Bad Dreams
I have always had very vivid dreams. I can remember them, and usually they are very strange and insanely hilarious. If I feel any sort of emotion in my dreams, I feel them very intensely, and when I wake up, I feel like I have actually done whatever has happened in the dream. I've had sexual dreams so vivid I am sure that I really had an orgasm. I don't mean this to sound funny, but I'm just trying to explain how insanely real my dreams are to me.
So in other words, if I dreamed it, it might as well have happened, because in my mind and in my body it feels like it has happened.
So this morning I woke up to a dream about Ryan and our mutual friend Melanie, who we just saw a week ago. She was in Georgia for the week, and we got to visit with her. It was really nice, and I miss her already. In this dream, however, Ryan was cheating on me with Melanie. Apparently he was going to hang out with her alone (which he had done in the past in real life), and they were getting drunk/high whatever and making out, among other things. I found out about this, and I freaked out. I kept saying, "HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME?!" I was running around, trying to find him, and when I confronted him about it, he denied it, even though I knew it had happened.
I was so distraught in my dream, my chest was really tight and my head hurt. That's exactly how I felt when I woke up. And the worst part about waking up is that I couldn't remember if it was seriously just a dream or if it really did happen. Like, all I could think was, "I'm about to go message Melanie and tell her I know about her and Ryan!" And seriously, thinking about it now makes me sick to my stomach.
Ryan assures me that it never happened, and that I'm being stupid for being so upset about a dream. But like I said, as vivid as my dreams are, it might as well have happened. And the bad thing is that lately I've had several dreams about him cheating on me with various females that we know. But this is the first one where I woke up and couldn't remember if it was real or imaginary.
I looked this up at Dream Moods in their dream dictionary, and under adultery this is what it says:
"To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel some lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others."
I really don't know how to go about analyzing that. I guess maybe I do feel abandoned sometimes, because he always works so late and such...but I don't know. Maybe it's because we never go to bed together. That always kind of bothered me. I don't know.
I'm going to try and make myself feel better, though. I really need to quite dwelling on it. SIGH.
I guess to make myself feel better I have some cute pictures to share from our Wine Tasting Girls' Night from a few weeks back. I really love my dress and shoes because Ryan bought them for me JUST for that night (I haven't worn them since, either, even though I want to!) So yeah, pictures:
Michele, Jen, Me, and Michelle laying on Michele's bed before we headed downtown to the club.
Michelle spanking me because I spilled my margarita on the carpet, lol.
Michele, Amanda, Michelle, me, and Jen in front of a fountain on the corner of downtown on the way to the bar.
Whee, it's Friday.
Also, totally RANDOM...I really want this shirt: HONK!
Mwahaha. Isn't that great? lol
Okay, ending on a good note. <3
So in other words, if I dreamed it, it might as well have happened, because in my mind and in my body it feels like it has happened.
So this morning I woke up to a dream about Ryan and our mutual friend Melanie, who we just saw a week ago. She was in Georgia for the week, and we got to visit with her. It was really nice, and I miss her already. In this dream, however, Ryan was cheating on me with Melanie. Apparently he was going to hang out with her alone (which he had done in the past in real life), and they were getting drunk/high whatever and making out, among other things. I found out about this, and I freaked out. I kept saying, "HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME?!" I was running around, trying to find him, and when I confronted him about it, he denied it, even though I knew it had happened.
I was so distraught in my dream, my chest was really tight and my head hurt. That's exactly how I felt when I woke up. And the worst part about waking up is that I couldn't remember if it was seriously just a dream or if it really did happen. Like, all I could think was, "I'm about to go message Melanie and tell her I know about her and Ryan!" And seriously, thinking about it now makes me sick to my stomach.
Ryan assures me that it never happened, and that I'm being stupid for being so upset about a dream. But like I said, as vivid as my dreams are, it might as well have happened. And the bad thing is that lately I've had several dreams about him cheating on me with various females that we know. But this is the first one where I woke up and couldn't remember if it was real or imaginary.
I looked this up at Dream Moods in their dream dictionary, and under adultery this is what it says:
"To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel some lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others."
I really don't know how to go about analyzing that. I guess maybe I do feel abandoned sometimes, because he always works so late and such...but I don't know. Maybe it's because we never go to bed together. That always kind of bothered me. I don't know.
I'm going to try and make myself feel better, though. I really need to quite dwelling on it. SIGH.
I guess to make myself feel better I have some cute pictures to share from our Wine Tasting Girls' Night from a few weeks back. I really love my dress and shoes because Ryan bought them for me JUST for that night (I haven't worn them since, either, even though I want to!) So yeah, pictures:
Michele, Jen, Me, and Michelle laying on Michele's bed before we headed downtown to the club.
Michelle spanking me because I spilled my margarita on the carpet, lol.
Michele, Amanda, Michelle, me, and Jen in front of a fountain on the corner of downtown on the way to the bar.
Whee, it's Friday.
Also, totally RANDOM...I really want this shirt: HONK!
Mwahaha. Isn't that great? lol
Okay, ending on a good note. <3