You had me at goodbye

[plural]

I just had to call you, I had to hear your voice
And tell you I still love you we still have a choice
Youre sewn into the fabric, the pieces of my life
And I just cant remember why we said goodbye

You had me at hello
and every moment in between
however much I tried to deny it
to myself in the beginning

but I
grasped only ghosts
figments of my heart

wisps of dreams
cupped in my hands
with adoring intent
only to slither through my fingers

precious as they are elusive
drops of jupiter
drops of mercury

shimmering

bright stars of desire
burning through my flesh

irresistible attraction
meets unmovable reality
in our secret life

the wind blows off the bow
carrying soft voices

amo, amare, amavi, amatum

to love

cieo, ciere, civi, citum

to arouse

teneo, tenere, tenui, tentus

to hold

foveo, fovere, fovi, fotus

to cherish

the chant of the neverborn
the chant of the neverwas

dreams unrequited
reports unwritten
laughter unheard
ghosts of little feet
patter through my mind

princes and princesses
the king and queen
of our secret life

despite my longing
and all of this is
as it should be
honor is upheld
justice is restored

like a thief in the night
like a smile while in mourning
the transgression was mine
with each breath of elation
smuggled into my heart

yet the reckoning comes
righteous as it ever was
certain as it never was
it struck my heart with a deadly force
it said this heart
it is not yours

You always said I was a liar
But we burn like a house on fire...
No matter what, you know that to be true.

and that is my crime
jealousy, envy
but above all
pride

the gall, the audicity
to dare to hope
that which I could not even think

an optimist looks at the glass
and sees that it is half full
the pessimist sees the glass half empty

I wonder why the glass can not always be brimming over the top
and you lament that it is not completely empty yet
leaving me only to pine despite my foolishness

I suppose this is my due
The vengence of the lord
If I had spared her the truth
given her the kindness of the lie

perhaps it would be different
but now, sitting here
I cannot imagine any words more cruel
than hearing you say that you love me

however desperately
I've yearned to hear it
I've yearned to say it
my tongue bleeds from the repeated bites of my cowardliness

Say that you love him
Say that he moves you
Say anything but this
Show me the kindness I was unable to dispense
all those years ago

lie to me
decieve me
betray me
do anything at all
just leave me that empty cloak of denial

for rejection is ever so much sweeter than this

I hear your words
believe them to be just
to be honorable
but still, misguided

not that I have any right
not that I have any standing
to say such things to you

what am I but a foolish man
a boy with a dream
who has no right to you
let alone to your love

is love enough
to make such a bold claim
does love in and of itself
give us the right to speak

my mind wishes
that standing up and objecting at your wedding
was half as romantic in real life
as it appears in the movies

instead of being desperate
and pathetically behind the curve

of course with you
I've always been behind the curve
the path you are on, set so many years ago

I never expected
to be able to change your course
at so late a date
but
against all reason
I had hoped.

So what now?

Suddenly the night has grown colder
the god of love, preparing to depart
Alexandra hoisted on his shoulder
they slip between the sentries of the heart

I remain

to belong at last to Babylon