precious piece of dog - with her doggy soul had been urged by god to come to me and just let me know I am loved. Picking her up and I gave her a big hug (ok it was small for me but huge for her). We then went and had a nice quiet night in the bedroom with Laura. Me reading, Laura sleeping, and Corde chewing a bone."
But in that time of figuring out my relationship to God and if God even existed I found a certain stillness, not only in my soul but in me as a person. I have tried to let it become the center of who I am - and as a result, I have seen a greater positive turn in my life than I could imagine. Contentment about work, clients, life and the rest. Instead of trying to work through the next big hurdle - I enjoy the days as they flow through me and teach me more about my connection to all things. And good thing too...cause then...I turned 30!!!!!
Holy crap - 30 - thats like a huge milestone. But then I realized all of this was a build up to my 30, a cermonial passage from young adult to actual adult. It was an awesome day of Sushi and joy. And now that its a good month past...I dont mind the idea anymore. Sure I dont want to get "old". But I understand thats because Im not there yet. We're all afraid of what may be to come - but if I have gleened anything from this experience is that this all approaches and passes as we are ready. I freaked out about God and turning 30 at age 29. maybe some people do it at 25 or 34. Who knows? But I'm ready for my next step and I'm confident that no matter what happens.
I'm not alone.
Maybe I'll post some more stuff regularly again. Let me know if you'd like to hear from me more often! take care!
Blue Skies
Shaun
I am still with Trident Technical College, fully trained and whipping out some pretty awesome Flash items on a regular basis. Laura is now the statistician for the Non Profit she works for - checking and rechecking every number that goes through their office. And the best part about that - is she basically made the job up. It was created for her awesomeness and I can say I am greatful that she finally has a job where people appreciate her and reward that hard work in kind. The puppy is as cute as ever and just as hyper and we still live in our super fun apartment.
Now some sad news. My Grandmother passed earlier this year (on Good Friday to be exact) which was horribly sad for me. But she lived a fantastic life and was honored by her church in ways I doubt many people will ever get honored with multiple Bishops, Cardnials, Priests and religious dignitaries of the Diocesse of NY speaking at a persons funeral like this that wasnt a city official or celebrity. I'm sadder to know that she is not in this world anymore - but I am given great joy in knowing that she has moved on to greener pastures and can leave the heavy weight of this world behind her.
I also have rediscovered my deep connection to my spiritual life. Having a crisis of faith late in 07 (ironically on my 2nd year anniversary) about the futility of life and that we may not live in a world with God - sent me intoa whirlwind that has not only righted my ship but brought very real truths sharply into focus. Not to bear down with details - i can share this small anecdote from a private journal i keep.
"I wanted a sign from God to let me know that I am not alone; I wanted to be touched by his grace so I could understand and feel he was with me. I wanted to feel it and know it as much as possible. So I prayed. I got on my knees and thanked him for all the help and opportunities he had provided me to start back on my path to belief and I begged for a sign that I was truly not alone.
On the other side of the apartment in the bedroom - sleeping with Laura was Corde - our dog. She always lays with the wife and guards over her when she naps during the day. The dog knows I can handle myself so she looks out for "the mommy". But as soon as those words left my lips to help me see that I was not alone and he was with me - the Dog got up (I could hear her collar) and ran over to the office. She walked right up to me and popped up on her back legs and put her front paws on my stomach as I sat in a praying position. I opened my eyes and she looked directly into them. I pet her head and went back to praying - she went around to the other side of me and did the same thing again. With patience and delight. I opened my eyes and I understood - God was showing me I was not alone. This precious piece of dog - with her doggy soul had been urged by god to come to me and just let me know I am loved. Picking her up and I gave her a big hug (ok it was small for me but huge for her). We then went and had a nice quiet night in the bedroom with Laura. Me reading, Laura sleeping, and Corde chewing a bone."
But in that time of figuring out my relationship to God and if God even existed I found a certain stillness, not only in my soul but in me as a person. I have tried to let it become the center of who I am - and as a result, I have seen a greater positive turn in my life than I could imagine. Contentment about work, clients, life and the rest. Instead of trying to work through the next big hurdle - I enjoy the days as they flow through me and teach me more about my connection to all things. And good thing too...cause then...I turned 30!!!!!
Holy crap - 30 - thats like a huge milestone. But then I realized all of this was a build up to my 30, a cermonial passage from young adult to actual adult. It was an awesome day of Sushi and joy. And now that its a good month past...I dont mind the idea anymore. Sure I dont want to get "old". But I understand thats because Im not there yet. We're all afraid of what may be to come - but if I have gleened anything from this experience is that this all approaches and passes as we are ready. I freaked out about God and turning 30 at age 29. maybe some people do it at 25 or 34. Who knows? But I'm ready for my next step and I'm confident that no matter what happens.
I'm not alone.
Maybe I'll post some more stuff regularly again. Let me know if you'd like to hear from me more often! take care!
Blue Skies
Shaun