Comperio (Supernatural, gen)
Title: Comperio
Author: zeplum
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: 12+
Notes: Thanks to zarahemla and resmin for their beta duties including my crazy tense shifting and fascination with the choppy. Title, according to the online Latin-English translator, means to learn; to lay open. [ETA: As subsequently educated by sathinks it's actually I LEARN in the first person. Which still works, so I'm keeping it as is.] My high school latin teacher would be so proud I could still (sorta) identify a declension at fifty paces. I hope the Winchester men are better at Latin than I was. [ETA2: Lord, I freaking hope so.]
While every kid he knew believed that something was under the bed, or lived in the closet, Dean Winchester knew that there was something there, and how to kill it. It's why, instead of sleeping with a teddy bear, he slept with an 8" Bowie knife.
It wasn't until he was a certain age that Dean realized that his father hadn't been born with extensive knowledge of all things that went bump in the night. But gradually Dean had come to realize that while the Marines might have taught his dad how to evade, kill and survive in Central American jungles, all of John Winchester's practical demon fighting knowledge had been acquired after his wife, Mary, had been killed.
That's what he'd been doing while Sam gurgled and Dean colored -- he'd been learning.
So when Sam said he wanted to go off to college to learn, Dean had trouble comprehending. Why? Weren't they learning already? Logically he knew that there was a world outside of demons and apparitions and all the things that everyone else ignored, but wasn't their life good enough? Didn't they have a purpose?
Then, as Sam was loading the final box into Dean's car, John Winchester told his youngest son that if he left, he should never come back. By that point Sam had closed himself off to any and all acrimony relating to his choice. The walls had been thrown up and they were never coming down. Dean, however, looked over the hood of his car at his father and saw the battle raging there.
He realized that instead of banishing Sam, Dad was granting him life.
*****
Dean returned a few days later. He hadn't said anything to Sam, hadn't tried to make him understand what Dean Thought was really going on. Hadn't tried to heal any of the wounds.
Instead, as he and his father continued on with the family business, and as his little brother bent over books that had nothing to do with the occult, the wounds of the Winchester men began to fester.
*****
When Dean showed up on his doorstep one late-autumn day his sophomore year, Sam couldn't quite believe it.
Dean was all jokes and quick, easy smiles. Sam wasn't in any mood. They carefully avoided the mention of their father.
He only stayed an hour or so before climbing back into the Impala, Metallica blasting through the neighborhood.
A few days later Sam found the note in his jacket pocket. Forgive him, it read in Dean's spiky scrawl. Sam stared at if for a second before crumpling it up, throwing it away.
Consciously he told himself that what's done was done; it was truly his life he was living now. But in the back of his mind, Sam worried if that was the last time he'd ever see his brother.
*****
The resentment had been clear in Sam's eyes, Dean could see that. He only wondered if Sam, or his father even, could see the bitterness deep in his eyes. Dean buried it with the memories of his mother that he dare not speak of, deep with the residual terror he'd collected in his life.
Why hadn't he been granted the same chance as Sam?
He couldn't even say for sure that he would have taken it, but still --
He would've been grateful for the choice.
*****
New Orleans is a life away from dad, away from the shadow, and the ever present expectations. Because no matter if they're really partners in this venture, John is still the father and Dean is still the son. It comes out in subtle ways, and Dean is thankful for the vacation.
He falls flat on his face a few of times, but more often than not, Dean gets the job done. He sets up shop, makes contacts with the hidden elements of New Orleans society -- the ones that will teach him things that his father couldn't, and along the way he even finds a favorite bar with good beer and spectacular pizza.
He realizes it while walking down Prytania one day, this is what freedom feels like.
*****
They're still getting used to being around one another. Four years is a long time and they have to remember things like body bubbles and that at twenty-two and twenty-six, snapping at each other like six year olds isn't socially acceptable.
They try to save that for when they're alone.
But the same old brotherly snark is still there, and Dean's grateful. He figures it helps break up the times when Sam gets a little too inside his own head. He knows it's probably about Jess -- and mom -- and all the things that go along with it. He still hopes that sometimes it's actually because Sam's constructing a fabulously good sex fantasy in his head. Knowing that, Dean would worry less.
But they keep on going, criss-crossing the country looking to kick some evil tail along the way. They use the journal a lot, but half the time they're stuck nose deep in books and newspapers too. And then one day, without even realizing it, they start making notes and adding things to the journal; doing the same thing that John Winchester did so many years ago, his two sons asleep in the backseat.
