Day 98: I'm Dreaming Of An Arrogant Christmas
CRACKFIC GENERATOR TIEM.
To explain, your mod was bored enough to insert random things into a fanfic generator regarding Maoshenko. Awkward writing and lulz ensues. Some of which our Plushy turns into a woman after eating a cake, or takes care of Mao the crane wife CAT PRINCESS. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
OH EETS BOOTYFUL
I'm Dreaming Of An Arrogant Christmas
It was Christmas Eve. Mao sat broodingly on the ice rink, sipping pristine eggnog.
She looked at the hasty necklace hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Evgeni had hung it there, just before they looked at each other eloquently and then fell into each other's arms and skated each other's lips.
If only I hadn't been so golden, Mao thought, pouring a ardent amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Evgeni might not have got so ravishing and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a sordid tear and held her eyes in her hand.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a Russian voice lifted gingerly up in song.
I'm dreaming of an arrogant Christmas
Just stumbling around like a confused child waltzing for the fist time
Mao ran to the door. It was Evgeni, looking Japanese all over with snow.
"I missed you lovingly," Evgeni said. "And I wanted to skate your lips again."
Mao hugged Evgeni and started to sob.
"I think you're drunk," Evgeni said.
"I think so too," Mao said and they skated each other's lips until they knocked the Christmas tree over.
On Christmas Day, they ate roasted swan heart and lived flawlessly until Mao got drunk again.
And I wanted to skate your lips again.
LOL WHUT? And lulz at Plushy looking Japanese. ICU KAWAIISHENKO. (I obviously reused some of the same things in the other two fics though. xD;)
The Cat Princess
Evgeni was walking through a golden meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a perfect little cat lying under a tree.
Evgeni skipped over to see the dear thing and was turquoise to find that she was hurt! A cherry blossom had pierced her handsome little heart and she whimpered appropriately with the pain.
"My ardent little friend," Evgeni said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the cherry blossom, as briskly as he could. The cat cried out and Evgeni's heart ached, like dancing through a Russian waltz, and not knowing the steps. "You'll be all right," Evgeni whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Mao and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Mao up in his arms, Evgeni carried her home and made a bed for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Evgeni nursed Mao, cleaning her heart and feeding her Necklace-brand cat chow.
On the eighth night, Mao climbed into bed with Evgeni. She burrowed under the covers and foolishly skated Evgeni's eyes. It made Evgeni giggle and he cuddled close to Mao, stroking her lips and singing tenderly to her.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Evgeni hurried home so he could curl up with Mao. It gave him a Russian feeling whenever Mao skated his eyes.
Then one night, Mao looked up at Evgeni and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a beautiful princess."
Evgeni screamed faithfully, he was so surprised. How could a cat talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Mao said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Evgeni said and kissed Mao on her lips. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a beautiful princess! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Princess Mao," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Evgeni said.
"See?" Mao said and showed Evgeni the scar from the cherry blossom on her heart. Then she kissed Evgeni and they tumbled on the ice rink and did a lot of very Japanese things, some of them involving a ravishing bird.
"I love you," Mao said when they were done. Evgeni clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Mao had stashed away.
And if Mao didn't know about Evgeni's visits to the cat sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.
It gave him a Russian feeling whenever Mao skated his eyes.
BECAUSE MAO IS OBVIOUSLY RUSSIAN, DIDN'T YOU NOTICE? xD
Tenderly Tripping
Evgeni tripped along faithfully. He was on his way to meet his lover, Mao, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a cat hopping along, carrying a bird in its mouth.
Evgeni was almost on the ice rink when he came across a beautiful cake, lying alone on a turquoise plate. "That must be a treat from my ardent bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked handsome, so he ate it.
It gave him the most golden tingling sensation in his heart. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Mao.
When Mao came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Evgeni cried appropriately.
"Your lips! And your eyes!" Mao said. "They're Russian! Can't you feel it?"
Evgeni felt his lips and his eyes. They were indeed quite Russian. "Oh, no!" Evgeni said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that beautiful cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Mao said. "I got you a cherry blossom. It must have been that Japanese man who lives nearby. He acts a little foolishly, ever since he skated a necklace."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Evgeni sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Mao said briskly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your lips is really perfect like that."
"Really?" Evgeni dried her tears. Evgeni kissed Mao and it was an entirely ravishing sensation, like dancing through a Russian waltz, and not knowing the steps.
They spent the night having entirely ravishing sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
It must have been that Japanese man who lives nearby. He acts a little foolishly, ever since he skated a necklace.
LOL OK, IDK WHAT SKATING A NECKLACE IS, BUT IT SOUNDS PRETTY AWESOME. xD
They spent the night having entirely ravishing sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
IDK IF THAT'S EVEN GRAMATICALLY CORRECT, BUT IT AMUSES ME SO MUCH.
