(no subject)
There is so much shit going through my head right now. I don't know what my deal is. I mean, I have my DAYS when I am upset and just want to curl up and cry. When I want to be all alone, but apparently, I have been like this for four days to be exact. I don't know where to start. I guess it is all the little stuff that is all getting to me at once. I mean, it isn't a big deal, but I just want to cry... There is a certain someone in my life, that I care about a lot. And I know that I am making him mad because I won't talk about what's wrong...but I don't know! I really wish I did, so that it would go away. It's just one of those days...and he wants to know whats wrong, and I can't tell him, which in turn frustrates him more. ARGH! I don't fuckin know anymore! I wish I had my car so that I could go just drive and clear my head...But no, it isn't in the shop yet...Next week Amy. Damn it man! Parentals have been being bitches and not letting me go out...And now AJ asks..."Should I question whether you still like me or not?" WHAT THE FUCK! Yes I still like you, just as much as yesterday, and the day before...if not more! I just need to be alone for a while so that I don't hurt anyone, or make them sad too...I can't deal with anything or anyone right now. I want to yell at AJ just because he cares and is worried about me. And I know that isn't fair at all. I just need to be by myself for a little while. Deal with this bullshit. I think I have depression and was just never diagnosed...this cannot be normal. I mean, I can understand being moody for a girl, because of PMS, but guess what?! Im not PMSing...maybe I am just psycho. Shit, I don't know anymore. I care about AJ so much and I know he is just trying to help me by making me talk to him about whats wrong. But, I really don't know. If I did, do you think I wouldn't be trying to find a way to get over this? Yea...I would! I am going to go...probably cry some more, or destroy something else. I seem to be good at things like that...