[fic] [request] That Which We Call a Rose (Mass Effect 3 MP Sillyfic)
I'm really only posting this for completionist's sake, as I don't know if it'll mean anything to anyone not in my multiplayer group, but it was on my request list, so here it goes. If you're familiar with the world of ME you may enjoy it just as silly fic, but really, it's just for my Brogans.
And phew, with that, requests done and--I think I'll just try to focus on finishing "Exit Wound" (the Garrus finds a way home post-game fic that's been dragging out for ages) and revising "The Red Box."
Title: That Which We Call a Rose
Fandom: Mass Effect 3
Rating: G
Warning: Silly Fic
Summary: What's in a name, the drell asks. What's in a name, indeed. For firstblush, joasakura and ebeda.
Fic Request Index
That Which We Call a Rose
Sweetpea was getting extremely sick of explaining his name. It sounded better in the krogan native tongue, of course--Greskarr--but the translators kept rendering the literal translation for the lesser species instead of transliterating it, which meant the non-krogans were always asking.
Tonight it was Tambor, the drell adept assigned to their N7 Special Ops team.
"'Sweetpea' seems like a… strange name for a krogan."
"Those council translators aren't worth a varren's spit," Sweetpea snarled. "And so what? His name is Bumblebee." He jerked a thumb at his fellow krogan vanguard. Bumblebee--Vrax in the krogan tongue--tore a hunk off a leg of roast varren and shrugged. Grease and juice spattered his bright yellow armor.
Fenris, the turian sentinel, scooted a little closer to Tambor, and placed his gun clearly across his thighs.
"But he's Mukesh."
Mukesh leered and raised his 'beer' at the team. One of the human infiltrators had introduced them to the stuff. Sweetpea had to admit it was pretty good. Not ryncol, but tasty.
"So… what does that mean?"
"It means Mukesh." Sweetpea glowered at the drell, who didn't seem fazed. He sighed. "You know. Like a giant mukesh. Three mouths? Lots of teeth? Feasts on pretty much anything?"
"I'm afraid we don't have those," Tambor said.
Fenris shook his head. "Yeah, not us, either."
"But you have bumblebees and sweetpeas."
"Describe what you mean by either of those," Fenris said. He was eating something dried and offensively vegetable smelling from a dextro ration pack. Sweetpea imagined prying his mandibles off with a shotgun blade attachment and didn't feel any better.
"Why should I?"
"Bumblebee," Tambor said, "A scaly insectoid. Yellow, with a black stripe along its back. Hunts aquatic life on the hanar homeworld, but was originally a parasite on Rakhana."
Fenris shrugged. "When I say it, I mean a gold priomini,glides from the treetops. Has a hard shell, kind of like an Earth crustacean. A long tail that it stings prey with."
Mukesh snorted. "What the fuck is a primomemee?"
Fenris laughed. "Guess you don't have those."
The glower on Sweetpea's face settled in for an extended visit. "I mean a goddamn bumblebee. You know. Terrifying carnivorous flyer with a three-foot stinger. Fur all over. Huge wings. Good eating, though, if you can kill one before it kills you."
Tambor looked vaguely pale. He swallowed, recovering. "And sweetpea is a highly palatable green seed, grown from a vine." He circled his thumb and forefinger. "Like this. Encased within a pod."
Fenris chuckled. "Yeah, that's pretty similar to what we have. More of a bush, but in a pod, yeah. Ours are a little smaller." He looked at Sweetpea. "I suppose yours have teeth and eat small babies."
Mukesh roared with laughter. He crumpled his beercan and tossed it at the fire. "No teeth," he said. "Or babies. Sweet and fleshy and female food."
"Good for fertility," Bumblebee added.
Sweetpea surged to his feet. "Not just female food! I've seen you eat them too, Mukesh. And you."
"Good for fertility," Bumblebee repeated, tearing another hunk off the varren.
"Looks like a quad." Mukesh nodded, sagely, and tore open another beer with his teeth.
"Like him." Bumblebee showed Sweetpea his teeth. Sweetpea roared, charging the other two krogan vanguards. Beer and roast varren went flying; krogan laughter echoed off the empty structures around them. Cement dust showered the turian and drell still sitting by the fire.
"Every night," Fenris said, sighing and shaking his head. "I'm beginning to think you do it on purpose."
Tambor shrugged. "Keeps the reapers away."
"True, that." Fenris picked up a beer. "Want?"
"Why not?"
