(no subject)
This is a reply to someone who sent me a Facebook message. I don't want to send it, but considering I read it tonight, I thought I should make up a fake reply. Don't judge me, I'm fucked up
Hey Claire. Hope you had a good trip.
Sorry about everything. I don't know you well. I don't know why I think I know people really quickly. Maybe it's my job where I guess I'm expected to know things quickly. I've never been good at it with people who aren't kids; but I always assume I should be good with it. but yeah, it hasnt worked so fair
I don't know what exactly happened. I have done stupid things. You've been very clear with me, moreso than any other person.
I really go have an ego. I know you are not attracted to that quality which makes it more dumb. Honestly, in my mind, most of thr girls I pursue have a interest in me and i guess I'm not used to being let down or rejected. I guess cause you did it in such a nice way I could push you. I think I have an ego about being a nice person. I guess since I decided to make something more of it I assume other people will naturally go with it. That's pretty narcissistic of me
Anyway, I know we got along until I was a spastic. I wish I could take it back and make up for it in some way, but I know that the best thing I could do would be just to leave it, pretend it didn't exist and me not be such a douchebag. just leave things because whenever I open my mouth it causes drama and nothing productiv
But yeah. Another thing I guess is that I always seem like I care too much or bot enough. It sounds weird but I reacted the way I did to you saying you tried to commit suicide because I wanted to distance myself from thr professional me. That I like you enough to want to act like how I thought a normal person would. Not a psyc, sometimes I tend to attract crazies because they think I can help them. I wanted to seem incompetent to distance that association between me and job. It backfired for sure
Anyways I won't send this message because every message I've sent you will not appear phony or that there is another agenda behind it.
Yeah I dream of second chances, I guess when I do meet someone I'll realize the chances are against me and hopefully I'll be very grateful
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