I wanted to do some Swanplush too, but I was lazy. D8 I feel like I should have alternated on some of the words I used, but I wasn't feeling all that creative when I did this. xD
OK BROS, SHARE WITH ME WHAT YOU GET: http://www.prillalar.com/drabbles/
To explain, your mod was bored enough to insert random things into a fanfic generator regarding Maoshenko. Awkward writing and lulz ensues. Some of which our Plushy turns into a woman after eating a cake, or takes care of Mao the crane wife CAT PRINCESS. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
OH EETS BOOTYFUL
I'm Dreaming Of An Arrogant Christmas
It was Christmas Eve. Mao sat broodingly on the ice rink, sipping pristine eggnog.
She looked at the hasty necklace hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Evgeni had hung it there, just before they looked at each other eloquently and then fell into each other's arms and skated each other's lips.
If only I hadn't been so golden, Mao thought, pouring a ardent amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Evgeni might not have got so ravishing and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a sordid tear and held her eyes in her hand.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a Russian voice lifted gingerly up in song.
I'm dreaming of an arrogant Christmas
Just stumbling around like a confused child waltzing for the fist time
Mao ran to the door. It was Evgeni, looking Japanese all over with snow.
"I missed you lovingly," Evgeni said. "And I wanted to skate your lips again."
Mao hugged Evgeni and started to sob.
"I think you're drunk," Evgeni said.
"I think so too," Mao said and they skated each other's lips until they knocked the Christmas tree over.
On Christmas Day, they ate roasted swan heart and lived flawlessly until Mao got drunk again.
And I wanted to skate your lips again.
LOL WHUT? And lulz at Plushy looking Japanese. ICU KAWAIISHENKO. (I obviously reused some of the same things in the other two fics though. xD;)
The Cat Princess
Evgeni was walking through a golden meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a perfect little cat lying under a tree.
Evgeni skipped over to see the dear thing and was turquoise to find that she was hurt! A cherry blossom had pierced her handsome little heart and she whimpered appropriately with the pain.
"My ardent little friend," Evgeni said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the cherry blossom, as briskly as he could. The cat cried out and Evgeni's heart ached, like dancing through a Russian waltz, and not knowing the steps. "You'll be all right," Evgeni whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Mao and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Mao up in his arms, Evgeni carried her home and made a bed for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Evgeni nursed Mao, cleaning her heart and feeding her Necklace-brand cat chow.
On the eighth night, Mao climbed into bed with Evgeni. She burrowed under the covers and foolishly skated Evgeni's eyes. It made Evgeni giggle and he cuddled close to Mao, stroking her lips and singing tenderly to her.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Evgeni hurried home so he could curl up with Mao. It gave him a Russian feeling whenever Mao skated his eyes.
Then one night, Mao looked up at Evgeni and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a beautiful princess."
Evgeni screamed faithfully, he was so surprised. How could a cat talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Mao said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Evgeni said and kissed Mao on her lips. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a beautiful princess! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Princess Mao," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Evgeni said.
"See?" Mao said and showed Evgeni the scar from the cherry blossom on her heart. Then she kissed Evgeni and they tumbled on the ice rink and did a lot of very Japanese things, some of them involving a ravishing bird.
"I love you," Mao said when they were done. Evgeni clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Mao had stashed away.
And if Mao didn't know about Evgeni's visits to the cat sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.
It gave him a Russian feeling whenever Mao skated his eyes.
BECAUSE MAO IS OBVIOUSLY RUSSIAN, DIDN'T YOU NOTICE? xD
Tenderly Tripping
Evgeni tripped along faithfully. He was on his way to meet his lover, Mao, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a cat hopping along, carrying a bird in its mouth.
Evgeni was almost on the ice rink when he came across a beautiful cake, lying alone on a turquoise plate. "That must be a treat from my ardent bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked handsome, so he ate it.
It gave him the most golden tingling sensation in his heart. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Mao.
When Mao came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Evgeni cried appropriately.
"Your lips! And your eyes!" Mao said. "They're Russian! Can't you feel it?"
Evgeni felt his lips and his eyes. They were indeed quite Russian. "Oh, no!" Evgeni said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that beautiful cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Mao said. "I got you a cherry blossom. It must have been that Japanese man who lives nearby. He acts a little foolishly, ever since he skated a necklace."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Evgeni sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Mao said briskly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your lips is really perfect like that."
"Really?" Evgeni dried her tears. Evgeni kissed Mao and it was an entirely ravishing sensation, like dancing through a Russian waltz, and not knowing the steps.
They spent the night having entirely ravishing sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
It must have been that Japanese man who lives nearby. He acts a little foolishly, ever since he skated a necklace.
LOL OK, IDK WHAT SKATING A NECKLACE IS, BUT IT SOUNDS PRETTY AWESOME. xD
They spent the night having entirely ravishing sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
IDK IF THAT'S EVEN GRAMATICALLY CORRECT, BUT IT AMUSES ME SO MUCH.
I wanted to do some Swanplush too, but I was lazy. D8 I feel like I should have alternated on some of the words I used, but I wasn't feeling all that creative when I did this. xD
OK BROS, SHARE WITH ME WHAT YOU GET: http://www.prillalar.com/drabbles/