They sipped in comfortable silence, the sound of krogan headbutts lulling them to sleep.
This entry was originally posted at http://plutokitty.dreamwidth.org/9599.html. Comment here or there (
).
And phew, with that, requests done and--I think I'll just try to focus on finishing "Exit Wound" (the Garrus finds a way home post-game fic that's been dragging out for ages) and revising "The Red Box."
Title: That Which We Call a Rose
Fandom: Mass Effect 3
Rating: G
Warning: Silly Fic
Summary: What's in a name, the drell asks. What's in a name, indeed. For firstblush, joasakura and ebeda.
Fic Request Index
That Which We Call a Rose
Sweetpea was getting extremely sick of explaining his name. It sounded better in the krogan native tongue, of course--Greskarr--but the translators kept rendering the literal translation for the lesser species instead of transliterating it, which meant the non-krogans were always asking.
Tonight it was Tambor, the drell adept assigned to their N7 Special Ops team.
"'Sweetpea' seems like a… strange name for a krogan."
"Those council translators aren't worth a varren's spit," Sweetpea snarled. "And so what? His name is Bumblebee." He jerked a thumb at his fellow krogan vanguard. Bumblebee--Vrax in the krogan tongue--tore a hunk off a leg of roast varren and shrugged. Grease and juice spattered his bright yellow armor.
Fenris, the turian sentinel, scooted a little closer to Tambor, and placed his gun clearly across his thighs.
"But he's Mukesh."
Mukesh leered and raised his 'beer' at the team. One of the human infiltrators had introduced them to the stuff. Sweetpea had to admit it was pretty good. Not ryncol, but tasty.
"So… what does that mean?"
"It means Mukesh." Sweetpea glowered at the drell, who didn't seem fazed. He sighed. "You know. Like a giant mukesh. Three mouths? Lots of teeth? Feasts on pretty much anything?"
"I'm afraid we don't have those," Tambor said.
Fenris shook his head. "Yeah, not us, either."
"But you have bumblebees and sweetpeas."
"Describe what you mean by either of those," Fenris said. He was eating something dried and offensively vegetable smelling from a dextro ration pack. Sweetpea imagined prying his mandibles off with a shotgun blade attachment and didn't feel any better.
"Why should I?"
"Bumblebee," Tambor said, "A scaly insectoid. Yellow, with a black stripe along its back. Hunts aquatic life on the hanar homeworld, but was originally a parasite on Rakhana."
Fenris shrugged. "When I say it, I mean a gold priomini,glides from the treetops. Has a hard shell, kind of like an Earth crustacean. A long tail that it stings prey with."
Mukesh snorted. "What the fuck is a primomemee?"
Fenris laughed. "Guess you don't have those."
The glower on Sweetpea's face settled in for an extended visit. "I mean a goddamn bumblebee. You know. Terrifying carnivorous flyer with a three-foot stinger. Fur all over. Huge wings. Good eating, though, if you can kill one before it kills you."
Tambor looked vaguely pale. He swallowed, recovering. "And sweetpea is a highly palatable green seed, grown from a vine." He circled his thumb and forefinger. "Like this. Encased within a pod."
Fenris chuckled. "Yeah, that's pretty similar to what we have. More of a bush, but in a pod, yeah. Ours are a little smaller." He looked at Sweetpea. "I suppose yours have teeth and eat small babies."
Mukesh roared with laughter. He crumpled his beercan and tossed it at the fire. "No teeth," he said. "Or babies. Sweet and fleshy and female food."
"Good for fertility," Bumblebee added.
Sweetpea surged to his feet. "Not just female food! I've seen you eat them too, Mukesh. And you."
"Good for fertility," Bumblebee repeated, tearing another hunk off the varren.
"Looks like a quad." Mukesh nodded, sagely, and tore open another beer with his teeth.
"Like him." Bumblebee showed Sweetpea his teeth. Sweetpea roared, charging the other two krogan vanguards. Beer and roast varren went flying; krogan laughter echoed off the empty structures around them. Cement dust showered the turian and drell still sitting by the fire.
"Every night," Fenris said, sighing and shaking his head. "I'm beginning to think you do it on purpose."
Tambor shrugged. "Keeps the reapers away."
"True, that." Fenris picked up a beer. "Want?"
"Why not?"
They sipped in comfortable silence, the sound of krogan headbutts lulling them to sleep.
This entry was originally posted at http://plutokitty.dreamwidth.org/9599.html. Comment here or there (
).