"i've got pictures to prove i was there, but you don't care"
in the tradition of inspiration...
i've decided that life is full of shit. it's not what movies or music builds it up to be. it's not a great fufilling story about love in unexpected places. life is this wheel we all take a turn spinning - sometimes we luck out. half the time we end up bankrupt. so lets all stop pretending like there's a rainbow around the corner when really it's just a kick in the face for being so naive.
i'm tired of waiting around for something good to happen. tired of being walked all over because i'm so fucking comfortable. i'm so reliable. what if tommorow i wasn't there for you? would you even care? even notice? i go a day without talking to any of you and it's unnoticed i'm sure. and in that time all i can do is stare at my phone and will myself not to send out a call for help. a call for life.
we had some good times right? i always thought we had this special fit. like peices to a puzzle. we talk for days without being sick of each other. you make me laugh. i make you laugh. when i look at you it's like the world just stopped mattering and i'm all yours. you can't notice my heart breaking everytime you smile. or you do... and just look the other way. i guess it's easier for you to watch from above. take no responsiblity for a messy ending. you're in and you're out. easy.
what happens when i get too comfortable? when i'm finally able to admit things to you. feel like i'm safe. when i can finally trust you. what then? i'm tired of everyone looking at me as if i'm this big chump. i'm so junior high i just want to be loved. am i that girl? i feel like this is real... this is worth the wait. but the right side of me says grow up. rememeber life? it's a wheel and you're about to be kicked in the face. i wish i could be there for you without worrying that someday you'll get bored and leave. dangle pretty things and you'll go running. i hold on as tight as i can but in a moments glance it's out of sight. out of mind. out of reach. how can i start over when there is no way to begin?
i've decided that life is full of shit. it's not what movies or music builds it up to be. it's not a great fufilling story about love in unexpected places. life is this wheel we all take a turn spinning - sometimes we luck out. half the time we end up bankrupt. so lets all stop pretending like there's a rainbow around the corner when really it's just a kick in the face for being so naive.
i'm tired of waiting around for something good to happen. tired of being walked all over because i'm so fucking comfortable. i'm so reliable. what if tommorow i wasn't there for you? would you even care? even notice? i go a day without talking to any of you and it's unnoticed i'm sure. and in that time all i can do is stare at my phone and will myself not to send out a call for help. a call for life.
we had some good times right? i always thought we had this special fit. like peices to a puzzle. we talk for days without being sick of each other. you make me laugh. i make you laugh. when i look at you it's like the world just stopped mattering and i'm all yours. you can't notice my heart breaking everytime you smile. or you do... and just look the other way. i guess it's easier for you to watch from above. take no responsiblity for a messy ending. you're in and you're out. easy.
what happens when i get too comfortable? when i'm finally able to admit things to you. feel like i'm safe. when i can finally trust you. what then? i'm tired of everyone looking at me as if i'm this big chump. i'm so junior high i just want to be loved. am i that girl? i feel like this is real... this is worth the wait. but the right side of me says grow up. rememeber life? it's a wheel and you're about to be kicked in the face. i wish i could be there for you without worrying that someday you'll get bored and leave. dangle pretty things and you'll go running. i hold on as tight as i can but in a moments glance it's out of sight. out of mind. out of reach. how can i start over when there is no way to begin?