The Polar Bear Project
The role of the crazed polar bear in this afternoon's production is being played by my much loved Snuffles. He got tired of hanging out with Hedwig and the Goat and pushed for a starring role. Who am I to refuse cute polar bears?
Watch as the CIA engineered polar bear stalks Sayid from the safety of the jungle. It likes Sayid the best; might as well eat the smart ones first, even if they are the hottest. The polar bear is only concerned with who could've scored the highest on the Mensa enterance exam.
Having failed to eat Sayid, the polar bear moves on to Charlie. It tries to look cute so Charlie will give up some of his Westfarthingsmack. It waits to lull Charlie into a drug induced haze false sense of security before making it's move, thereby giving fangirls across the world a few more precious moments with their beloved Charlie.
See, the polar bear has a heart after all.
Bugger! The polar bear has been foiled again. It finds a new place to hide and hopes the crazy toe-obsessed man doesn't come to hunt him down any time soon.