notcrazy_3
in
pmdd
reflection
I have been on Lupron injections for 2 months. The menopause symptoms have been horrible so the doctor added a small dose of estrogen. For the past week or so I have not been crying all the time, isolating from my family, feeling hateful toward my family, severely anxious. If this lasts the plan is to have a hysterectomy and then do estrogen replacement to combat the menopausal symptoms. It scares me to have the surgery but after years and years of pmdd symptoms which have led me down the path of utter misery and near suicide it is probably not a bad choice. I am sure that unaffected people cannot begin to understand the severity of pmdd. No money goes into research on it so doctors are grasping at straws to know what meds to try. I have felt like a guinea pig for years with all these "experiments" with medications. I do know what helps me (exercise, eating less sugar and crap, relaxation,) but when I am in a severe state I cannot get myself to do anything. I am paralyzed.
The thought of living the rest of my life with these mood swings and extremes of sadness, anxiety, anger,..is unacceptable. So, I keep taking the meds offered, read lots of books, pray, and ask my family for forgivenses when the days are really shitty. I think that my biggest sadnees is that my kids have had to watch this monster in me come and go and that despite my explanations to them I know it must be very unpleasant and sad for them.. Happy to feel stable today!
The thought of living the rest of my life with these mood swings and extremes of sadness, anxiety, anger,..is unacceptable. So, I keep taking the meds offered, read lots of books, pray, and ask my family for forgivenses when the days are really shitty. I think that my biggest sadnees is that my kids have had to watch this monster in me come and go and that despite my explanations to them I know it must be very unpleasant and sad for them.. Happy to feel stable today!