-end-
Author: zeplum
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: 12+
Notes: Thanks to zarahemla and resmin for their beta duties including my crazy tense shifting and fascination with the choppy. Title, according to the online Latin-English translator, means to learn; to lay open. [ETA: As subsequently educated by sathinks it's actually I LEARN in the first person. Which still works, so I'm keeping it as is.] My high school latin teacher would be so proud I could still (sorta) identify a declension at fifty paces. I hope the Winchester men are better at Latin than I was. [ETA2: Lord, I freaking hope so.]
While every kid he knew believed that something was under the bed, or lived in the closet, Dean Winchester knew that there was something there, and how to kill it. It's why, instead of sleeping with a teddy bear, he slept with an 8" Bowie knife.
It wasn't until he was a certain age that Dean realized that his father hadn't been born with extensive knowledge of all things that went bump in the night. But gradually Dean had come to realize that while the Marines might have taught his dad how to evade, kill and survive in Central American jungles, all of John Winchester's practical demon fighting knowledge had been acquired after his wife, Mary, had been killed.
That's what he'd been doing while Sam gurgled and Dean colored -- he'd been learning.
So when Sam said he wanted to go off to college to learn, Dean had trouble comprehending. Why? Weren't they learning already? Logically he knew that there was a world outside of demons and apparitions and all the things that everyone else ignored, but wasn't their life good enough? Didn't they have a purpose?
Then, as Sam was loading the final box into Dean's car, John Winchester told his youngest son that if he left, he should never come back. By that point Sam had closed himself off to any and all acrimony relating to his choice. The walls had been thrown up and they were never coming down. Dean, however, looked over the hood of his car at his father and saw the battle raging there.
He realized that instead of banishing Sam, Dad was granting him life.
*****
Dean returned a few days later. He hadn't said anything to Sam, hadn't tried to make him understand what Dean Thought was really going on. Hadn't tried to heal any of the wounds.
Instead, as he and his father continued on with the family business, and as his little brother bent over books that had nothing to do with the occult, the wounds of the Winchester men began to fester.
*****
When Dean showed up on his doorstep one late-autumn day his sophomore year, Sam couldn't quite believe it.
Dean was all jokes and quick, easy smiles. Sam wasn't in any mood. They carefully avoided the mention of their father.
He only stayed an hour or so before climbing back into the Impala, Metallica blasting through the neighborhood.
A few days later Sam found the note in his jacket pocket. Forgive him, it read in Dean's spiky scrawl. Sam stared at if for a second before crumpling it up, throwing it away.
Consciously he told himself that what's done was done; it was truly his life he was living now. But in the back of his mind, Sam worried if that was the last time he'd ever see his brother.
*****
The resentment had been clear in Sam's eyes, Dean could see that. He only wondered if Sam, or his father even, could see the bitterness deep in his eyes. Dean buried it with the memories of his mother that he dare not speak of, deep with the residual terror he'd collected in his life.
Why hadn't he been granted the same chance as Sam?
He couldn't even say for sure that he would have taken it, but still --
He would've been grateful for the choice.
*****
New Orleans is a life away from dad, away from the shadow, and the ever present expectations. Because no matter if they're really partners in this venture, John is still the father and Dean is still the son. It comes out in subtle ways, and Dean is thankful for the vacation.
He falls flat on his face a few of times, but more often than not, Dean gets the job done. He sets up shop, makes contacts with the hidden elements of New Orleans society -- the ones that will teach him things that his father couldn't, and along the way he even finds a favorite bar with good beer and spectacular pizza.
He realizes it while walking down Prytania one day, this is what freedom feels like.
*****
They're still getting used to being around one another. Four years is a long time and they have to remember things like body bubbles and that at twenty-two and twenty-six, snapping at each other like six year olds isn't socially acceptable.
They try to save that for when they're alone.
But the same old brotherly snark is still there, and Dean's grateful. He figures it helps break up the times when Sam gets a little too inside his own head. He knows it's probably about Jess -- and mom -- and all the things that go along with it. He still hopes that sometimes it's actually because Sam's constructing a fabulously good sex fantasy in his head. Knowing that, Dean would worry less.
But they keep on going, criss-crossing the country looking to kick some evil tail along the way. They use the journal a lot, but half the time they're stuck nose deep in books and newspapers too. And then one day, without even realizing it, they start making notes and adding things to the journal; doing the same thing that John Winchester did so many years ago, his two sons asleep in the backseat.
-end-