Can't wait for health insurance!!!
I'm so messed up. I have no bloody clue what all is wrong with me now. The last few weeks or something like that (I don't know, time is all blendy with me) my neck has been getting more pouchy-like right under my chin... As a Taurus that really bugged the hell out of me, I thought I was just growing this little baby double-chin that was gonna hang there and bug me. But then the last two days it's gotten much worse, it's all along the underside of jawline and it's sore and lumpy ish. What the heck? I don't even know what glands or muscles or whatever is all supposed to be under there. Miscellaneous lymph nodes growing in response to the pneumonia and possibly whatever is wrong with my tummy a la my pseudo-tonsils? Am I gonna be stuck with a swollen neck forever? It feels like a turtleneck under my skin, I can't just have this the rest of my life! I'll go insane! If I don't already in the week or so it'll take for my insurance to kick in! >.< And to make me even happier, my neck is all broke out with a tiny little dot rash... like select hair follicles have become itchy little sprinkles on my skin? I have eczema so I don't take most rashes too seriously, but the little tiny bumps are a strange problem, especially when they are only on certain areas of my new swollen neck!
And then I still have to worry about what is ruining my digestive system. Well, hideous amounts of acid are, but what would cause the increase in acid? So far I've found one possible cause, but it's much, much, much too scary for me to consider now, when I've been sitting up and my orthostatic intolerance is worse than normal from the infection. (You know, I never really researched orthostatic intolerance when I was diagnosed with it. It made too much sense and I just figured, "Okay, my blood vessels are all idiots. That's why I've been so prone to passing out the last few years, and a contributing factor to the chronic fatigue syndrome. Fun. Lay down more." But I looked it up today and it actually does all sorts of weird stuff to you while you are sitting/standing, and it's supposed to get worse when you're faced with infections! No wonder I feel so icky! Well.. extra-icky-on-top-of-things?) What was I talking about? (No blood in my brain!)
Myself wants me to go to Ikea tomorrow. Actually, she didn't ask really, she pretty much just stated. Even though I have a cat meeting tomorrow. And even though I'm not sure I'll be able to sit up and handle that. She has decided I'm going to run around in a huge 3 story building full of weird furniture. And all I want there is 2 or 3 cheap drinking glasses they might not even still carry. What do I tell her? "No, I can't go because I already made plans to watch trap-neuter-return people fight with psycho animal control people who want to kill everything." or- "No. I don't think I would survive Ikea. I don't know what Lindsay you talked to that sounded like she thought being dragged around the most biggest store ever would be a good idea anytime soon, but I thought I made a few statements on my current miserable state of health to you and at the very least I know you've gotten a few of my depressingly complainy away messages." Or the big whammy, "I can't go because I'm dying, and if I'm not-dying enough I'm gonna go stick up for the rights of kitties who refuse to be indoor kitties." You'd think after a few years being trapped in an invalid body you'd get used to sticking up for it, but I think it gets harder because it leaves ya' with fewer and fewer relationships you want to save more and more despite its wants and needs? Bleh. x_x I want to play with everyone; I need to sleep. Conflict is the spice of life.
And then I still have to worry about what is ruining my digestive system. Well, hideous amounts of acid are, but what would cause the increase in acid? So far I've found one possible cause, but it's much, much, much too scary for me to consider now, when I've been sitting up and my orthostatic intolerance is worse than normal from the infection. (You know, I never really researched orthostatic intolerance when I was diagnosed with it. It made too much sense and I just figured, "Okay, my blood vessels are all idiots. That's why I've been so prone to passing out the last few years, and a contributing factor to the chronic fatigue syndrome. Fun. Lay down more." But I looked it up today and it actually does all sorts of weird stuff to you while you are sitting/standing, and it's supposed to get worse when you're faced with infections! No wonder I feel so icky! Well.. extra-icky-on-top-of-things?) What was I talking about? (No blood in my brain!)
Myself wants me to go to Ikea tomorrow. Actually, she didn't ask really, she pretty much just stated. Even though I have a cat meeting tomorrow. And even though I'm not sure I'll be able to sit up and handle that. She has decided I'm going to run around in a huge 3 story building full of weird furniture. And all I want there is 2 or 3 cheap drinking glasses they might not even still carry. What do I tell her? "No, I can't go because I already made plans to watch trap-neuter-return people fight with psycho animal control people who want to kill everything." or- "No. I don't think I would survive Ikea. I don't know what Lindsay you talked to that sounded like she thought being dragged around the most biggest store ever would be a good idea anytime soon, but I thought I made a few statements on my current miserable state of health to you and at the very least I know you've gotten a few of my depressingly complainy away messages." Or the big whammy, "I can't go because I'm dying, and if I'm not-dying enough I'm gonna go stick up for the rights of kitties who refuse to be indoor kitties." You'd think after a few years being trapped in an invalid body you'd get used to sticking up for it, but I think it gets harder because it leaves ya' with fewer and fewer relationships you want to save more and more despite its wants and needs? Bleh. x_x I want to play with everyone; I need to sleep. Conflict is the spice of life.