BLARGLEAASasdpfojashpgasdjklftttthhh....
Well. I went through excitement, procrastination, motivation, and nose to the grind stone - and now, I've hit the have-a-spazz-out stage of graduate applications.
I'm just freaking about because the majority of my background is SO not in the field in I'm applying for. All my work experience is in genetics of some kind. I didn't get into behavioral courses until the last semester of my senior year. And for pete's sake - anthropology? psychology?? I took anthro 101 my freshman year, and that's it. I don't have any anthropologists or psychologists as letter writers. My GRE math score was 680 and here professors are telling me most successful applicants are well above a 700 - and verbal, the part I did well on, doesn't matter as much. Oh, oh, and of course they tell me that it really would be best if I had a specific research question or problem that I wanted to address because it would significantly strengthen my application. I DON'T HAVE ONE. I don't. I know I love this field but I've really only dabbled my toes in it and I really don't have that much background knowledge in it to narrow down my interests like that. All of this on top of those scary 11% and 9% acceptance rates - I'm just suddenly feeling like I'm not ready for this. Like I'm not prepared enough. Like I just can't compete.
John had a good point when he told me that they can't expect me to go to graduate school in order to get into graduate school - that I can only be expected to have a certain level of knowledge at this point in time. But then I think about all the many, many ways in which I could have been better, and how there's probably other people out there who did those better things, and that's who I'm up against.
I mean, honestly. What do I do when I get to the part in the app that says, List all work experiences related to your field of interest. Ummm...guess I'm leaving that blank.
Well. I do have some shining rays of hope. I know my letter writers love me. I know my biology GRE kicked fucking ass. And...um...when I finally get to writing my statement of purpose, it'll be good...I hope...ulp. I guess I haven't completely moved past the procrastination stage yet.
Just - blah.
I'm just freaking about because the majority of my background is SO not in the field in I'm applying for. All my work experience is in genetics of some kind. I didn't get into behavioral courses until the last semester of my senior year. And for pete's sake - anthropology? psychology?? I took anthro 101 my freshman year, and that's it. I don't have any anthropologists or psychologists as letter writers. My GRE math score was 680 and here professors are telling me most successful applicants are well above a 700 - and verbal, the part I did well on, doesn't matter as much. Oh, oh, and of course they tell me that it really would be best if I had a specific research question or problem that I wanted to address because it would significantly strengthen my application. I DON'T HAVE ONE. I don't. I know I love this field but I've really only dabbled my toes in it and I really don't have that much background knowledge in it to narrow down my interests like that. All of this on top of those scary 11% and 9% acceptance rates - I'm just suddenly feeling like I'm not ready for this. Like I'm not prepared enough. Like I just can't compete.
John had a good point when he told me that they can't expect me to go to graduate school in order to get into graduate school - that I can only be expected to have a certain level of knowledge at this point in time. But then I think about all the many, many ways in which I could have been better, and how there's probably other people out there who did those better things, and that's who I'm up against.
I mean, honestly. What do I do when I get to the part in the app that says, List all work experiences related to your field of interest. Ummm...guess I'm leaving that blank.
Well. I do have some shining rays of hope. I know my letter writers love me. I know my biology GRE kicked fucking ass. And...um...when I finally get to writing my statement of purpose, it'll be good...I hope...ulp. I guess I haven't completely moved past the procrastination stage yet.
Just - blah.