Work. But not mine. I don't think.

[pmb]

So, a while back, a friend said that she was having a tough time at work, and I responded:I'm pretty sure that most people's relationship to work is an abusive one. Things like "work doesn't like it if I go out, so I can't be friends with you any more" and "work was bad for a long time, but yesterday it was good, so I think it's changed and we've

Comments

Re: obligatory dissenting voice

[crimmycat]

I find defining self-esteem to be one half of the Zen of avoiding abusive work relationships. It is indeed a very important thing. When you draw your self-esteem from within, seek wisdom, knowledge, and grace as your goals, and have long range goals that are not dependant on the approval of those around you, the feelings and attempts of those around will not have much access or room to impact your heart and soul.

The other half is this: you cannot be in an abusive relationship if you will not let yourself be abused. I have worked in work environments where, were I willing to be cowed by those who believe they are the queens of the office and batted around by the system, I would have been knocked about. Instead, I am the captain of my fate: the people in any work environment will either love me, like me, or fear me, but they will respect me, and they will not be able to be effective in blocking my way.

This does involve picking up the sword and taking the offensive on political battles, knowing my rights and learning people, but it's a worthy fight when it gets the job done and converts the unhelpfull into allies, or at least neutralized.